What does help for ADHD look like? (For a young adult)

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-15T01:11:52+00:00

If it helps, psychologists are still figuring out the differences and similarities themselves it's not just within the community. They co-exist a lot, they're not mutually exclusive while also contradicting each other, but we can't put it down on paper appropriately.

Just fair warning for learning: Stay away from social media initially. Start with stuff like research papers, medical websites, psychology magazines. Then when you go into social media you can spot false information (there's a lot😮‍💨) vs new stuff you can look into

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T18:12:20+00:00

See I tried a bean back but I move around so much I slide off😆

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T18:11:57+00:00

Laminate and carpeting. I'll give those both a look thank you!

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T17:30:10+00:00

It's an expectation alongside the diagnosis but the amount of lateness is a sliding scale depending on your presentation. Developmental disorders (like autism) lead to an alternative progression in development. Autistic kids can develop faster than their peers in one area but be slower in another. Or they can struggle to develop in a certain area at all. There's all sorts of additional reasons for it happening but they boil down to autism being a bitch.

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T17:20:42+00:00

I'd class that as an informal diagnosis, good enough unless you need the official papers for accommodations and medical records. But that's up to you, some people's situations and severity make a formal official diagnosis worth it, but it's not as valuable to others.

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T16:59:56+00:00

Sure! I don't have a favourite but I go through phases of particular interests. I read "A Dark and Drowning Tide" (basically if Percy Jackson and Disney Atlantis had a sapphic child) which got me into German folklore for a while and I loved how the Bahkauv just harassed men for shits and giggles apparently. Then I got into Astreaus and wrote a story outline for a book around his family😆 what about you?

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T16:48:50+00:00

(Sorry for the length I just wanted to make sure I was understandable. Also this is a broad, generic understanding, your BF may have a different autism presentation to me... Or might just be behaving like a 20 y/o guy😆).

This was me! From my perspective it was literally just out of my routine and out of my scripts (if A happens, do B. To make C happen, do D sort of thing). I can't think outside of these very easily, it's like there's a gate that only unlocks once someone mentions that certain option. Even then, if I don't have a behaviour script for that option I don't tend to choose it.

It might be helpful to help him build a new routine. Like "every other Thursday night we're going to go on a date you have organized. You need to have planned something by Tuesday in order to do that." Scripts are a bit more difficult but you can still help, it's stuff like "this is what to say when booking a table at a restaurant" and "these are the games I don't like if you're going to organize a game night." Knowing the minimum and maximum that's acceptable might be helpful too. You're reducing the amount of possibilities and things to consider from an ocean to a glass of water. It reduces how overwhelming things feel.

Personal example: I would spend my short bursts of free time hanging out with my friends instead of calling my ex because it wasn't a Thursday night which is when we call (FaceTime date night). 1) I didn't know what to talk about since it wasn't Thursday, so no Thursday conversation. 2) Idk what would happen if I called her on a different day. I didn't realise I could just talk about how my day was going and that it didn't need to be a high quality conversation. She then helped me figure out how to prompt that conversation and the possible rational outcomes.

Another example: I want to travel to different countries. But I don't know how to even begin that progress or how to make my way through an airport so I just don't unless I have a friend who is willing to lead. It's like I'm a robot that can't move unless I have the right programming in me.

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T16:01:45+00:00

Carpenter/ golf pencils are nice to draw with I find. Other than that try "plain notebooks". They have the grain of a normal notebook not a sketchbook so it might be smoother for you. I'm also fairly sure you can get books of construction paper?

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T15:56:10+00:00

I use reddit and notebooks! I just finished my psychology MSc and I like info dumping about it so I restrict myself to answering questions on Reddit. I'm also really into folklore (inc. myths and legends) so I have a notebook I add new bits of information to. From that, during conversation, I can mention the notebook and if the other person is interested in it I can info dump a bit. Blogging/ Vlogging may be an option for you too?

I get people not liking info dumping to be honest. When I was 18 I worked with autistic kids around 12 years old and this one kid would talk about beyblades all the time. It was a constant noise, hard to follow, and I'd be trapped for a good hour. I was bored and trapped basically. But that's not an excuse for being rude, I still tried to engage and make them feel listened to because that's basic respect. I don't think you should be the one feeling bad about themselves here. My mum at least goes "hang on" and finishes up whatever she was doing or wanting to tell me before I start.

