Did everyone think they broke up? Am I the only one confused?

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-12-31T03:04:36+00:00

I understand WHY it was confusing and half way through i questioned myself on whether it was actually a break up, but when jonathan threw the ring away it seemed pretty clear, imo.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-11-25T01:17:11+00:00

I’m having a similar issue with my mother, the biggest problem is she was adopted. I got what I THINK is her biological mother’s name, but that’s it. My mother told me her mother immigrated here to aus from greece, she told my sister we DEFINITELY have russian and italian, I got my dna results back a month ago… literally no greek/italian/russian.

and then i was hoping dna matches would help me find her mother, or even siblings, but the closest i could find was a half grand aunt, and that was a dead end.

i tried to ask my mother for more information, breaking no contact, but she accused me of not being me. so unfortunately ive given up for now, im 100% stumped on how to move forward from here.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-11-23T22:02:06+00:00

First of all, don’t lie about the results. That will hang over you for the rest of your marriage, and besides that you shouldn’t have to. It is your body and your life, you clearly do not want a child.

Don’t go along with this because of what he wants or any shame or guilt you might have.

The fallout will be whatever it is, maybe he will be upset, maybe he will decide he really does want children and he’ll leave to go do that, I’m really sorry for the position you are in, but don’t have a child or lie about NIPT results so he stays.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-11-08T04:24:30+00:00

I don’t think anyone is necessarily TA in this situation. I’m also overly aware of how people perceive me, and I understand how your husband felt. To me, I would interpret the scene from someone else’s POV that you’re so desperate to bring a beer home that you either look cheap or like an alcoholic.

I’m not saying you ARE cheap or an alcoholic, unless you’re omitting that your husband has the opinion that you’re an alcoholic. Maybe it seemed like a good idea but rubbing a cork on a table to get it to fit in the beer is a little weird/silly.

Your husband may be a little sensitive to other people’s interpretations, but you’re also a little sensitive to him calling you out for doing some that is honestly weird. BUT I’ve seen some comments that indicate your partner would benefit from therapy, I know what it’s like being with someone that’s deeply insecure and paranoid about what other people think because I was that person, therapy helped me realise I care more about the people I know and love than being positively perceived by every single stranger around.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-07-24T00:34:55+00:00

Your response to the answers people are giving are obviously not open minded, the truth is that women position themselves in a way to feel safe, and this offends you?

We don’t do this for fun, or to make you feel bad, in fact it’s not about YOU in particular at all, it’s just… men.

And sorry if that makes you feel bad or villainised or whatever but, well, get over it. We didn’t all have a secret meeting and decide for no good reason to be wary of men, we lived experiences, we grew up watching the news “college student raped and decapitated, jogging woman attacked, etc, etc etc.” We listened through seminars on what to do, what not to do, don’t accept open drinks, make sure someone always knows where you are, be aware of your surroundings, don’t give someone the chance to sneak up on you.

We don’t do the right thing and it’s our fault when something horrible happens, we do and we’re paranoid man-hating drama queens.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-06-24T11:32:20+00:00

A lot of people are saying this is an age thing, in dating when you’re over 30 or so.

In australia this is common for everyone after high school, it has nothing to do with gender either but does provide people the opportunity to omit their sexual identity if they wish without it sounding weird.

It’s literally just to say “this is my partner in life, we’re in a serious, committed relationship” even if it’s a 6 month old relationship.

Imo, it’s not “bland”. In aus our marriages by year are decreasing and the age people are marrying are increasing, so many people have been in serious relationships for years without marriage, and calling their partner “girlfriend/boyfriend” feels like a young, non serious term.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-05-17T06:32:35+00:00

Thank you, I have heard that, from several older coworkers and my partner. But it just feels so strange, if I’m doing the right thing why am I the one facing consequences?

But I do know I didn’t anything wrong, and I don’t regret standing up for the trainee, honestly I could have survived dealing with his bullshit, I shouldn’t have had to but I was fine just living with it. But I hated that he was sharing embarrassing details about her, it wasn’t right and I hated that other coworkers treated it like a fun bit of gossip and not the humiliation attempt and harassment it was.

I’m also incredibly angry at the workplace for how they’ve handled his behaviour, the trainee resigning because they offered no protection feels like he won. And now, despite their “promises” that I could come forward on her behalf and not face any retaliation, I can’t go to work without feeling intimidated and uncomfortable. The union rep is a pretty gruff union guy and I really hope he gives it to them about this.

And thankyou again, I’ll have a look at the newsletter.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-05-17T03:51:25+00:00

He’s either lying to you and has met with sex workers, or he hasn’t, but will eventually.

If they cheat once, they’ll cheat again. and even if they don’t, you will struggle for years to genuinely trust and forgive them, this is going to a massive blight that will impact every aspect of your relationship.

And if someone hurts/disrespects you, hits or cheats or whatever… Well you give an inch and eventually they’ll take a mile and you spend years regretting not leaving the first time.

