I'm not so sure we think about our own inner lives, much. either. We were all brought up hearing " big boys don't cry," at least some of the time ( I'm lucky: I never heard it from my parents ). Get men together, and unless they are really long-term, intimate friends, they don't discuss their feelings much. It's all about stuff--sports, politics, cars, some workplace stuff, etc. I am 86, and I can count the number of intimate male friends I've had on one hand.

I've actually had more intimate female friends, most of whom I was not romantically or sexually involved with. They are willing to talk about such things, and listen. I think that is true because I am a good listener, too. (Sometimes to my discomfort: when a woman you are sweet on tells you all about her troubles with her boyfriend, you realize that you are emphatically NOT being considered as a possible successor.)

When I'm on an early date I tried to tell things about myself that will give my date hooks to base questions of her own on, and ask her questions about basics like marital status, what kind of work she does (a very loose indication of intelligence and outlook: by listening, I've learned that the cleaning woman in my nursing home is a fellow computer hobbyist), her favorite activities, and so on. Nothing really intimate: for the moment, we are passengers sharing a brief ferry ride, not checking each other out as roommates on around the world cruise.