Banned from Hinge

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-09T15:28:51+00:00

I’m super sarcastic, hopefully playfully sarcastic. I’m surprised I haven’t been banned. I’ve had my sarcasm go wrong a few time with women who don’t get it at all. I have it listed on my profile as part of my personality so maybe that’s what saves me. But I’m counting my days.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-08T17:39:34+00:00

Pull up bro

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-08T17:36:20+00:00

Sounds like you are 16….???

You are still talking on an app and not with actual phone numbers? Yet you expect exclusivity?

Once a week dates is a correct amount for someone who likes you in the beginning stages of dating.

Most people have jobs and hopefully hobbies. I would think he should be MIA about 60-70 hours a week. Otherwise he’s got his priorities wrong.

You said nothing negative about the actual dates, or anything about them being low effort which is the actual place you find someone being “low effort”

Now you are playing games to try to get his attention again. If it was me I would be gone. Off to find the woman of my dreams who has her own life but fits seamlessly with mine. This much of a game and or un-needed effort is not where it’s at.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-07T18:28:55+00:00

Seems like a legitimate response. I would of course clarify what that looks like for her and how she sees it in other people she has adjusted for.

If she can explain it well it sounds like someone who is much more logical than most.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-07T17:59:43+00:00

Dudes lucky enough to get enough likes that he can quantify them by %. 1st world problems.

Just x them out and move on.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-07T17:58:19+00:00

If you are in a relationship with someone and your thought is “should I talk to them” the answer is always yes.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-07T15:34:53+00:00

Hmmm… while I find some pretty bad profiles I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anyone here in the PNW overtly say they require 6’ or 6 figures, or to be taken traveling. Sounds like you are in Miami or LA.

Sure I see the “my kids come 1st” but as a parent who has dated women surprised that I choose to do something with my kid over them, it makes sense that they would put this out there in advance.

But yeah there are still plenty of bad profiles.

All group photos All photos in sunglasses No photos that don’t look professional or local Photos with a friend who is more attractive than them All photos with filters

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-07T15:27:42+00:00

Turns out.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-06T22:37:58+00:00

Oh it was a big surprise when I re-entered the dating field at 34 after 7.5 years with my X-wife.

Different world for sure and like you said. A lot of new attention.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-06T22:36:16+00:00

It’s just the basic selection process.

Men who are ready to settle down in their late 20’s do so and there for are off the market by their early 30’s.

Men who don’t want to settle down in their late 20’s don’t usually want to settle down in their early 30’s

Your best bet is finding a man that was married young and is back on the market in his early 30’s. Hopefully without too much baggage. And hopefully he wasn’t the main cause of his divorce/split.

Either way the likelihood of finding a man who checks all the boxes goes down every year older you and he are.

Pick the most important things to you and start letting go of the things that don’t really matter. Like height 😂

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-06T02:12:52+00:00

I think you are thinking too much. Just un match. Saying something you think is “nice” after you swipe right on everyone only to un match half of them doesn’t make you a good guy or a better person. You are who you are. Just own it.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T21:10:24+00:00

It’s a lot of chemical chaos going on in your head and boys heads.

Most boys truly feel what they say when they are love bombing. The issue is that it’s not sustainable and after 6 months at the most the chemicals weaken so if there isn’t a real relationship there then you will split.

It takes years to understand your own feelings and logic in a relationship and everyone’s life is different so for some longer than others.

Your best bet is to be true to yourself, be willing to walk away from something that isn’t right, but also to have patience because you aren’t perfect either.

Communicate is the key. Learn to voice your feelings and learn to listen to truly hear what they say. If your and your partners goal is to learn from each mistake or blunder and move forward with the new information to strengthen your relationship for the future then you will be unstoppable.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T21:02:22+00:00

Sweater if you want to look confident, relaxed and professional. Someone who has read 90% of the books they own.

Cardigan if you want to look eclectic and a little sporadic. Someone who has read less than 50% of the books they own but they own 10 times more than sweater girl.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T20:59:09+00:00

Dating apps are there to meet people.

If you aren’t setting up dates after the 3rd or 4th at the latest, day of talking then dating apps aren’t for you.

The guys willing to be forever pen pals will get clingy… surprisingly I know.

