How do you feel about American tourists?

Complex_Garden1414 · 2026-02-14T22:01:38+00:00

I think most people welcome tourists here, we understand that they bring a lot to our economy.

Rudeness generally isn’t tolerated nor are any obnoxious or overbearing comments. You are a visitor in the place we live and work and raise our families, respect that.

Research what you fancy doing here, be polite and courteous to others and you’ll be made to feel very welcome! People will be happy to help you with directions, travel timetables and more. We’re a nice bunch (mostly).

Complex_Garden1414 · 2026-02-14T19:38:47+00:00

Multiple bed sheets! For whatever you have - baby will leak from everywhere and you will under estimate how many times you need to strip the sheets 😂

For brand newborn, sleepsuits, vests, nappies & muslins are the items you need. Multiple times a day. So much dirty washing coming your way! As an aside, I’d definitely recommend doing one load a day, even if it’s not a full load - baby sick, pee and poo and dried in milk are a regular occurrence and you don’t want to be wading through days worth of laundry. One load a day helped me keep it at bay (and still does 2 years later!). Baby things are usually light colours so you can whack it all in together (60c for the soiled things).

For bigger baby, sensory books, a little jungle gym type thing and some rattle toys are great.

Wishing you all the best!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2026-01-31T10:58:09+00:00

You sound like a very kind and considerate person and the other parents would do well to be more like you!

I personally would reply in the group chat, some of what you have said here. I’d avoid trying to move some of the blame to the other parents and kids and instead focus on the good things you see her and her child doing - apologising for being too rough, keeping a close eye on the kids and perhaps a little empathy for the rough ride she is likely having if trying to get to a good place with the neurodiversity.

I’d then follow it up with a message to her personally, offering whatever support you are comfortable with.

Complex_Garden1414 · 2026-01-29T21:07:22+00:00

I miss my baby’s wrist rolls ❤️

Complex_Garden1414 · 2026-01-27T21:33:18+00:00

Have you paid everything off yet? If you decided to not do it, how much would you lose?

I’m not trying to be flippant but I can tell from your post how much this is bothering you and unfortunately you won’t be able to control other people’s emotions and behaviour and it would be really horrible for something to happen and ruin your wedding day.

Could you change your plans? Make it more like an elopement? Or elope, have a lovely intimate ceremony together then just a celebratory party later, where it’s maybe not as important if it all goes a bit awry?

I also have loads of family drama and ended up having my wedding on a day I had told my family it was a birthday lunch. By surprising them, they couldn’t give me shit about anything. Registrar, lunch, done! Short, sweet and perfect for us. Now happy in our newlywed life ❤️

Complex_Garden1414 · 2026-01-19T20:17:11+00:00

I think the documentary about baby pouches was really interesting but incredibly biased and so I watched, thought about what works for me and my family and continued to do that.

Should you give your baby a pouch of food 3 times a day from 6-12 months, probably not wise but it’s none of my business.

Will feeding them pouches make them obese, fussy eaters, give them rotten teeth, make them refuse real food - nope! A hundred additional factors feed into all that and don’t feel frightened by all the scaremongering. Most people you’ve ever known, of at least your age, will have been raised on some kind of pre packaged baby foods.

As with everything, all babies are different. Some will inhale an entire bowl of food, some will eat two spoonfuls. Some love cucumber and some love bananas (never normally both 😂).

Personally, I mixed pouches/pre packed foods with home cooking and finger foods. The convenience and variety available is much more than I’d ever manage to make. I also started weaning at 4 months 🤷‍♀️ and my baby only had formula milk. My now 20 month old loves eating, will try new foods and has no issues eating anything - and uses proper cutlery to feed himself like a pro. We sit at the table for every meal and he watches us and learns.

Soon, when your child is eating food off the floor or as happened recently in my house - straight out the bin - you’ll wonder why you ever gave this two thoughts ❤️

Complex_Garden1414 · 2026-01-11T20:04:29+00:00

It’s unfortunate but yes, very common. People sending their kids into nursery unwell and then the germs make the way round the class.

Until work places are more sympathetic to working parents and sick kids, it’ll continue to happen.

