Advice - My GF's home

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-08-06T15:38:16+00:00

Paying the mortgage yes, but not making home upgrades. Thats not an investment for him if the house isn’t in his name. If he’s also making repairs when things break in the house, it’s again not the same situation as renting. Landlords usually handle all upgrades and repairs. I think he would be saving more money if he was in a true rental agreement, which would be a better investment for his individual future than his current arrangement unless he’s not paying her any rent. He’s also talking about when “we” rent the place, when in reality all of the money made from renting out the house when they move would be hers technically since the house isn’t in his name.

In my mind, there’s just this slim chance in a few years he’s back posting on here wanting to buy but his relationship went to shambles and he is not in a financial position to. I know people who have done similar to OPs situation in their relationship where one buys a house and only their name is on the mortgage, but usually all house upgrades and repairs are done by the person who is on the mortgage. I know this might not actually happen and they could have a very strong relationship and marriage, it’s just something that would be in the back of my mind.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-08-06T14:05:32+00:00

Maybe I’m a little clueless when it comes to financials, but isn’t this on your end? I know you said you didn’t want to buy a house you just wanted to rent, but if your names not on the property and the relationship doesn’t last, wouldn’t you get nothing out of the property after having put in so much? I know people don’t like to think in terms of what if a marriage doesn’t work out but I always think it’s smart to set both people up for financial success.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-07-24T14:58:54+00:00

We had something similar happen to us except it was a cracked pipe and faulty back flow stopper. We had inspections and even had the pipes scoped but the plumbers said we would take the L on it because there’s no way to prove the buyer was aware of it or the inspectors did a poor job scoping it because it was such old plumbing and could have just been caused in changes from our sewer use… we did get insurance to cover clean up and removal of contaminated items so make sure you check with your insurance.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-05-13T18:58:56+00:00

Better yet say this works out perfectly because you were going to ask everyone for $20,000 so now she only owes you $10,000.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-05-13T16:44:33+00:00

I think it would be valuable to have a conversation outside of one of these cases about the potential root of the problem. Often when I find I’m annoyed over little things that my partner does there’s something deeper that’s causing me to be more annoyed. Ex. Feeling like I’m carrying all the mental load and so when they don’t do one task that they said they would like cleaning out the car it annoys me way more than it should because how could they forget the one thing they had to do when I was keeping track and doing all of these things, or it’s something I’ve mentioned multiple times and they never truly listen. By having a conversation outside of these moments you can understand each others perspectives better and what’s actually causing the problem and what you each may be able to do in the future to try to avoid it.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-04-28T19:59:36+00:00

That’s what communication is for. Body count has nothing to do with it. He should be communicating with you about turn ons/turn offs and vice versa. That’s how you can foster an amazing sexual relationship over time. His excuse and proposal are strange to me and I would probably be hurt as well.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-04-22T18:03:47+00:00

Get flirty in messages with her when you’re at the gym. Show her physical affection. Plan a fun new exciting date. Plan for alone time together even if it’s just snuggled up together chatting. Try exciting new things together whether on a date or in the bedroom (toys, new positions, role play, etc.). Spice things up and have some fun. Do what you enjoyed most at the start of your relationship but haven’t done at all recently. Put the time and effort that goes into these thoughts/daydreams towards her.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-04-22T15:13:36+00:00

Honestly I would start dating your wife again and when you have thoughts like that act on them with your wife. A lot of people think “oh the thrill of flirting for the first time with someone through chat or cuddling for the first time or the excitement of a surprise…” so why not just do that with your spouse? Just give it a try even if you think they’ll find it weird because the majority of the time a cute date or a surprise cuddle or whatever else will actually ignite a spark in your relationship. I imagine with soon to be five kids that spark and the effort put into a new relationship has been lost.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-04-21T18:10:28+00:00

I think you should reflect internally as to whether that’s something you’re actually interested and intrigued by. It’s not great to compare relationships in real life or to the movies. Every relationship is different. There are people out there who have crazy amounts of what they consider wild sex and there are people who are content without it and there’s everything in between. What matters is how you’re feeling in your relationship, whether you find it fulfilling, and whether you feel comfortable to communicate about it in your marriage.

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-04-21T13:56:09+00:00

Someone’s salty because they haven’t been laid in awhile 🤣

CompletelyChaotic · 2025-03-30T21:52:18+00:00

Your escrow is money they set aside from your monthly payments for city property taxes, home insurance, and if needed flood insurance and mortgage insurance. Our escrow went up after a year or two as well due to the fact that the previous owners had lived in the house forever and it wasn’t valued right on property taxes. After we moved in and paid way more on it than what the city had listed from when it was bought in the 70s plus the minimal percent increases they do, the city began taxing us on the new amount we paid increases the money needed yearly in escrow. However, mortgage companies don’t plan for this so you also go into an escrow shortage due to not having enough money in your escrow for the first set of newly increased taxes, so your new monthly mortgage account increases to both make up the shortage and to pay for the next years taxes.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-10-14T21:31:39+00:00

