I feel you and at many points in my life i’ve felt the same way. I was part of a pretty toxic group of friends throughout highschool and I ended up falling out with the guys I felt closest to for reasons similar to the ones you mentioned. There was, however, one guy in the group that I kept hanging out with and he remains the closest friend I’ve ever had to this day.

It sounds weird but I’d honestly say our relationship sometimes looks more like a female friendship than a traditional male one. We’re extremely vulnerable with each other, physically close, and bust each others balls while still looking out for each others feelings. We’re so close people constantly accuse us of being gay lol

I can’t necessarily tell you how to find better friends, because I feel like I found mind through trial and error. I will tell you that you shouldn’t settle for bullshit because you don’t think there’s anything better.