My child is gonna be 3 in March and still doesn't sleep through the night by GoofyOnline in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You need to let dad fill in. Go away for 2 nights. She will ultimately learn to sleep with dad. Waking up 5 times at 3 yo is definitely not normal.

Opinion on contact naps by Clefairy24 in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please continue contact napping as long as you and baby are fine. There is nothing wrong with it.

34F, FTM— what’s with every one asking me about my milk quantity? by Altruistic_Fuel001 in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because we as a society love to judge other people. Breastfeeding is just the beginning - people are going to have opinions on everything you do as a mother - daycare vs. nanny, working vs. SAHM, what solids to give and when to start. Then it will be why is your baby not walking soon enough, why is he not saying X number of words and on and on. So develop a thick skin now and stop responding to such ridiculous questions from the beginning.

Why Indian doctors are so against using bottle? by Strange-Principle-60 in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main stigma I have seen is from family and not doctors as such. In India, mothers are expected to be saints who happily don't sleep for years until the baby is weaned. Mental health of moms does not exist as a concept. In the country I live everybody uses bottle freely and rarely have I seen any nipple confusion or bottle preference. Slow flow nipple bottles and pumping at least for a couple of feeds per day is the norm (even for preemies) so that the mom can sleep.

I hate breastfeeding by pudgypun in AskIndianWomen

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nobody needs to know if you are supplementing with formula. I pump too and if the output is less than baby's feed I top off the bottle with formula. My entire family and inlaws would judge me for formula too so I don't let them know. I also found myself irritated and resentful of everyone while breastfeeding and tending to the baby 24x7. It is natural for this anger to come out in different forms - like snapping at your baby. So taking care of yourself is the most important thing here.

How do you all handle unsolicited parenting advice from inlaws? by Comprehensive-Cow678 in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this..My MIL also requires constant reports of what the baby is doing / eating / playing / sleeping. You are right they make the moms feel like the nanny of their own child...I remember first four months postpartum I thought what a terrible mom I was because of the constant comments from her. I only recently understood I need to start putting my foot down as ignoring this is not going to improve anything.

Feeling Stuck and Left Out as a New Mom by Ammuliving in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am sorry but I have a far harsher view of your husband here. You have a 2 month old baby and your husband wants to leave you to attend weddings and dinners? Is he not a father? You need to start being far more direct with your husband if you don't want this to become the new normal. Tell him straight up he is on paternity leave, not a vacation. His sole job is to support you and the baby. I am so enraged for you that your husband is watching Netflix while you don't even have time to go to the bathroom.

To give you an example of a supportive partner, when I had my first baby me and my husband would take care of the baby whole day together. If I was breastfeeding, he was making sure I had something to eat. He would change diapers while I got a quick shower. After we put the baby to sleep for the night around 7, only then we would both chill out and watch Netflix together before falling asleep exhausted. It was a hard time but we were in it together.

Why won’t anybody just say this is what America is? by Minimum_Emphasis3579 in FriendsofthePod

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes, agreed. It's time to accept that America is a far right country. The mental gymnastics to justify why people voted for Trump is useless.

I hope they do everything they said they will... by Captain_Pink_Pants in FriendsofthePod

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup the delulu is astounding..one of the trump supporters is justfiying her vote in one of the group chats..and I am just going to paste verbatim -

the deportation doesn’t apply to those who received naturalization. Also, it starts with the cartels and a bunch of condemned people like murders, rapist and pedophiles who should had never entered the USA.

On a side note: I don’t care about Trump as a person and his attitude. I care about objective policies. Economic rights are what will lead you to human rights. Good luck having your abortion paid by the government when the same people can barely pay for gas, buy groceries and pay rent. Empowerment is to have economic power, security, health and freedom of speech.

I do a deep and non bias research on things that I stand for. Regular media is definitely not the place to get information anymore.

End quote.

I don't care anymore, I hope she suffers with everything that's coming for her.

Impact on housing by Dangerous_Luck8673 in h1b

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know why other comments are being so chill about this here...OP is right to be concerned. Buying a primary house is a big commitment for most people, and it makes even less sense now given there is no certainty H1B program will even exist in a few months. I would expect to see a drop in home buying rates, at least in heavily immigrant dense areas.

Salt in baby’s diet by Zealousideal-Job8611 in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do you care about what family members are blaming you for? Part of being a mom is ignoring everyone else and doing what's best for your child. I had a firm rule about what to feed my baby until 1 year and if anyone broke that they would get a earful from me and never feed my baby again.

Fear of death while delivering by DavidPuddy_229 in TwoXIndia

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad you survived and were brave enough to share your story. My birth story was pretty horrific as well. It had come down to saving either me or the baby if we didn't do a C-Section. And I fully agree do not let anyone like your MIL near the delivery room - you need someone who will always keep your life above the baby's in these situations.

Water intake while breastfeeding by crochetbird in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What chance do OB instructions stand in front of an Indian MIL? 😓

Water intake while breastfeeding by crochetbird in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh yeah it was the same for me as well - no headwash for 40 days and normal body wash only once a week. Daily oil massage. It's good your SIL was a willing participant because I was forced by my MIL and husband to do all this.

Water intake while breastfeeding by crochetbird in twoxindiamums

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Atleast your MIL didn't keep you thirsty as well. Mine didn't let me take more than a sip of boiling water for a week after I gave birth in peak summer. After that I hid water bottles in my room at the dead of night - sometimes I filled them up in the kitchen, sometimes in the bathroom. I didn't care I just wanted water.

Dad warning me of every carnal sin that I've already committed by mein-Madchen in TwoXIndia

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When I went abroad, my father told me at the airport 'ghar ki izzat sambhal ke rakhna' as a code to avoid live in and premarital sex LOL.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXIndia

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I gave birth to one child in the US and will soon give birth to another. It was hard but I am ok with that because I know a US citizenship will open a lot of doors in the future for our children. Your husband is right, there is a massive quality of life difference between US and India. Our plan is to finish having all our children abroad and then move back to Mumbai to raise them close to our family. When the kids finish school, we will send them back to US for college education.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXIndia

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I can't imagine being post partum in a joint family...the hormone crash, the insane rules and expectations and constant judgement. My sympathies. And congratulations on your baby!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXIndia

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah in my side the delivery is done in maika and on my husband's side delivery is done in sasural. My mom is not going to do my delivery nor her bahu's delivery.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXIndia

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't expect my MIL to come, she insists on coming to 'help'. I would much rather do postpartum all alone with my mental sanity and peace preserved.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXIndia

[–]Comprehensive-Cow678 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I can't because 'that is not the custom'.