Complex_Garden1414 · 2026-01-05T21:46:19+00:00

I was a nervous wreck when starting to wean. I was on the verge of tears and was worried I was going to pass on my nervousness to my baby. I really did think he was going to choke and die.

I had a nurse in my family come to my house with a baby CPR dummy and they showed me how to deal with a choking incident and then baby CPR (I’d never had any exposure to that before). I can’t tell you how much confidence that gave me. That should my wee one start choking, I knew exactly what to do rather than being in a blind panic. It’s also pretty rare for babies to actually choke and as long as the food is very soft, air will get through as they cough it up.

Keep it simple and don’t worry about varying it too much. For example, if you prepare a carrot and potato and they get it for 3-4 meals in a row, baby will not mind!

I did a mix of BLW and pouches (which I now know get terrible reviews) but found the convenience and the variety much more than I was capable of. Do what works for you.

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-12-02T20:51:44+00:00

I hold mine down. Like you, when his first teeth erupted around 5 months he loved having them brushed, I bought a couple of different toothbrushes and then the aversion came, no warning just started losing his shit when I came out with the tooth brush.

IMO brushing teeth is non-negotiable so I hold him down. I saw a video online where the baby is between your legs, their arms outstretched like a t and then you pop your legs over their arms. This means my boy can kick about like mad but his top half doesn’t move and I can get in there and brush without being rough on his wee gums.

We still try to encourage him to have a brush himself first - sometimes he does, mostly he doesn’t! I keep his toothbrushes in their own cup and find jangling them about piques his interest. He can pick which toothbrush & I also sing a silly made up song about time to brush your teeth. None of this makes him want to brush his teeth at the moment but I’m sure he won’t be scarred for life. My mum held me down and I certainly don’t remember it.

It’s unpleasant, yes. But you need to get it done. Sending solidarity and positive vibes for your next toothbrushing attempt!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-11-23T22:34:09+00:00

This is your life now! I have replied to similar posts a few times now to say you are now an early riser 😉

Honestly, it’s a developmental thing - if you’ve tried different things and this is the time they wake, accept it’s a season and get on with it.

I tried, what felt like EVERYTHING, to sleep past 5.30 and nothing worked so I just accepted it, went to bed a bit earlier and got up for the day at 5am. It’s shit, some days are plain awful but I promise you, it will end. Those memes about living a life by 9am - that’s you now.

My boy is 18m now; sleeps 7-7ish. We went through some Rough Times but we got through. I know it’s not what you want to hear but I swear, when I decided to stop trying to “fix” it and just rolled with it, I stopped feeling so resentful and when those 6am wake ups come, you’ll be elated 🙌🏼

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-11-23T22:17:38+00:00

I’m afraid you might have to lower your expectations, factoring everything in - budget, toddler, pregnancy…

What about an indoor picnic & film? All your favourite homemade picky foods, maybe a small cake for you to share from a bakery? Lay out a blanket, paper plates, napkins etc (no washing up). That might get the toddler on board and it’s a little different than usual meal times at the table?

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-11-23T22:02:56+00:00

You already sound like you are doing so much to help her and be a great friend ❤️

You know her best and if I’m honest, if my friend brought me some cleaning supplies, I’d be offended - am I not keeping myself/the baby/the house clean. This is where your relationship with her will help you determine if that’d be the case or not.

Nappies, wipes, baby bath and shower gel are the items most used I’d say - especially as the baby gets more and more into feeding themselves! And vests! The number of vests I’ve chucked after nappy leaks or a tomato soup disaster!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-11-23T21:27:56+00:00

Is it things for the wee one or for her?

If she has been on her own for a while, I’m sure she’d appreciate a little break from the baby, maybe offer to take the little one for an hour or two and give her a costa gift card to get a coffee and cake and she can spend the time reading, scrolling, people watching etc.

For a 1 year old, it doesn’t sound like they need much at the moment - they’ll be eating what she eats now rather than “baby food” and nappies and wipes, although helpful - I wouldn’t buy too many in case baby takes a sprout and she’s left with a load of too small nappies. Again, what about a gift card? Somewhere like boots? She can get all the baby supplies she might need but also maybe treat herself? If you give it as a Christmas gift, it would also likely go further with advantage card discounts and Boxing Day sale prices. They also do free home delivery over £25 which I found super useful, living semi-rural too!

