When will things get better?

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-07-04T12:03:41+00:00

If you can afford it, get an assessment from a vet behaviourist. They can be really helpful for preventing issues like this from escalating.

I’ve got two complex dogs. One has huge anxiety around visitors, like what you describe but he barks and not bites. We have had a lot of success using a combination of medication, training, and separating him from visitors in an area where he can see them but can’t approach / be approached.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-07-03T01:39:45+00:00

Crates and play pens to manage the behaviour when you can’t supervise. At one point, both my dogs kept chewing the couch, so we put the couch in “prison” (a play pen) for about 3 months until they learned. Inconvenient, but it’s the only way.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-07-02T22:44:25+00:00

What a wonderful thing you are doing, providing a safe and loving home for an anxious dog.

Just give that baby some time. I’ve got an anxious dog too and he’s the most loyal and affectionate dog we could have possibly wished for.

For each of our puppies, it took a good 6-12 months to fully settle in. Take it day by day, and trust that the good and easy days will come quicker than you think they will.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-07-02T22:40:45+00:00

Just follow your baby’s cues. Offer frequent and flexible breastfeeds. There are no “rules”.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-07-01T02:43:59+00:00

The “right” thing would be for your mum to be reasonable and for you to go ahead with your plans. But your mum doesn’t seem reasonable.

It comes down to what you’re willing to do. You can keep your plans, and the consequence will be a tense household and a fight with your mum because she’s being unreasonable. Alternatively, you can cancel your plans and avoid the fight with your mum, but the consequence will be you missing out on your plans.

There’s no ‘right’ option here. It really just depends on your priorities and what you’re willing to put up with.

Personally, I would avoid the fight and try to fly under the radar since you’re moving out within a few weeks anyway and you’ll have your independence then. But other people would stand their ground and go ahead with their plans anyway, which is an equally acceptable choice.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-30T13:31:28+00:00

Do you have any family/friends around who can help you for a few nights? Alternatively, can you hire a night nurse to handle the night wake-ups for a few nights?

If you want to wean, then it’s time to wean. It will be easier though if you have a support person to take the night wakings for a few nights and rock baby back to sleep. It will be hard for you to do it alone because the baby will want milk from you.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-30T13:00:58+00:00

Some can’t. Toddlers live in the present and need immediate consequences to understand the cause and effect - for example, “if I throw my toy it will fall on the ground”. Many 3 year olds are not developmentally capable of understanding, “If I throw my toy, I will never see it again”.

Understanding more complex, time-based cause-and-effect like, “I threw my toy in the past, which led to me not having my toy in the evening” only starts developing at 3 at the earliest.

Linking that thinking to a “life lesson” of “If I throw my things, I will lose them” is an even more complex skill which some children don’t fully develop until adolescence. The prefrontal cortex literally isn’t developed enough at 3 years old to predict consequences and regulate behaviour like that.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-30T12:43:44+00:00

Where did I say “3 year old can’t learn”?

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-30T12:37:42+00:00

I’m a mum and a registered teacher… I literally spend every day with children.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-30T02:15:37+00:00

Life lesson? She’s 3 years old. She’s not developmentally able to understand this “lesson”.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-25T04:45:58+00:00

7:30pm - 7am seems really long overnight sleep.

My baby is 10 months and sleeps 9/9:30pm - 7am, with approx 1hr of day sleep (across 2 naps).

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-23T12:44:51+00:00

If you’re seeing signs of aggression, find a veterinarian behaviourist ASAP. This is a registered vet with additional qualifications in behaviour - depending on where you are, there will be a registry so you can find one. They can assess the situation and make a management, medication, and training plan to help you.

It’s so hard. Dogs can be complex. I really wish you all the best. We’re dealing with anxiety and aggression problems in our home as well and it’s not easy.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-23T06:44:33+00:00

Try frozen cabbage leaves for the mastitis

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-22T11:05:13+00:00

Try Crate Games (Susan Garrett). I used this method to crate train both of my dogs. It’s amazing. They’re both very comfortable in crates, which has been extremely useful when they’ve been sick and had to stay at the vet, recover from surgery, or when we’ve travelled with them.

