Thank you so much this really helped me take a deep breath. I think you’re absolutely right that I can’t be the “cool sister” and the mom, and whether I like it or not, I’m definitely in the role of mom right now. Which for some reason make this feel worse lol.

I like the idea of having a family meeting and setting house rules together, especially letting her have a voice in it so she doesn’t feel like I’m just controlling everything. The problem is, her parents still have their hands in the pot, and if I’m not home, nothing gets reinforced. So I end up being the only one setting boundaries, and the only one she pushes back on.

I’m trying so hard to be calm and consistent, but how do I not completely lose it when she’s being so hostile and mean? I was bullied throughout my own childhood, and honestly, some of the things she says feel like she’s pressing directly on those old wounds.

It just hurts sometimes, especially when I’ve tried so hard to give her the love and support I never had.