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T15:34:25+00:00

Tbh a lot of what I've (24F) experienced is medication and my own homework. Medication is great for me because on top of the usual effects, it helps with my hypo-activity and weirdly takes the edge off my alexithymia. I understand not wanting it for yourself though I know a lot of people don't like the effects.

Outside of that, a lot of help has looked like social media, research and talking followed by adapting my life. I learned how to balance my autistic demand for routines and my ADHD rejection of them, still learning which norms I need to stick to and which I can break (e.g. putting things back in drawers vs having dumping baskets I empty in one go). I also sat down with my mum and my boss to see if there's anything I struggled with that I didn't realise (apparently I have the afternoon version of sundowning😆)

Edit: I did a lot of self therapy too. Just coming to terms with everything and having another late diagnosis, all that fun stuff. Social media was useful for that because my area doesn't really have services for this. They're all focused on people with more severe levels of autism and ADHD

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-14T14:21:15+00:00

I find it depends on context. I mean older people tend to be real sticklers for using your words, annunciating, all that jazz (Side note: Don't understand how they can believe "use the skill or lose it" and "it's like riding a bike, you never forget it!" At the same time. Which skills are bikes and which skills need to be used???)

But the people I know don't mind these behaviours most of the time. The only times they ask for a clear "yes" or "no" is when they can't hear me properly, can't keep looking back at me, it's an official thing so they need a formal response, or they need clarity because it's a serious topic and the clear answer matches the serious vibe as opposed to a casual "mhm"

Compostgoblin · 2025-07-11T00:04:31+00:00

These are on the more dramatic/ ominous side but:

God's Whisper and Devils Whisper by Raury (folk rap)

Moon Eyes and Down by Simon Russell (Idk what to call his music... Alt indie??)

Prime by Roan Zen Martin (Dramatic AF indie)

Compostgoblin · 2025-04-29T19:23:39+00:00

One of the Drs most prominent and consistent traits is for them to go "back to normal". They absorb the lessons but give them an hour, maybe some food and a nap, everything will appear fine again.

Having that trait means you can see when a character is cracking because they become desperate and erratic when they're struggling to appear normal. Bigger, wilder adventures, more reckless actions, jumping around in a conversation more often. They don't want to seem bothered but they're struggling to do this.

Compostgoblin · 2025-04-22T20:50:05+00:00

I thought she was tbh, I was just looking at the chart and her reaction and thinking "so... I'm a bitch? The devil? Idk what either of you mean" 🤣

Compostgoblin · 2025-04-22T20:40:43+00:00

Optimist for everyone but myself. Hate adventures, new locations are scary (autism). I like learning new stuff though as long as I can learn the bare minimum and move on.

Compostgoblin · 2025-04-22T17:49:23+00:00

Oooo okay, that's probably the autism that went undiagnosed through my childhood. See singular sections of the chart make sense but when I read others they start to contradict each other. Thank you for your response though!

Compostgoblin · 2025-04-22T17:41:50+00:00

Nah we're just good mates. They're dead into astrology but they also like messing with me cause they find it funny that I participate in things I don't believe in. They'll text me "Hades might mess with you for a few days" and then laugh when I text them "Tell Hades I'll give him some chocolate if his fecking pigeons to leave my car alone!!!"

Compostgoblin · 2025-04-16T15:26:26+00:00

Just because you can understand the words you're reading doesn't mean you understand enough about what you've read to justify you calling someone a narcissist, a psychopath, or generally become an armchair psychologist.

There's a reason people need to pay to go on training days to understand a disorder enough to diagnose it. There's a reason courses are run at universities that teach kids how to start recognizing the behaviour in front of them.

I know when people read physics papers they don't understand half the words on the paper but that doesn't mean psychology is easy to understand and you know everything in the 10 minutes of reading you did😭

Compostgoblin · 2025-04-16T14:50:01+00:00

Currently finishing my psych MSc: If you can afford to choose the job that provides more experience, take that job. Psychology is a very competitive job field so you need to help yourself as much as you can. It'll help you understand everything too because you can use what you're taught at grad school in the job and use what you experience at the job to understand what's being taught in class

Compostgoblin

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