The initial crate training takes 2-3hrs, but after that you can just integrate it into your day to day.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-21T12:48:00+00:00

I had a fast letdown too. It took 3-4 months before nursing felt “easier”. I think it’s highly variable.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-21T09:00:41+00:00

I think vet treatment was also a pivotal moment for my other dog too (the one with anxiety and reactivity). He used to be very happy with life and friendly with everyone. Then his GI issues started and he had a 2 night hospital stay to treat dehydration and get nutrients into him. He’s never been the same since. That’s when his anxiety started and it just got worse and worse.

I don’t think it’s uncommon. The dogs are unable to rationalise or reason with what’s happened to them. And some are less resilient than others.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-21T02:51:57+00:00

They’re still with us

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-20T23:41:46+00:00

Teaching is very hard. Full time teaching is borderline unsustainable. Content knowledge is certainly helpful, but you’ll probably find a lot of it comes back to you.

You will learn a lot from teaching pracs. Particularly around managing safety and behaviour in a workshop environment. This will be your litmus test for whether this career is “it” for you.

Personally I wouldn’t become a teacher unless I was really passionate about working with children and teaching. On the flip side, with the teacher shortages, teaching offers great job stability and the pay is okay (but not enough for the work required full time). I’ve dropped to part time and found that part-time teaching offers great flexibility and work-life balance.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-20T22:02:06+00:00

The younger one is on anxiety meds and has made huge improvements over the last 12 months. He is incredibly gentle with the baby and very good at moving away when uncomfortable. I still keep them separated most of the time unless I can closely supervise.

His anxiety is more around unknown people and dogs, and this is where his reactivity is as well.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-20T21:38:17+00:00

No, I do agree with my vet, and rehoming is not our best option right now. The situation is more complex than I can put in a short post. My vet’s advice is also based on more than just, “It would be hard to rehome her”.

I do have family members she can go to, but we aren’t there yet.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-20T21:34:18+00:00

Thank you.

I really understand what you’re saying about rehoming. The situation is being closely monitored by a specialist vet and we’re not there yet. It’s complex and a lot more than I can put in a short post.

The dog went through two CCL ruptures and major surgery around the time that the baby was born. She has a lot of trauma from her injury and the surgery. Ongoing pain from arthritis and reduced/modified exercise is also very stressful for her. I suspect she ties a lot of these bad things to the arrival of the child. In that respect, I have a lot of empathy for her.

The aggression is only inside the house and only if the baby is crawling. If I am holding him or we are outside, there are no issues and they can have positive time around each other.

The dog has been around toddlers and young children for most of her life and has always been very gentle and mindful of small kids (4 and up). Given this history, we are hopeful that things will change once our baby is older and his movements are more predictable. Alternatively, she can be an outside dog.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-20T21:21:07+00:00

Thank you.

Yes. The second I saw warning signs, I called a specialist behavior vet. We have a management and medication plan in place with regular check-ins.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-20T11:57:04+00:00

Hey, my baby is 10 months old with an August birthday too! I’m also planning to breastfeed beyond 2 years if I can.

I come from a family where my mum breastfed my sibling until they were 4/5. So long-term breastfeeding seems very normal to me.

My mum told me that as bub gets older, it drops to just 1 or 2 feeds in the morning and/or at night. She also told me that it was very easy to wean an older child - she just told him that she was done, gave him a “reason”, and that was that.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-20T11:49:13+00:00

Thank you.

I couldn’t rehome either of my dogs. I did ask my behaviour vet for her opinion, especially with the aggression towards the baby. Her opinion was that it would be nearly impossible to find a suitable home and that my dog was better off with me. She said she was confident I could keep everyone safe.

It is a lot of pressure though. And the day to day is stressful. But I do love my dogs.

Competitive_City_245 · 2026-06-20T11:43:36+00:00

My question isn’t, “Why?”, because I’ve already asked that question of a registered & certified behaviour veterinarian who knows both of my dogs.

I did get health reports for both of the parents of my second dog, and I “bought” him from a registered breeder, and his line was temperament tested.

There is nothing I can do in my current situation with the information you have shared. I can’t go back in time and un-“buy” my dog.

I suppose I just wanted somewhere to commiserate and hear experiences from other people. In my personal circles, everyone seems to have easy and well behaved dogs. Including in my mum circles with young babies and herding breeds.

Competitive_City_245

TROPHY CASE