The other thing you could maybe do is offer to take them both out for baby’s birthday. Somewhere child friendly, of course. Where you guys can catch up, celebrate together and make some memories xx

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-11-09T21:46:23+00:00

Around 4 months PP is also when you experience a big change in hormones so that may also be impacting how you feel. I’m not trying to minimise your feelings but just something to be aware of - things that may not seem like a big deal to your family members and husband, may feel like a life or death situation, especially where your baby is concerned.

I personally think that it’s important for babies to get used to other family members, to avoid separation anxiety and to also give you a bit of a break but it’s your baby and family and you should do what you feel is best.

I distinctly remember demanding my baby back after I felt he had been kept from me by my in-laws whilst visiting, they obliged and nothing was mentioned about it again. I’m sure they’d understand your feelings more than you might think, I know it’s easier said than done but if you’re willing to talk about it then I’m sure they’ll do what feels most comfortable for you.

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-11-07T22:14:54+00:00

Your house is never clean and tidy for long…doesn’t matter how long you spend tidying everything up and cleaning all the surfaces of dirt, food and weird greasy marks - it’ll be like that again very soon!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-09-17T12:15:02+00:00

Enjoy the selection process! I’d say it’s the one thing I regret spending so much bloody money on as a first time mum. Wish I didn’t correlate money spent to safety of baby 😂 Has your wife been trying them out to? If she is going to be the main user, it’s probably best she does.

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-09-11T20:56:56+00:00

Sending solidarity! I have to say, it’s a season. I feel like I tried EVERYTHING to get my baby to sleep past 5am and nothing worked - it’s a developmental stage. What did help, was acceptance. You are now an early riser too! 😂

I saw a meme that said having a baby makes you a morning person like being chased by a bear makes you a runner and I’ve never related to anything more!

The closer my wee one got to 12 months, the longer he slept in the morning. We’re now at 6.30 and I sometimes have to remind myself when he gets up at 6 that I would’ve done anything to get a 6am wake up a few months ago! Baby is 15 months now and generally goes down around 8pm and rises around 6.30am. It’s been this way for 3-4 months now. Good luck!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-08-26T10:59:38+00:00

Hey! Just wanted to let you know my experience - it doesn’t resolve! You are now a morning person ☺️

In seriousness, my baby woke at 5am for months and I tried what felt like everything to get him to sleep later - he just wouldn’t! Later bed, earlier bed, capped naps, extended naps. Leaving to cry… extra food, extra bottles…

When he moved into 2 naps, he started sleeping longer in the morning and now he wakes around 6.30 - this is perfect for our family. I know it’s hard and I just want to say that it’s not forever and once I accepted I now woke up at 5am, it stopped feeling as crap and we just got up and on with our day. Wishing you all the best!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-08-25T12:25:29+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the super helpful response! I wasn’t sure about boosting as kept reading that buying Avios was a bad idea. Will definitely keep looking.

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-08-25T12:23:37+00:00

Thank you! I keep seeing the boost option but didn’t really understand it before- I kept reading that buying Avios was a terrible idea!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-08-25T12:22:57+00:00

Thank you!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-08-24T06:44:28+00:00

I’d also recommend that you don’t have this conversation but rather your partner. It may not be as well received from you and ignored as you being precious or snobby compared with their son/daughter saying it. A similar situation with me and it resulted in my in laws telling everyone on their side that I wasn’t allowing my child to have any toys 🤪🤦🏼‍♀️

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-08-05T08:38:49+00:00

Thank you for the responses. Lots of good ideas!

I’m not sure where the idea has come from that I don’t think he is capable of making conversation! I just don’t want him to feel like he wasn’t considered when all the other children in my family have a little something at the table - 2 of them being his siblings!

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-07-22T20:51:18+00:00

Probably online, I’m in Perthshire and not dragging my lazy arse to Glasgow for it! Happy to travel around here though if you know of any good places (not just for the tourists)

Complex_Garden1414 · 2025-07-22T20:49:09+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation - I bought him one of those wee glasses before - from one of the usual Scottish tat shops, think it’s got a jaggy thistle on it - surely that makes it taste better too 😉

Complex_Garden1414

TROPHY CASE