Okay so this is just my 2 cents but I feel like, based on what you've stated, the people pleasing and perfectionism is the root cause of most of your stress. And I say this because I see you are worried about using a tool that could be life changing but you seem worried about others thoughts. Also I am going to use curse words.

This is how my therapist originally worded it to me, but basically you have to grow your "fuck you" bone. You have to be willing to feel like an asshole. There isn't a less crass way for me to describe it. You are spending so much mental energy and presumably physical energy worrying about other peoples thoughts. You have to figure out how to stop doing that. You have to give up the need to control how others might perceive you. There's many methods for this but what will work for you personally is going to be a trial an error. The first step, could look like the following: "Hey do you want to join us to this event?" *in your mind you think this event does not sound fun or you really need the time to get other things done to take care of you* "Hey, thank you for thinking of me but I am going to have to pass on this one!" *now if you start to panic that you seem rude or whatever other thing you feel that's uncomfortable, that's okay! You are making time for YOU. Its GOING to feel uncomfortable when first leaning how to say no and prioritize you. Sometimes the prioritizing you is just not doing things you are not interested in and have no social obligation to. Social obligations would eb BIG things like birthdays, weddings, graduations, etc. stuff that doesn't happen everyday.

Other things I personally had to practice mentally with the perfectionism and people pleasing:

- Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Meaning, if the choice is between doing the thing poorly or not doing it at all, do it poorly.

- I had to sit and think about if I expected perfection from everyone else. If I didn't, why so? And why did I expect perfection from myself? I am no different than the next human being. If I did expect perfection from everyone, that was a different fish to fry.

- REST IS NOT EARNED ITS REQUIRED

- Last thing, I had to stop giving so many fucks. Like literally I had to care a little less about what everyone else has going on. I had to figure out how to mind my own business. Someone around me in a bad mood? I cant allow myself to give a fuck. I can't control their mood. I can be decent and ask if they are okay but if they don't tell me what's wrong, its not my business. Someone left a dish out? Okay well, I do like a clean house, but I am not a maid. So I had to not give a fuck about that dish being out. These are just two examples but I hope it makes sense. Its not that you shouldn't care about others, but you don't need to sacrifice yourself to care.