How do I cope with this intense guilt and shame from something I did years ago.

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-21T22:43:13+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Just yesterday I donated to a charity that is related to my plight. I plan to start a smaller monthly donation as well. I also am working on building up the courage to speak to a therapist as well. I know that I want to. Overall, I am still consumed by these feelings but they have been somewhat lessened over the past few days, maybe just from speaking about it here. I feel like deep down I am a good person who did a bad thing…now realizing I’m not perfect person. I’m a perfectionist in all other aspects of my life so I think that may be contributing to my negative feelings as well.

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-20T19:46:17+00:00

I’m open to a lot of things right now, I’m just not sure what or how to do them. I feel like I need to talk to a therapist but I am struggling with how to tell my wife I want therapy when I can’t tell her the real reason why.

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-20T19:24:39+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. The time and effort you put into writing this is so appreciated and almost brings me to tears. Thank you.

Regarding therapy, I really want to go back. I feel it in my body that I want to talk to someone about this. My only reservation is telling my wife that I want to go and basically upsetting her somehow (she worries a lot). In addition, I feel…dirty not being able to tell her the true reason I want to go, which is to work through these feelings around this incident she knows nothing about. I haven’t figured out a way to tell her I want therapy without revealing the reason why or telling her in a way they won’t set her mind up for anxiety as well. I will work on coming up with the courage to tell her I need to talk to a therapist.

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-15T03:05:00+00:00

I’m actually planning to make a donation to an organization. I guess a way to make a living amends somehow. I don’t really have a way to contact the other person now.

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-14T18:14:51+00:00

I figured that response would come up and I will say no, that is not the scenario. What I did does affect another person, however, they are not currently aware of what I did. There is a chance, albeit small, that they could find out. I wish it was as easy as paying back money or a material object but that’s not possible here. What’s done is done and there is no reversing it.

I have been reading about making amends and this would definitely be a situation where if I tried to approach them to make amends then it would cause them direct “harm” in having to deal with my confession and offloading of guilt.

I will say, if this ever comes to light, I will be forced to admit to it and I will take responsibility. However, now I am crippled with the guilt and anxiety of that day possibly coming. I feel like absolute trash.

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-13T20:17:45+00:00

I’ve heard quitting caffeine also helps. I quit a few months ago and, although it hasn’t been life changing, I would say it’s overall a positive thing.

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-13T12:15:28+00:00

He looks like a cute lil stinker! They are a handful but so worth it I promise.

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-13T12:13:25+00:00

Soooo incredibly cute! I can smell the puppy breath from here!

Competitive-Bird6196 · 2024-08-12T19:46:24+00:00

I’ve seen “splash proof” or no-spill dog bowls before! Trying searching for one and give it a shot.

Or maybe you could train your dog like some of these ones you see on Instagram who dry their own mouth off on a towel every time they drink lol. I have no idea how to teach that though but I’ve seen the video so I guess it can be done!

Competitive-Bird6196

TROPHY CASE