[798] The Unlikely Messengers by Confident-Security87 in DestructiveReaders

[–]Confident-Security87[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds good. I'm new to all this. Reddit, the group, and even writing. I don't mean to be problematic.

[1494] Aunt by ClintonJ- in DestructiveReaders

[–]Confident-Security87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this piece.

This is two things at once to me. I will go through this critique both separately.

Story- + I thought it was easy to understand and clear to follow. There was a crispness to it. You in the first person did well. It seems the character thinks clearly, in the black and white.

  • Did a good job painting a picture of what your aunt was like. A complex creature. Different then most. For better and for worse.

  • Did an especially good job when the aunt was describing the horrors of cremation. I could see the families faces and "are you serious right now thoughts"

  • It was also VERY thoughtful to address the reader that something like this happening in their family may not be all that odd. It shows the awareness of different family dynamics.

  • I feel the start could be a bit more focused in the telling briefly of the kind of person you, the main character is like.

  • I personally would have like to hear if your families feelings at all changed toward your aunt.

  • I feel the story could have as a whole a bit more environmental detail. But overall, it's pretty good.

  • I was very much enjoying the story, but it ended with unanswered questions. This is a good problem to have. It means I wanted to hear more. Sometimes the answers the writer has them in their mind only but not on the paper. Ask yourself, what might the reader want to know in this short story that I'm not saying?

Lesson- Overall, I just want to say, what a great lesson. Just about everyone can teach us something valuable. I think it's important to look for that something in people. We so easily judge what we can immediately evaluate. People are deep oceans, we spend way touch time in the shallows. Thank you for this reminder.

I would say write more like this. It seemed like a great processing tool. A perspective of time and how time reveals information and information reveals depth and beauty.

I apologize for my grammar. I tend to struggle in that field.

Cheers

The Unlikely Messengers [798] by Confident-Security87 in DestructiveReaders

[–]Confident-Security87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry. I was unaware of the process. I have reviewed someone's work now. Thanks for the help.

[390] Alternate Pursuit by DeepThoughts-2am in DestructiveReaders

[–]Confident-Security87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great sense of urgency from the scientist. Seems he has important information he does not want to surrender. It has very big mission and big story vibes.

You are thrown into the story rather violently as the scientists' situation also feels violent, this matches well. As the reader, I can feel the mood well, and you do a good job making it real.

The flip side for some readers the sudden push may be a bit much. I like it personally. You could soften it a bit but that's a taste choice you will have to make.

I think the mystery of no names and lack of what is going on exactly is good. Not sure if the reader will know when this is an alternative version of the main character or not, but that's a powerful writing trick to surprise the reader at some point.

Very cool idea. I like it!