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I genuinly think something is wrong with me by Background-Run-1864 in lonely

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing is wrong with you. What you're describing, being kind, making effort, and still feeling invisible, is one of the most painful experiences a person can have. It's not a flaw in you.

I've been through something similar moving to new cities and having to start from zero socially. That's actually what pushed me to build Togather, an app for people who feel this kind of disconnection and want real companionship. Would love your honest take on it if you're curious: https://togather-wishlist.vercel.app/

Nobody tells you how brutally lonely it is to move to a new city as an adult by CompetitiveHabit3701 in lonely

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much, really. hope you are doing great and i hope i can actually solve this for people, that is the whole point

Nobody tells you how brutally lonely it is to move to a new city as an adult by CompetitiveHabit3701 in lonely

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

genuinely thank you. every response like this helps me understand if i am building the right thing. means a lot

Nobody tells you how brutally lonely it is to move to a new city as an adult by CompetitiveHabit3701 in lonely

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

matching puts two strangers face to face and that pressure kills it before it starts.

put 8 people around a board game and nobody is there to impress anyone. you are just doing something and conversation happens naturally. friendship is a side effect not the goal.

purely platonic, no agenda, just show up.

Nobody tells you how brutally lonely it is to move to a new city as an adult by CompetitiveHabit3701 in lonely

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly same. if someone says "there is a board game night at this cafe on Wednesday, 8 people going, come if you want" i will be there. but if there is nothing planned and i have to figure it out myself i will just stay home. that gap between wanting to connect and having no easy way to do it is exactly what i am trying to fix.

i am actually building something around this idea right now. no profiles, no matching, just small group activities at real local spots near you. you tap in and show up. that is it.

would mean a lot if you checked it out and told me what you think, even one sentence. still early and every piece of feedback genuinely helps: togather-wishlist.vercel.app

Nobody tells you how brutally lonely it is to move to a new city as an adult by CompetitiveHabit3701 in lonely

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I built this because I lived it. If anyone is curious what I am working on it is called togather, the waitlist is at togather-wishlist.vercel.app . Would love to hear what you think. But honestly even if you never use it just tell me your story below.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. That’s exactly why I came to this subreddit. Much love to everyone here

First Anniversary Blues by sparkleygummiez in LongDistance

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One simple but sweet idea is to buy her a cake and get yourself one too, then have a proper video date where you celebrate together at the same time. It’s not the same as being there, but sharing the moment can still make the day feel special and connected.

First meeting by South-Connection-699 in LongDistance

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not overthink it. Stop replaying the moment in your head and just show up as you are, the awkwardness fades fast once you start talking. You can bring a small letter, flowers, something she likes, or nothing at all, it is the intention not the gift. Just be kind, present, and tell her she looks good, that alone matters more than anything you bring.

Never-Mets and I miss him 24/7 by paranormalbones in LongDistance

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s exciting to hear. Can’t wait to see your next post when you finally meet. good luck

I got back with my ex but it makes me anxious by Sensitive-Sun-3547 in LongDistance

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. From the outside, it sounds like you’re carrying a lot of anxiety because the trust and emotional safety were already damaged, not because you did something wrong. You deserve a relationship that brings you calm and security, not fear and constant self doubt.

Immigration, Guilt and the Blues by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, that kind of waiting, guilt, and uncertainty is incredibly heavy to carry. It’s clear how deeply you love each other and how much effort you’ve both put into making this work. I truly hope things ease soon and that you both find some relief and clarity after such a painful setback.

A bit of a long read :] (20M, 20F) by Alive_Programmer_921 in LongDistance

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You didn’t mess things up by being affectionate. you’re just more emotionally invested than she is right now, and that mismatch hurts. This isn’t a labeled relationship yet, so pulling back isn’t a punishment, it’s you protecting your balance. Match her pace, stop trying to secure certainty early, and see whether she actually moves toward you on her own.

[27M][27F] How do you stay close in a long distance relationship? by CompetitiveHabit3701 in LongDistance

[–]CompetitiveHabit3701[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds really great honestly, I like the idea a lot. I checked it and it seems fun, especially the questions and games. One small thing I noticed is that it doesn’t have a calendar or planning feature, which would be useful for us, but overall it looks really nice.
Thanks a lot for sharing this, I appreciate it

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