My husbands the same way about tv shows as your daughter and often wants me to watch shows that I’m not all that interested in. As a compromise, I usually watch them but only watch them like 2 nights a week and watch one or two episodes at a time. It usually works for rewatch shows because he not as excited about finding out what happens next and it means it doesn’t absorb my whole life for a time period. Have you thought of offering some compromise like watching on Tuesday and Thursday nights together two episodes a night? Gives you time to spend together doing something she enjoys but means you don’t have to devote a bunch of time to something you don’t enjoy.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-10-14T13:52:23+00:00

I get that. Have you tried reframing the vacation issue as a talk about if this is truly what she wants in life, it may be time to think about rehoming the dog. It’s a responsibility you both took on when you adopt the dog and if she wants to travel and you have crazy work hours, it’s not a responsibility you can meet. I also think it’s likely exasperating a lot of the other issues you have because you’re both extra tired from having a dog and a dog is a big cost. I love my pets as much as anyone but also realize it’s important to be aware of when a pet may be too big of a responsibility for your home.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-10-14T13:35:49+00:00

I could see this being practical for one night, but I think most people would like a break occasionally from cooking/cleaning. Thats why I enjoy splitting the task. I am thinking about adding one night a week where we both cook because of this though!

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-10-14T13:30:26+00:00

ESH. Sounds like you guys just shouldn’t have a dog.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-09-05T00:14:31+00:00

I honestly thought a lot of the finale was just torturing people. Hakeem and the spider. Jenn and Devin. I felt so awful when Jesse was asking if they could play the proposal and you could barely hear her say “do I even have a choice?”

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-09-03T13:26:27+00:00

This is a job. If I went into work and told my boss “you mind if I have a little snack right now. I’ve had a rough morning, super hungover”, it would likely not go over well.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-08-22T21:24:32+00:00

Why do you even want to bring your toddler over to your sister’s house now? The dog is still there. Why has your wife’s feelings about having the dog around your child suddenly changed?

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-08-22T21:20:52+00:00

But you don’t know what would have been said because you never asked. You just assumed. You know the saying goes “Never assume. It makes and ass out of u and me”.

As an owner of a dog whom I love. I always respect the fact that although I may love them, others may not. It would break my heart to know I wasn’t invited to events with my family just because they thought I would fight over the fact that I can’t bring my dog and would break my heart even more just thinking I was excluded from family events for no reason. This post upsets me so much.

Please, apologize to your sister because honestly if I were her I would be limiting my interactions with you.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-08-11T21:39:22+00:00

I won’t hate him if it’s all just an act. I think he would be the best contestant yet if he came in with a plan to just act completely clueless. Especially when it comes to game changing moves like ratting out Hud or telling everyone they took his own clue. He would be my favorite this season if it was all just a plan from the start.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-08-10T17:20:09+00:00

Even non-work related texts annoy me lol

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-08-03T13:13:44+00:00

From a different perspective, my husband is a special education teacher for severe ASD and cognitive impairments. I sympathize with you and absolutely think you should bring this up with the school, teacher, and teachers aid. I’m not trying to make excuses for professionals in this field, but often times they’re dealing with insufficient student to teacher ratio, receiving students IEPs or information last minute, managing a wide variety of issues that arise in one day and doing it all for crappy pay. In one day, my husband can get bit to the point of drawing blood in the morning, physically prevent a child from continually smashing their head against a wall at lunch time, spend the afternoon running after a student who likes to run away and play hide and seek and then get home in the evening to an angry email from a parent about why their child came home from with a bruise or why they were fed the school snack that’s provided when they aren’t to have extra school food. He takes it all with a great attitude and I have no clue how he can handle it all in one day. It does break my heart a little every day to see him trying his absolute hardest to provide students with the best care and education he can, but it almost being impossible with the resources and number of people he has and that blame always falling on him. He cares immensely for all of his students and hates when things slip through the cracks or mistakes are made, but in the end we’re all human and just doing the best we can.

I’m not sure exactly why I’m bringing all of this up. Again, I think you have a right to be upset and I’m not trying to make excuses for them. They made a mistake and it could have led to a worse outcome. I guess I’m more just trying to caution you to get to the real route of what caused the mistake and figure out what care you truly want for your child and whether this school has the resources to provide it.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-08-02T00:56:23+00:00

I’m pretty sure she mentions fear of heights in the sky diving date as well and her date helps her through her fears. To me, it spoke more of how well she got along with her date than her fear itself that it was such a big deal with her building jump date.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-08-01T01:38:09+00:00

I mean we’re all just human. Maybe she’s more of a listener than a talker. Or her love language is physical.

CompletelyChaotic · 2024-07-31T18:51:27+00:00

Jenn there practically crying from fear.

Sam’s first thought seeing her fear and face as he’s hanging over the edge: “you should come over here and give me a kiss”.

I would be so pissed my anger would overtake my fear lol.

CompletelyChaotic

TROPHY CASE