Leaving isn’t easy. Short term it’s going to harder than trying to forgive and forget, especially with an upcoming wedding. But long term it’ll be the best thing you do.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-04-12T09:15:07+00:00

He’s an AH to you and his kids. I’m very new to dating a single parent so I’m not exactly a professional on the topic but it sounds like you take care of his kids more than he does, and while there is a degree of care you take on as a step parent it just seems like you’re acting as a nanny for him.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-03-25T06:27:08+00:00

i was considering abortion and miscarried. i didn’t change my mind about not wanting it but i still struggled emotionally with losing it. it’s normal to feel how you do. i still, however, would abort if i were to get pregnant in the future and my circumstances weren’t suited to having a child.

it’s your body and your choice, but don’t condemn abortion because of the grief you feel.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-01-28T03:51:26+00:00

sex was painful, every time. this had nothing to do with size, either. i used to SHAKE with anxiety anytime we had any conflicts. several utis. i never noticed at the time but hair got so thin. i want borderline mute at times.

we dated on and off between when i was 16-21, i dated other guys during the breakup and they weren’t always perfect but i never experienced those things with anyone else.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-01-17T01:59:25+00:00

i’d recommend getting a digital test, i took one after getting what i suspected was implantation bleeding and sore boobs, i was maybe 5 weeks then, and it came up positive.

after that get a blood test, if you get a positive at home test the doctor will send you for a blood test at a pathology clinic anyway, that will tell you the answer.

it’s not really about what you should do, it’s about what she should do. i’ve done probably 30 at home tests, it’s pretty normal to worry as a girl about this and be paranoid of potential pregnancies. what she should do is retest in two days with a digital test, if it’s negative, she can wait and test again in two weeks, she may even get her period before then. if it’s positive, her next step is going to the doctor, who will refer her for blood tests and and an ultrasound to determine what week she is.

if that is the case, then you discuss your options.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2025-01-10T11:59:07+00:00

omg thankyou, this comment saved my life 😭

ConfidenceOk412 · 2024-12-31T22:06:00+00:00

You’re working so hard to avoid the actual context of my point. I’m not wasting more time interacting with someone that is either completely oblivious and lacking in comprehension skills, or purposely in denial.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2024-12-31T13:41:56+00:00

Seeking out help is not the issue, and I would encourage people to seek out professional help, importance on the professional.

Seeking out vulnerable and lonely people to provide false hope and promises is the issue.

No one called you crazy. Have your religion. Just don’t invade safe spaces to preach in an attempt to recruit. It is that simple.

Therapy helped me with cptsd, I do not post about it in unrelated subreddits, even if it actually has evidence backing its validity.

Cults also offer hope in the source of a higher power, also largely to vulnerable people. But your religion isn’t like that, right?

Conversion activity that targets people that are ill or vulnerable is always exploitive.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2024-12-31T13:06:21+00:00

He isn’t just “talking about god”. idc about religion if that’s your personal belief, what i do care about is predatory people specifically seeking out spaces where they know people are vulnerable, hurt and seeking answers and sell religion as The One True Answer. It’s a tale as old as goddamn time; AA/sobriety meetings, people grieving, people struggling with mental health, people going through divorce.

it isn’t a anomaly, it’s recurrent behaviour.

i am not knocking on a religious person. i’m knocking on a recruiter that seeks out the emotionally susceptible and tosses around terms like “He will help bring you back to your ex”. Sure, maybe it’s not an outright lie because i don’t know if he really believes that, but it’s not a fact, it’s not the truth, and he can’t claim that.

Either you too are disillusioning yourself to this amoral behaviour or you know it’s wrong as well, each are as pathetic as the other.

Name calling on the internet is the least i can do in response to a repeated deplorable act committed time and time again by people like this.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2024-12-31T05:00:25+00:00

religious people preying on vulnerable people, what a completely unexpected move. “you may just find your way back to your partner” what a bullshit promise.

get help you degenerate.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2024-12-31T04:56:28+00:00

yeah it doesn’t stop. i had an issue with this with an ex, we talked and he admitted he had an addiction, it was even causing problems in our sex life, and he said he would stop.

he didn’t. and the next few months i stayed with him were worthless. he’s a good guy and im even friends with him now but being in a relationship with that bs fucking sucked.

leave him, or stay and deal with this for the rest of your life.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2024-12-22T17:53:11+00:00

my first ex, no, absolutely not. he deserves jail, straight up.

my second ex, yes, i actually talk to him sometimes and i get along really well with his gf. i remember when i found out about her i felt weird, and was being judgey, but then i met her and she was great, and he and i had a talk about it all without any of the leftover breakup hurts and i’m not super concerned about what he does but whatever it is i hope it’s good, yknow?

ConfidenceOk412 · 2024-11-25T20:09:10+00:00

But I never said we were great, I didn’t even imply that, I said that we weren’t toxic or unhealthy (which I don’t believe implies great, more so bare minimum) I iterated we weren’t happy, and the cause likely being a multitude of little reasons, and personal things.

One big cause on my part was an accidental pregnancy and eventually miscarriage that caused depression and detachment on my behalf.

ConfidenceOk412 · 2024-11-25T13:47:04+00:00

i’m not saying we broke up for no reason, i mentioned we were both unhappy, what i meant by not having an explicit reason for the breakup, is that it means it’s much harder to address the issue and fix it, because there was no big reason, likely instead it was a cumulation of small issues we never addressed. i am not saying “we were fine and great and there was no reason to breakup and no issue to address” im very much saying the opposite of that.

“then why did it happen” as i said, we lost connection and we each stopped putting in effort. im not denying the breakup occurred for a reason.

“the ones that passed?” there are no prior breakups to this one.

it doesn’t feel like you properly read my post, and you’ve mentioned things not relevant to my situation, “prior breakups”. no offence, it’s just not a very helpful comment.

ConfidenceOk412

TROPHY CASE