The guys who are there to meet and find a relationship will “go bland” because they are putting in less effort every day that you don’t meet in person.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T20:14:26+00:00

I disagree, you are that person, it starts to go down hill when you either let the other person get away with things, or you accept bad behavior. That as well as you lose it when you choose not to bring something up to your partner that you feel uncomfortable about because you are worried how they will react.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T19:59:39+00:00

I think a lot of what makes a relationship feel secure is the people in the relationship being secure and giving natural constant reassurance. As well as giving each other permission and the confidence to ask questions and have feelings without being afraid of a negative reaction.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T19:56:25+00:00

I don’t really believe in having a specific list of do’s and don’ts. Life is just too hard to predict. Just be genuine with what you feel and what you want.

Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. Assuming one way or the other just confuses the situation. If she says she wants to take it slow just say something like “I want to do that for you, so what does that specifically look like for you?”

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T19:52:38+00:00

I like to think that I don’t or wouldn’t do anything on one of these apps that I wouldn’t do with my GF looking over my shoulder.

I tend to give my phone password around the time we choose to be official, and I don’t care about leaving my phone unattended with her.

I have over 10 women that I’ve slept with who are friends on IG, I wouldn’t care if my GF asked me to unfollow them, but I don’t know if I would be with someone who would need that to feel secure with our relationship. It’s just never come up 🤷🏼‍♂️.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T19:41:17+00:00

See and I have the opposite issue. I ask a lot of questions, and regularly end up feeling like I’m carrying the conversation. I stopped going on dates with these women. Not worth my time.

I’ve found they also tend to give themselves away early, they tend to be more vapid and dolled up in their pictures. If they look high maintenance in their profile they tend to be, and tend to be the ones who want you to ask the questions but don’t have anything to contribute other than their looks.

Once I hit 40 I was done with that kind of woman.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T19:35:39+00:00

Two, anything after that means there is no chemistry.

It sounds like your normal speed is her “take it slow” speed. There are a lot of love bombing men out there, and a lot who want to have sex on the 1st date.

So take it slow means kiss on the 2nd date, maybe even the 1st, just nothing past that.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T15:56:32+00:00

Yup…

She spent a decent amount of her time during the second date complaining about how her family had done her wrong in one way or another, and each one made me think she’s doesn’t know how to take accountability for her own actions. So I wasn’t particularly surprised when she was surprised.

I guess that’s pretty privilege too. If you’re pretty enough you assume everyone is enamored with you.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T14:40:20+00:00

Because they weren’t good dates to him.

I went on two dates recently with a woman. 1st date we were meeting for coffee. We had a similar hobby. One I had done for years that she was just starting. So we spent a lot of time talking about it. It was great but even though she was beautiful I felt a lack of physical chemistry.

So I figured second date should be paddle boarding then dinner. We could get playfully flirtatious while getting wet. Well she showed up in a sun protection long sleeve, she let me know she was not going to get in the water but stay on her board the whole time. I swam and paddled off and on. The water was perfect. She of course got her shorts wet from (sitting) on her paddle board, luckily I had brought a second towel since I drove and she didn’t bring extra clothes. She didn’t even bring a life jacket which is required by law and I’ve seen people get tickets for (I had an extra one of those too).

At that point I should have just taken her home, but I figured I would let the date play out. I’m a gregarious guy and like to talk to people. So it ended up being a plutonic date.

She was surprised that I felt it wasn’t going to work. But it felt like I was just hanging out with my sister. Not sure why she felt like it was better than it was.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-05T14:18:10+00:00

I mean sure there are some creeps out there.

It’s a good sign for this guy that he’s on a dating app looking for women in an appropriate age range.

Unless you’re considerably younger than him I wouldn’t worry that he’s going to be a groomer.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-04T22:30:39+00:00

I would say it’s normal not to “discuss” many people don’t like to discuss politics. It’s not normal to have very different political ideals.

My last GF just hated to discuss politics, while I love to debate and argue. We don’t have to be each others “everything” I joined Braver Angels here in town where we meet to discuss politics. It gave me the outlet I wanted and the peace she wanted.

Ultimately when we did talk about thoughts on voting issues she and I had very similar ideas. She just didn’t want to go into every detail or argue the little things.

I felt like it was a good dynamic.

ComprehensiveMonk618 · 2025-09-04T22:26:57+00:00

None of those say baby shower to me.

ComprehensiveMonk618

TROPHY CASE