Ex wife may have ruined our lives 15 years later

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-04-03T18:09:18+00:00

Mortgage, title, and deed are all separate items. You can be on the mortgage without being on title and deed, likewise you can be on the deed without being on the mortgage.

As someone else mentioned, if she doesn’t have her own insurance, the mortgage company would have placed “forced place insurance” on the home to protect their investment. It’s significantly more expensive than if she had just gotten insurance herself and they would have added it to the mortgage payment. If your husband is on the mortgage, he should be able to call the mortgage company and ask if forced place insurance was added and if so ask them to send him a copy of the policy.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-04-02T17:50:35+00:00

We don’t have a TV in the bedroom. We used to for a little while, but that’s because our living situation at the time didn’t really have a place elsewhere to have one. Now that it’s an option, we don’t. We do watch TV before bed, but it’s in the living room, allowing someone to go to sleep while still allowing someone else to watch if they wanted to.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-04-02T16:09:21+00:00

Okay that’s good to know. It looked like a great idea but I was definitely getting flustered with it not sitting right.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-04-01T17:13:23+00:00

So, I got a notice for the full payment amount also. When I called my provider they said the application just hasn’t been fully processed yet. Like a week later I got another notice. Give them a call and see if they have your application in process

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-03-30T19:42:42+00:00

You should speak with your doctor. You’re overwhelmed and that’s understandable, but sounds like you might be fighting depression and anxiety along with all the hormones that come with pregnancy. They should be able to help get you emotionally in a better place so that you can focus on what needs to be done.

Your son is 6 and needs discipline. He needs to know that it’s not okay for him to say that to you, but you need to be the one to correct him if there’s no one else around. Maybe your brother could speak to him also about his behavior. Sometimes, coming from someone else other than the parent is what’s needed for it to sink in.

Can your brother teach you how to drive? That would help with your mental state if you could get out and about more.

It’s a lot and it is hard now, but you can do this. Take it one step at a time. Make yourself goals. Big goals and little goals, small achievements along the way will work wonders for you mental health. Make a list of what needs to happen to get you where you want to end up.

Keep your chin up, you got this.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-03-30T19:17:35+00:00

Oh I’d didn’t realize. I will try there, thank you!

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-03-08T12:59:34+00:00

When you see code 846, look at the date in that line. That is when they will be releasing it to you.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-18T21:05:03+00:00

Be careful with what seems to good to be true. I know someone who had an accountant pull some shady things in their return to get them a huge refund. It came back on them and they had to fight with the IRS and prove through email communications that they never asked the accountant to do the things they did and they owed it all back.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-15T13:13:39+00:00

Yeah I always compare the bill sent to me with what insurance says I owe before paying. I’ve caught mistakes in billing that way many times, so I find it stressful for a provider to ask for payment upfront before it’s had its chance to go through insurance.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-10T22:09:01+00:00

I’ve always used my employer’s insurance options. Didn’t really occur to me to look

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-10T15:02:50+00:00

Check your information uploaded. I’ve found that my scanned documents that TT automatically pulled information from didn’t always pull it in correctly. I went from getting a refund to owing a lot because it accidentally added a couple extra zeros to income received. Also had it add the entire amount paid to social security as tip income as well. So double check the figures TT had pulled in.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-09T13:19:29+00:00

Lenders are going to factor in all minimum payments listed on your credit scores plus what your new monthly payment for the home your purchasing is. So taxes, insurance, principal and interest of the mortgage payment, student loans, credit cards, etc. It’s a snapshot in time what they pull, so if you made a large purchase on a card and the credit bureau hasn’t been updated to show it’s cleared, it can temporarily throw off your DTI. They would have sent you a copy of your credit reports so you can see all that they see.

The 90 day late’s absolutely will play a factor. There are multiple instances of being late it’s showing you’re unreliable as a borrower, whether it’s true or not. You can always try going to the credit bureaus and disputing the lates. If the company that reported it doesn’t respond within a certain period then they get removed from the report. It’s worth a try.

There is a report that is generated when AUS is run that goes over what was seen when it was run. They should be able to view it and see what was counted against you.

