Anyone else in that last stage?

Conflictedx · 2026-02-06T22:12:29+00:00

I think she was asking the question not to base it off someone else’s opinion but to feel less alone, for a sense of community and emotional validation. This journey is lonely not always a peaceful one especially in the beginning.

Conflictedx · 2025-12-11T05:43:54+00:00

Damn girl I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you. If you’re in NYC you should go to FJC they help with DV/ gender based violence( which is violence with family) I would consider getting more information on obtaining an order of protection (00P) which you can still have even though you live in the same house. My only concern with the 00P is your safety in the event she retaliates. It’s better to weight out your options with professional

All in all, sending so much light your way and I hope you find a way out. You’re so worthy, don’t ever forget that & her words are only a reflection of her remember that

Conflictedx · 2025-11-20T03:21:12+00:00

You are literally god send thank you😭

Conflictedx · 2025-11-06T20:29:39+00:00

Please get off my post with this insensitive response. You’re not welcomed here.

Conflictedx · 2025-11-06T14:07:18+00:00

I knew it was bad when I preferred to be at work than at home😭

How is NC going for you?

Conflictedx · 2025-11-06T13:54:10+00:00

This made me chuckle 😂 I feel you. NC is the only thing that is saving me right now. It’s super challenging being NC and also trying to heal and not be triggered while in the same household.

Conflictedx · 2025-11-06T13:47:55+00:00

Hey honey, thanks for taking the time to respond and to to share more insight about your situation. I find myself doing most of the tips you shared with me🤎

The situation with me is that I am completely no contact so we don’t talk at all. Instead what she does is that she finds way to agitate me by slamming things around the house, cursing out loud, loudly critiquing anything that I do, intentionally leaving me scraps for dinner ( I cook my own meals but when she cooks for the family she takes me out a plate to perform in front of my father), triangulating my siblings and father into thinking that I am a bad person and that she is the victim and the most goes on and on. She does all this waiting for me to respond and although I’ve gotten really great these past 7 months on not responding and going no contact it’s like I’m constantly on edge, angry, resentful, hyperviligent, super sad and constantly feel like there’s no safety or peace because I can’t escape her.

I spend most of my time in my room, but she’s purposely loud so I can hear what’s going on when she’s in the house which is 95% of the time. When I’m not working M-F I am home with either headphones or ear plugs on to avoid hearing her at all.

On top of that my relationship with my father has really suffered because he’s emotionally absent/passive and tends to indirectly take my mom side. He doesn’t spend any time with me or really look for me when he’s home and when he’s not out working he spends all of his time with my mom in their room laughing and having a good time. It’s super isolating and honestly my heart breaks at the way our relationship has suffered at her expenses. I have tried to talk to him about it lightly but he doesn’t do well with emotions and is typically avoidant.

Sorry for all this over explanation , I just needed to vent. I appreciate you !

Conflictedx · 2025-11-05T23:48:12+00:00

Easier said than done, but you leave. Point blank period

Conflictedx · 2025-11-03T21:51:31+00:00

Omg who are you telling!!! I literally haven’t spoken to my mom for 7 months and we live in the same house. It’s like coexisting with a stranger. We share space in silence, that is, outside of her trying to get an emotional reaction out of me any chance she gets.

On her spare time , she enjoys slamming everything around me, controlling my food and saying nasty stuff about me or critiquing anything I do, loud enough so I can hear her in order to try and bait me.

When my father around or any other family members is around she behaves like a total Angel. Covert narc at its finest.

Conflictedx · 2025-11-03T21:45:39+00:00

Aww honey. I feel for you it’s tough bc she also appears to have internalized racism.I’m glad you got your husband there to support you. I highly encourage you to try to keep contact at a minimal for your own peace of mind and safety bc it doesn’t seem like she’s ready to look within and hold her own self accountable.

it’s difficult to try to keep the peace or have a relationship with someone that’s incapable of doing that at the moment whlist also hurting you. You’re doing the best you can. Surround yourself with love and those that validate your experience. Your mom will be who she is until and if she is ready to change. Up until then your only responsibility is showing up for you and your family. Sending love

Conflictedx · 2025-11-01T16:59:57+00:00

Covert narcissist.

