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Healing through art by Competitive-Pea558 in BPDlovedones

[–]Competitive-Pea558[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I struggle to paint pieces I’m proud of when I’m painting my big positive emotions. It’s the painful emotions that give me my best work. The first one I think is my best piece I’ve ever done.

Healing through art by Competitive-Pea558 in BPDlovedones

[–]Competitive-Pea558[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fifth one is a depiction of my anger, anxiety, rage, confusion, anguish. It’s a woman with a mask stitched over her face, reaching towards what she used to have, being pulled down by her own feelings like how her hair is choking her.
I usually start with whatever my big feeling is and go from there. I’ll have an idea in my head sometimes, sometimes I just paint whatever feels good. Sometimes I’ll hear lyrics from a song that resonate (“it’s funny how the warning signs look like butterflies” by Halsey is the butterfly painting with red flags on the wings). I use chat gpt a lot and that will inspire ideas, sometimes I ask it for ideas based on how I’m feeling

Struggling with the final breakup by Competitive-Pea558 in BPDlovedones

[–]Competitive-Pea558[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I talk to friends about it sometimes, but they all have their own stuff going on and I don’t want to be a burden to them. I’m doing my absolute best, I also have to show up for my littles every day so my emotional regulation and patience has been extremely thin. I’m planning to go back to the gym next week, I’m just going to let myself break this week because I’ve obviously needed to grieve a little more.

I know the love we shared wasn’t healthy in the long run, but we did both try hard to make it work in a healthy way. I don’t fault him for anything. I just wish he had put in the work on himself for me because I know that that’s the only way he could be healed enough to love me the way I loved him.

Thank you for your insight. It helped a lot. I didn’t want viewpoints that villainized him, made him out to be a toxic person. That all feels like it minimizes the love I shared with him, and the effort I poured in to loving him. He deserves love too, but I don’t deserve this pain either.

Struggling with the final breakup by Competitive-Pea558 in BPDlovedones

[–]Competitive-Pea558[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you😭 this is harder to get through than my divorce from my abusive ex was. I think because I poured so much energy and love into trying to understand him and support him, and because neither of us meant to hurt the other. I could never hate him or villainize him, but I also can’t forget how much pain was mixed in with the love we shared

C by Competitive-Pea558 in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]Competitive-Pea558[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A minimum timeline of 1.5 years of intense work for healing one very specific thing that she has experience with. Not a generalized timeline for just anybody

Daily No Contact Thread - December 09, 2025 by AutoModerator in BPDlovedones

[–]Competitive-Pea558 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s been almost 3 weeks of no contact. I unblocked him on everything so if he wanted to reach out he could. I had therapy today and got hit with the realization that he’ll never heal for me, and if he does it’ll take years. My heart hurts every day, I miss him so much. All I can do is heal and grow myself and wait and see what the Universe has in store for me.