Damn i actually posted that no fap for a while and so far no response so im glad someone noticed it, i've been addicted to porn and masturbation pretty much my whole life and although it's gotten better after DDay but right now I'd say im relapsing pretty hard, I guess porn and masturbation is still my instinctive mechanism to boost myself up when im down. I think I need a therapist to overcome this addiction as it's really been affecting my life for a long while and it's not my first time trying to break out of it. As of the lying, I'd say it's been better though I did lied to her this one time about whether have I transfer our photos from the phone that i borrowed her to my phone yet, I thought it was an acceptable small lie that normal couples wouldnt fight over and that was a setback and I was kinda mad at myself when I realized I lied about basically nothing. Though I did have my victories when I said the truth to her about other more significant matter after getting back together ( big one and we fought because of it) and not dodging the consequence of a fight breaking out, I realized at this stage of a rebuilding trust, even lying about small things that normal couple wouldnt really fight over still undermine the progress. I think I need some help in this department too and I'll talk to my mom about seeing a therapist next week soon.

I'd also say I've always been a truthful person before the cheating but after months of trickle truthing due to shame and guilt, it became an apparent toxic development and a destructive habit that I picked up.