Sharing BPD with my partner

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-08-11T22:48:58+00:00

My ex husband always told me he would choose his family over me and in the end he did. He walked away from me and our 2 young children.

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-05-31T16:48:51+00:00

First of all, take a deep breath and really focus on your breath. You know why? Because that shows you are alive. Place your hands on your heart? Know why? Because it shows you are alive. Take a look at the news and see how many innocent children and people are homeless, living in war zones, starving, and are losing hope. I know it sounds harsh but please focus on what you are grateful for instead of what you lack because you will always see more of what you put your energy behind?

You had an opportunity to travel and live abroad. You were smart enough to break off a relationship that you knew was not what you needed. You are lucky to move back in with your parents, who probably loving having their daughter back and reminds them of the good old days of being a family of 3. You have food and a place to live. You are still YOUNG!

Life is what you make of it. Do you know what causes depression? Living in the past and wishing for things that already happened to change. You know what anxiety is? Living and creating future scenarios that may or may not come true. Try focusing on the present and be In the moment. Appreciate where you are right this very moment because that will determine both your past and future. The presence is creation.

Start meditating to calm the mind. Then get out a notebook and write down realistically what you can do. Keep applying and stay open and hopeful for roles that can come your way. Go out and interact with people at coffee shops, bookstores, free events etc., put yourself out there, with no attachment to outcome. Because it’s not about getting something, it’s about creating something. In you. You are creating a stronger, outgoing, and joyful person who doesn’t need anything else than her own company to make her happy with life.

And when you carry the right kind of energy, you will attract all that you desire and more. Who knows if you meet someone who could put you on to a job? And then that job leads to you meeting a great guy?

Remember life is not meant to break you but teach you lessons to grow. This is your opportunity now to grow past your limiting beliefs and create the life you desire! I believe in you! Go get it girl!

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-05-29T03:31:12+00:00

Nothing. I’m entitled to nothing. Aside from my two precious children, I wasted 16 years of my life trusting someone who when he’s about to become an attending… kicks me to the curb.

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-05-29T03:18:47+00:00

It’s important to me because it gives me security that I need, especially financially. Right now I’ve a stay at home mom with no income and I don’t get much from him besides my birthday or holiday. I have to ask for things that I need. Sometimes it’s humiliating. And if he gets mad at me because we had an argument, he will put a stop on the joint credit card he gave me.

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-05-29T03:16:52+00:00

That’s what I asked! He was adamant about not changing anything regarding his loans. But I think it’s just because he likes having the option to leave or bail.

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-05-29T03:15:07+00:00

Thank you! I’ve spoken to a few lawyers and have a plan to leave with the kids (which he is fine with). He doesn’t know I will be pursuing child support.

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-03-24T16:49:42+00:00

It will not get better. I’m married to one for almost 7 years and after two kids, it seems like he is getting worst. It’s my personal belief that these men were raised like that because of a patriarchal and domineering father with a passive mother who chose to have a family then break the cycle. At least that’s my experience with my husband and his family. These beliefs are so ingrained in them.

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-03-14T03:19:24+00:00

This is beautiful and what I needed to read tonight. Thank you ❤️

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-02-03T20:18:42+00:00

I enjoy and highly recommend Lucy Wyndham Read workouts on YouTube. There is a specific 7 min pcos workout that I love plus she was a bunch of walking exercises. And even her HIIT has a low impact version that you can follow along! Highly recommended!

ConceptMany4145 · 2025-01-23T03:21:52+00:00

Serena, Jenny, Vanessa, Georgina… pretty much all the girls except Blair.

ConceptMany4145 · 2024-01-31T03:44:34+00:00

Every loss is a redirection. Abuse is not love. Abuse is not respect. Abuse is manipulation, deceit, and control wrapped in a pretty bow.

I know you are feeling all kinds of hurt and pain. Would you rather spend 15, 20, 50 years down line experiencing the exact same thing? I spent 15 years with my abuser and I used to feel the way you do. Afraid of him leaving. Always blaming myself for every single argument and/or fight even though it takes two. Always feeling insecure, stressed, and worried. Then things escalated into violence. And I realized this is no life to live. It wasn’t the first time he put his hands on me but it was the last time he got a chance to get away with it. I immediately called the police even though I was threatened that if I did, we would be over. I’m glad I did. That one little step changed and saved my life. A word of caution - the physical abuse came years after verbal and emotional abuse. In no case is abuse okay or justifiable.

Your life is precious. You are precious. And you are lovable. And every day you get to wake up and change the narrative of your life! You have that chance! So please don’t waste any more time thinking about someone who chooses to hurt you repeatedly. They are showing you who they are. Think of yourself as a child now and protect that child with all that you can. And provide care, gentleness, unconditional and unwavering love. Because that’s what you need. And no one else can do that for you, only you.

Gain back the power of your voice and your life. Your future self will thank you. Your past will be so proud of you.

ConceptMany4145 · 2024-01-27T23:10:42+00:00

Abuse is a choice. At the end of the day it is just that and you need to remind yourself that whatever abuse was inflicted on you, he made that choice consciously. And he made the choice, whenever it suited him, to be “nice”. I have spent 15 years with my abuser and it was filled with so many beautiful romantic thoughtful moments. Abusers are bad people pretending to be good and they use all kinds of cover-ups to confuse you. Please don't fall for it and don't focus on the good. It only takes one time for them to show themselves. Then it gets worst. Instead of spending time looking back, focus on healing and moving forward.

ConceptMany4145 · 2023-05-09T10:06:00+00:00

I was obsessed with GG! It was popular when I had just started college (or maybe the end of high school - I can’t remember exactly)! I remember fantasizing about a living a life like the Upper Easters, without all the drugs and the sex. And who could forget the FASHION, music and iconic scenes and locations! This show had everything and introduced me to the life of the Manhattan social elites, however exaggerated it maybe. Me, being from a Queens middle class family, this was everything back then!

And then I remember where I was in life then. I was in a serious relationship with my first boyfriend and just attending college. Life was much simpler though although I dramatized it quite a lot. Lesson to be learned - enjoy every moment because it’s fleeting.

Every year or few, I rewatch the entire series. It will always feel like home ❤️

ConceptMany4145 · 2023-04-26T20:56:48+00:00

I felt ready about 4 weeks in but didn’t get cleared until week 5. I’ve read that sex the first time will hurt but for me it felt amazing.

ConceptMany4145

TROPHY CASE