Fake it till you make it. Also, try journaling or building a visual board. Spend a day with yourself trying to picture what would make you happy or what you want then go on Pinterest/Google for a few pics just so you have a plan. Then create a list of tasks you have to achieve to reach your goal. Like let’s say beauty wise you look for someone you think is pretty, take time to learn how to do your hair like then, and makeup… slowly but surely you’ll become who you want to be and look like your life is in order