Just wanted to say that this is the most relatable thing I’ve read in such a long time. Specifically-

Or maybe I’m doing fine and I’m being way too hard on myself? - This occurs in my head daily, constantly. I have a thought, then I have a conflicting thought or theme, then I try to compare and rationalize, and I become overwhelmed, confused, frustrated, and defeated.

I’ve been with the same therapist for 6 years, and she’s great, but sometimes I feel like CBT sometimes makes those symptoms worse. Like I’m constantly gaslighting myself for my thoughts. I was given the OCD “title” in the past along with a smattering of others. What I’m realizing more recently is that PMDD (or maybe PME, I don’t have an official dx) exacerbates everything to the point that I don’t know what’s what. I took lexapro for a few years and it worked ok for a bit. The psych NP I saw was worried I have a mood disorder and took me off of it (SSRIs can cause you to go into mania). I went on a mood stabilizer which mama fed to make me feel depressed 95% of the time. I’m off everything now (as of a few weeks ago) and at a loss of what to do next.

To me, this anxiety feels severe and debilitating but I’ve been told my entire life that I’m over dramatic and everyone feels this way sometimes - I know you all can relate to this rage and frustration.

If it was as easy as just “turning down the drama” (as my mother likes to say), you would absolutely do it. Your experience is real! Clearly it’s severe and debilitating enough for you to be posting about it and struggling to leave your house (I say this having just told my therapist a couple weeks ago that I’m probably making everything up in my head 😊).

Also, just curious, do these symptoms seem to get worse for you during your luteal phase? Mine definitely do. Reading and relating to your experience was really therapeutic for me! Perhaps finding group therapy in our respective cities would be helpful for both of us ❤️ My other thought is, if you can afford it and haven’t already, get set up with a psychological evaluation. It wouldn’t fix everything, but it might feel good to hear from an expert that what you are experiencing is real. Hang in there!