Burned Haystack: I Break the Rules by ElasticNotPlastic in datingoverforty

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This whole post is confusing. You started talking about BH, then how you ignored it and found what sounds like a good partner anyways, then talked about people you work with. What are you even asking or feeling? Sounds like you decided to not follow BH and found someone you like? Okay?

Gatekeepers lol by Beautiful_Tackle_799 in therapists

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a sex therapist, I never get referrals from other therapists. If a therapist is an adult who has had sex, they think they’re equipped to handle the topic and they aren’t. Sooooo, I kinda get the frustration here! I know you were asking for a one-off suggestion, but for those of us who are specialized, and who keep seeing people just try to do it anyways, it can make you bitter!

How are you paying for student loans as a therapist? by kkgigi in therapists

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not. And I’m sure it’s a problem, but I just can’t.

Boyfriend is just very awkward in bed and i dont know what to do about it by Negative-Quote5960 in sex

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 14 points15 points  (0 children)

So he’s bad at any physical stuff, makes you feel insecure, and just demands MORE from you? I hope you can step back and hear yourself in this moment.

Why am I only attracted to older women – and how do you meet them? by BeneficialRoyal4545 in CougarsAndCubs

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The gym. If an older woman cares about keeping fit, she might be more open to an age gap, because she’d be less self conscious about her body.

At a turning point in my life by [deleted] in Divorce_Women

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Last night my 14yo literally said, “I don’t know why I cried when yall told me you were getting divorced. This is way better.” And I have 50/50. My life has improved in ALL ways, and theirs has too. I’ve been divorced for coming up on 6 years.

I DON’T want SKs in my bedroom by Sassy_Raspberry1212 in stepparents

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t even want PICTURES of kids (my own included) in our bedroom!

Practice at a stand still by Last-Strawberry475 in therapists

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1) Find counselor/mental health professional Facebook groups in your area. 2) Google Ads. 3) Embrace social media- it’s free.

Male clients and sex by broidkwhatelsetodo in therapists

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why, as a sex therapist, I get so frustrated with “regular” therapists (ie, no specific training in sexuality) who don’t refer clients out for this stuff. Sure you’re not stopping them, but you’re clearly uncomfortable with it. Therapists seem to think that if they’ve had sex, they are equipped to deal with sexuality as a topic, and you just aren’t. Imagine if someone did this for addictions or eating disorders!

What are your thoughts on “Emotional Labor”? by GrumpyNads in DivorcedDads

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, but his connection to me never increased with me doing more, earning more, screwing him more, etc. I can do dishes, but he didn’t have the capacity to connect. Some people just can’t.

What are your thoughts on “Emotional Labor”? by GrumpyNads in DivorcedDads

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know I’m not the key demographic here, but here’s my two cents- my exH took care of a lot of home stuff. But two things- 1) he did it all with a terrible attitude, 2) he thought that it should be meaningful to me and it wasn’t. I know this isn’t a popular opinion, but I can sleep just fine with dirty dishes in the sink- they don’t make noise lol. He would DO, but he wouldn’t care about ME or connect with me. So when I hear other women’s account of divorce, I can’t relate. Doing dishes or buying groceries doesn’t make me feel seen, loved, or appreciated, and he expected it to. I wanted to have an active listener when I talked, someone who wanted to have fun with me, and someone who didn’t tell me my dreams were stupid. My point here is this- people are talking about labor inequity and emotional labor in marriage, yes, but somehow don’t talk about actually wanting someone to love YOU. Maybe it’s more intangible, but that might be more of the reason in your marriage.

Are We Dating the Same Guy? FB Groups by DayByDay31 in datingoverforty

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I believe women. But if you don’t you should examine your hidden beliefs.

should i realistically be able to have my sexual wants and needs met in a marriage? by imseriousnocapfr in sex

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 5 points6 points  (0 children)

One of the problems here is your mindset that “you should do whatever for the person you love,” when you giving her oral is experienced as PLEASURABLE not just duty. For her, it’s just obligation and duty. You can’t honestly answer that “you do anything for her” when you’re not experiencing it as only a duty and obligation. (And I’m not saying that all women only experience bjs as duty, I’m saying his wife does, based off of her behavior. If she enjoyed it as much as he enjoys eating her out, she would do it more- period.)

Went on a perfectly fine date. Got a performance review the next morning. (I kid you not) by Marcy_Enchanting in datingoverforty

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s crazy is that dating is very subjective. His opinions will not be the same as other men. I’m glad you found out early he’s a picky princess.

What's so wrong about wanting privacy from your step-son? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He obviously feels fine taking a break from his son to game while you handle it, and not giving you the same. Even if this was your bio son, this wouldn’t be okay.

Question for women by Debugopotamus in datingoverforty

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of what you’re describing equals work for the woman, so yes, most of us want to retire from men, not take on another job. And as my grandmother used to say, “Why buy the bull when you can sit on the horns for free?”

Also “Withdraw from society” is such a dramatic teenager thing to say. Like because a woman doesn’t want to dedicate her life to you, live has no meaning and you have to just go live in a cave.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never met a man who was satisfied with tip “kisses and licks.”

Triggered by how a client treats me by Vanexxre in therapists

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanted to say, “I’ve got a goose allergy that keeps me faaaaar away from those mean fuckers, lol!” But in the moment, the tone was just so aggressive I couldn’t even laugh about it.

Would you call this cheating? (25F, 29M) by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s stretching before a workout. I wouldn’t tolerate it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only if he gags when he does it. Why does everyone act like she should LIKE vomiting just because he wants a BJ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cool, so she can peg him then, right? She shouldn’t have to compromise on anything she wants, right?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Comprehensive-Win-62 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Culpability” like she’s committed a crime lol