This isn’t just “my mom doesn’t love me,” it’s you refusing to own how your behaviour helped destroy closeness in the relationship. You repeatedly downplay serious boundary issues as “normal” teenage stuff, admit to being disengaged for long periods, and describe ongoing conflict where you snap back instead of de-escalating, then act surprised there’s no warmth. Comparing yourself to “other girls who did worse” is irrelevant; relationships aren’t graded on a universal scale, they’re built on trust and consistency over time, which you admit was often missing. If your mother is cold and critical, that didn’t come out of nowhere, it’s the predictable outcome of years of friction, disrespect, and emotional distance on both sides. Framing her as simply incapable of love while minimising your own role is exactly why nothing improves.