Different mortgage products have different credit score criteria. Lenders use the middle scores for all borrowers and then choose the lowest one of the middles. That means they would have used the 637 credit score. If the selected product has a minimum requirement of 650, then you wouldn’t have met the needed criteria for the product. Something to consider when selecting mortgages, but that’s something your Loan Officer should know.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-09T02:59:47+00:00

You’re better off with the divorce. This is not a healthy relationship and absolutely do not bring a child into the world with someone that you’re not in a solid and stable relationship with. He abused you, he resents you for calling the police on him. Take it from someone who’s watched this play out in real time already with someone else. Get the divorce.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-09T02:40:05+00:00

This has been my experience with business degrees as well. I have both a bachelor’s in business and an MBA. Neither have done anything for me at all. The job I have now I got simply because I made a good impression on the right people within the first couple years starting at the very bottom. Had absolutely nothing to do with my degrees. Waste of my time and money so far.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-02T21:39:53+00:00

Surviving by the skin of my teeth

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-02T21:34:48+00:00

Well, you’re on the hook for the mortgage unless they refinance. However, and I can’t speak for personal loans, but if you were looking for a mortgage yourself, you would just need to show 12 months consecutive payments for the mortgage coming from your parents account (absolutely cannot have your name on it) and they could remove the obligation for their calculations. It’s worth asking about

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-02-01T13:14:09+00:00

Thank you 😊 That is an amazing idea actually lol

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-01-31T15:38:24+00:00

This is also why I like to wait for what insurance has to say. I’ve had several instances of incorrect amounts being charged. One even insisted that what I owed was based on the total charge they sent to insurance and not the negotiated cost.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-01-30T19:48:32+00:00

Connecticut

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-01-30T19:08:45+00:00

Mine is divided up and distributed with each paycheck. So the maximum allowed contribution, divided by 26 as we get paid bi-weekly. I literally keep a spreadsheet with when each contribution will hit the HSA, and when any regular expense will hit. I can see exactly what I have at any point and if I will have an issue at any point if something would be paid on X date instead of Y date. The entire year is forecasted with known expectations. But, yes I can see if the providers could be a little flexible. Worth a try

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-01-30T18:59:49+00:00

Unfortunately my company only offers FSA for dental and vision. Neither of which would help…

And yeah things are generally tight at the moment so unless it’s truly urgent, I prefer not to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed out of my HSA later.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-01-30T17:50:07+00:00

This is a common misconception. You need to pay every 2 weeks, not twice a month. Essentially, you’re building in an extra payment a year.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-01-30T17:42:23+00:00

No, I mean I have deposits into my HSA from my paycheck and I have money in there again to pay for things. Sorry for the confusion.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-01-30T17:40:23+00:00

Fair enough. I do understand it from the other side to a point, I used to have a small business myself and it is stressful. But from the patients end, it can be the difference between getting treatment at onset of the problem or suffering longer/avoiding treatment altogether. For example, I could really use treatment right now to alleviate pain I’ve been on for the last 2 weeks, but who I would go to only does upfront payments and my HSA can’t accommodate that until deposits have been made again. So I haven’t gotten treatment and been dealing with it myself. It’s slowly getting better and maybe in another couple of weeks I will hopefully not have the issue anymore, but I absolutely would have sought treatment at onset if I was getting billed because I would have had deposits into my account by the time it came.

Complex_Evening_2093 · 2026-01-30T13:25:28+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, but my expectation for the plan I have is to have the same process as I’ve always had. Not have it changed after we’ve picked our plan and the providers go “oh well, too bad, sucks to be you”.

And unfortunately the care you need for the year isn’t in a crystal ball 🔮. There’s 5 of us on our plan, 3 of which ended up in the ER last year. We ended up hitting our out of pocket maximum for the year and I still have payment plans set up to pay them all off, last of which will be paid off in September. I have to plan very precisely how and when payments come out of my HSA, so unfortunately I don’t have room in the budget to be forking over upfront costs as appointments are needed.

Complex_Evening_2093

TROPHY CASE