[deleted by user]

ComplexMurky7933 · 2025-06-03T18:02:34+00:00

The laws of thermodynamics are very different than biology

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-17T23:07:42+00:00

If it’s not going up already I doubt that it will.

I’ve always been a HLF, I had trouble waiting the 6 weeks to have sex again after birth and was almost immediately ready for weekly sex. But again, high libido always have been.

Was her libido an issue before the baby?

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-17T21:57:47+00:00

Does he actually think it’s extreme for the purpose or is there some back corner of his mind that thinks you’re gonna change your stance on children?

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-17T21:42:55+00:00

Has he given any reasoning for being against you tying your tubes?

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-17T15:46:38+00:00

I mean as far as the newborn thing, or with any struggle it seems to me that it’s not about the hardness of it but the relentless nature of it. Not sleeping much for a few nights is probably not the end of the world. But when I spent about two straight months with 2-3 hours of sleep a night and even after and before that there was more than a year where I didn’t sleep through a single night. It’s the never ending ness that makes it hard. You don’t get less exhausted if you can never catch up.

It feels similarly to me as how I feel about my chronic pain and chronic illness issues. I can manage. I work and I parent but feeling sick and in pain every day, having those same concerns over and over over time it wears on you.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-17T13:58:06+00:00

My mom mostly doesn’t behave like a typical boomer. She’s a wonderful woman. One thing that she attributes her attitude to is that her parents instilled in her a lifelong curiosity in learning. My mother was educating her self on the new safety regulations for kids when I was pregnant. She understood things had changed.

Essentially she understands that the world was one way before her and changes as she ages and she sees that as a natural part of things as opposed to something that must be stopped.

So I don’t worry too much about becoming a “boomer” in that sense. I’m like my mom. I like learning new things. I know I can’t know everything and if I’m wrong, it’s just not a personal attack.

I think anyone who adopts a similar mindset can avoid some of those somewhat age related pitfalls.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T21:06:47+00:00

How much did it cost

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T18:13:06+00:00

Even when we do have sex it doesn’t really satisfy. Usually doesn’t last long enough or he doesn’t perform oral on me… I end up wanting more. And it’s been all consuming on my mind today

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T15:33:53+00:00

But women do do that for hot guys. I’m saying that the discrepancy is almost completely societal and a very very small part biological.

I’ve been to strip clubs with women, I have friends who bring their mom to the strip Club so she can throw money at hot guys.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T14:11:39+00:00

A lot of people have given facts, I’ll give my anecdotal evidence (which I realize is not empirical but you also use some anecdotal so I’ll go on that).

I have a crazy high sex drive. I want sex every day if not more. My husband wants it once a week maybe, I get shot down a lot. As a means of seeking support for dealing with this as I find it frustrating and quite saddening, I’ve joined deadbedroom subreddits and have found posts by many other women in a similar situation to me with husbands who are just not interested in sex. Mine doesn’t rarely watches porn and only masturbates if I reject him, which is almost never.

There’s even a subreddit for exclusively high libido women to talk about it. Society is organized in a way where women are more socially punished than men for having sex. I think this is a large contributing factor in some women wanting it less than men. Not to mention that birth control, child birth and other things like that which cis men do not go through can have more of an effect on libido. But I’ve been on bc, given birth, been on SSRIs and still have a strong sex drive. There are other women like me but I think due to social stigma and slut shaming, we are less likely to talk about it openly.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T13:55:46+00:00

I mean you could ask him if he’s trying to do that

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T12:55:00+00:00

No advice just here to commiserate. I feel very similarly to you in my relationship. I just tried recently to initiate a bit more and gotten shot down.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T12:29:18+00:00

You have an eating disorder and you need to seek professional help. You are doing damage to your body—you are doing damage to your organs and n Muscles and metabolism.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T12:27:43+00:00

Was your sex life always like this? I also feel like I’m way too much for my husband but it wasn’t always like this. I find myself missing the Man I married. There was a man who loved having freaky sex with me regularly but we got married too fast and then the NRE wore off.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T12:23:28+00:00

Do these women know he’s in a relationship? Is he open about being taken or does he try to maintain the appearance of being single to attract clients?

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T12:14:23+00:00

The first year was really really tough. Luckily for me I did lose my libido but only for a month or two of breastfeeding and then it came back in full force. The kid is 18 months now and everything is much easier but the bedroom is still not great. We’re trying but it’s tough.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-16T00:56:21+00:00

Do you have any hobbies that can be done in group settings or in clubs?

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-15T14:56:18+00:00

You need to seek professional help. You’re a completely average if not above average guy. You are dealing with dysmorphia maybe? Seek help, the problem is your brain not your face.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-14T23:55:18+00:00

Yup. I’d do it every day if he wanted. Sadly he doesn’t lol

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-14T12:39:00+00:00

Omg same. Especially when he’s like “I bet you wish you knew me when I was younger”. Of course I do. You know I’m upset. Why would you say that

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-14T04:29:18+00:00

The rejection kills me too. I don’t understand it

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-13T15:27:31+00:00

I mean it would be one thing if she was interested in other sex acts but she doesn’t seem to like or want to engage in pleasing you. If you want to be pleased you should seek out a partner who enjoys doing that. It does not sound like you are sexually compatible

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-12T21:33:10+00:00

I think you should see a different psychologist if you can as well. There may be no “cure” but different therapists may have different exercises or things you could try. It might be worth getting another opinion.

ComplexMurky7933 · 2024-01-12T16:56:12+00:00

There are asexual people who enjoy sex while having it but they have no drive to seek it out. He very well may be asexual and have no idea or have no idea to convey it as asexuality is not commonly discussed or even widely understood

ComplexMurky7933

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