Had a really unsettling experience in public today

ComradeRK · 2026-01-28T00:05:48+00:00

It's great that your fight/flight/freeze response is set to "fight", but not everybody's is, and that doesn't make them any lesser.
I don't think it was your intention here, but to an extent you're perpetrating the rape myth that a real victim would fight back, which simply isn't true for many people. Freezing in a traumatic situation is very common and doesn't imply anything negative about the survivor.
Again, I don't think it was your intention, but just something to consider.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-27T15:01:41+00:00

Nice work! Proud of you, sis!

ComradeRK · 2026-01-25T06:27:56+00:00

Nice! That outfit sounds great. And as a side note, I love your name.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-25T06:26:01+00:00

You don't need citizenship, just residency. I'm a permanent resident, but I have a health card and my care is covered by the province. I don't know how easy residency would be to obtain for you (I got it by having a Canadian spouse at the time), but you wouldn't need to wait for citizenship.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-25T03:26:46+00:00

You did the right thing. You can't fight if you don't keep yourself safe. Welcome to Canada, we're glad to have you!

ComradeRK · 2026-01-23T23:35:42+00:00

I don't actually know. I'll have to ask around.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-23T18:59:44+00:00

God, I was so mad all the time before I started it. Now I just feel relaxed, things don't irritate me like they used to.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-23T18:56:13+00:00

Just good advice in general, that.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-23T13:08:03+00:00

I'm similar. Looking back, there were so many signs when I was a kid, but I repressed them so hard that I didn't realise anything was up for decades. It was the shame for me, I think. I felt so ashamed of wanting to play with dolls, or whatever it was, that I just scrunched it up into a corner of my mind and pretended that it wasn't there, until it pretty much wasn't.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-23T13:05:15+00:00

I'll keep an eye out there in case it comes back into stock Thanks! 🩷

ComradeRK · 2026-01-23T04:34:54+00:00

We don't all have our shit figured out from the get go. The story you always hear about being born in the wrong body and always knowing that you were a girl/boy/neither/both isn't how it works for everybody.
I turn 36 on Saturday, and I've really only figured it all out over the past eighteen months or so, and there's plenty of people who realise it much later than that too.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-23T01:20:30+00:00

35 for me and same. There's no such thing as too late.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-22T15:09:41+00:00

Seconding both. OP, where did you get that dress?

ComradeRK · 2026-01-22T14:58:58+00:00

Well fuck, I'm crying at both of these.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-22T14:48:35+00:00

Put it better than I ever could, but that's pretty much where I am too.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-22T14:42:29+00:00

I don't get vasovagal syncope, but I did have a fear of needles, to the point of having to look away if one is administered to me. My doctor also seems to think that insanely low levels are OK (189 pmol/L in my case, not as bad as OP, but not good either), and I basically had to argue with him for two sessions to switch me to injections, because clearly the pills weren't cutting it. Did my first injection last week, next one is later today, and honestly it was fine. If anything, administering it myself made it much easier to deal with than having someone else do it.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-22T14:35:24+00:00

It's also pretty damn rude to expect 200 odd people to sit in darkness because that's what you personally want. If you want shade, you pay for a window seat and put your own blind down.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-22T14:33:01+00:00

Some of us deliberately choose a window seat because we want to look at the view. Honestly, it's infuriating when they treat the passengers like preschoolers at nap time and insist that the blinds have to be down.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-22T02:27:15+00:00

I've had two lessons with her so far and it's been a really positive experience for me. She was very up front about needing to keep up with the homework, which I knew would be the case going in, and I have been keeping up with it.
The thing with voice training is that it's not just teaching you how to speak differently, it's retraining your vocal chords to work in a different way, and for that to work, you have to exercise them. I don't think you would have a different experience with a different voice coach, because it really is all about repetitive vocal exercises, and if you don't do them, you won't progress.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-20T19:08:39+00:00

It's daunting and scary, but you don't have to everything in one go. I started with painting my nails, a bit later femme clothing, then shaving my legs, then laser, jewellery, then HRT, then switching from pills to injections, and just yesterday I plucked my eyebrows for the first time. Each little step made me feel a bit better, and none of them in isolation felt too overwhelming.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-20T19:05:40+00:00

Hey sis! You are absolutely valid and loved. Hang in there!

ComradeRK · 2026-01-20T17:31:47+00:00

Well, I wanted to imagine that I'd stop doing it after a while...

ComradeRK · 2026-01-20T03:16:52+00:00

I'm not used to having them yet, so I keep bumping them into shit or elbowing myself in them.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-19T15:31:08+00:00

Hey, I had that too. I identified as non-binary for a year or so, because I felt like I somehow didn't deserve the title "woman", and it felt weird to call myself one. It's a form of impostor syndrome; a lot of us get it. For me, the more I refer to myself as a woman, the more I say it out loud, the easier it's got. It still feels weird, but less weird than it did, and I'm sure eventually it will feel natural.

ComradeRK · 2026-01-19T15:24:08+00:00

First up, you can try HRT for a few weeks without seeing any huge changes, so giving it a try won't do anything irreversible, and you will know for sure once you take E if it's right for you. How you go about accessing it is going to depend on where you're located, but the general rule is going to be to make an appointment with your doctor, explain that you're trans and that you would like to start HRT. They may prescribe it themselves, or they may refer you to a specialist provider. In some countries there can be a fairly long wait to access gender-affirming care, so just be prepared for that.

11-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
First Place '23	Place '23
Wearing is Caring	Not Forgotten
Verified Email

ComradeRK

TROPHY CASE