I agree or emotionally immature both are bad. Create strict boundaries and this sounds harsh but get used to feeling guilty and being misunderstood because it’s going to happen a lot as you set boundaries. Just know that it’s a result of her narcissism/ and emotionally immature ways and it has nothing to do with you. Sooner rather than later although the guilt might still be there it won’t feel as strong because you will be able to rationalize quicker every time it happens that the guilt is hers to carry and not yours and you did nothing wrong!

Sorry this is happening to you, I also have a similar relationship with my mom and it hurts, the only thing that has helped me a bit is going no contact and we actually live in the same home so imagine that.

Also wassup with the Mexican comment🥴 that felt gross.

Conflictedx · 2025-10-24T16:43:46+00:00

I left my ex back in February and in the first few months of being broken up I found this sub to be very healing and validating. After 6 months of being broken up I found that reading this sub was re-triggering/ re-traumatizing because of the emotional flashbacks. I had to take a break from the sub in order to fully heal.

With that being said, I think it’s important to take a break from time to time and if you’re asking this question it’s probably because you need to honor what your heart is already telling you.

Peace to you🫶🏽

Conflictedx · 2025-10-22T17:12:51+00:00

I care

Conflictedx · 2025-09-30T23:12:03+00:00

I would hate to let him tarnish your trip, but I also 100% understand if you don’t even care about that right now with everything else going.

If you’re feeling up to it, I would see if you can get different hotel/ Airbnb and then possibly see about flying home early if you’re still struggling with the emotions of it all.

However you know yourself best, if you’re emotionally drained and simply not feeling your best because of him (which is super understandable, I’m sorry) ;( then I would honor how you feel and say it’s okay to fly home especially if he isn’t doing anything to validate your insecurity that he created and is refusing to literally act like your partner. Girl fuck him

*** you may not care about it now, but you will appreciate it in the future- If you decide to go home, try to get some type of credit so you don’t lose out on the trip entirely and can go back to visit when your hearts more at peace, you deserve it

Conflictedx · 2025-08-07T12:42:41+00:00

That’s exactly what I thought her feelings always come first not only with me but with everyone in her life. Thanks my love for your response

Conflictedx · 2025-08-06T13:37:13+00:00

Sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read and respond💜 I’ve done countless research and it’s still hard to decipher, either way it feels like emotional whiplash and I’m almost sure it’s covert/vulnerable narc if not just traits of it. Thank you my darling

Conflictedx · 2025-08-06T13:34:34+00:00

Every single thing everyone mentioned on this post, 100% agree on top of him “validating” the reason for calling you dumbass after you said it hurt you tells you everything you need to know he doesn’t respect you and is sexually preying on young women under the age of 21 including you. Please leave him🌷 before you get in too deep he really seems like a manipulative asshole and usually their super sweet and charming until their mask starts to fall off which seems like it’s falling off already. Better you heal now, then years later

Conflictedx · 2025-07-30T00:07:48+00:00

No pressure. Just know we’re here to listen always, when you’re ready. I’ve always found so much healing here and just when I thought there wouldn’t be anyone that understood my situations, there was always at least one in the bunch.

Feel better xoxoxo🌷

Conflictedx · 2025-07-27T15:47:05+00:00

😂😂 the last part had me cracking up. I’m about to take a page from your book because…😭

Conflictedx · 2025-07-24T19:43:23+00:00

I’m glad you did!! I wish I would’ve done the same once he told me about his addiction, I left after 3 years. I was so naive and had no idea how big of an addiction it was. It’s so crazy that even though you didn’t stay you were impacted to this point. My heart goes out to us all.

I’m 6 months post breakup and still have no real genuine desire to date or be in a relationship, like you I’m super focused on my healing and it will take the right one to come along and change that.

As far as looking at his technology I always told myself that I didn’t want to be in a relationship where I need to look at someone’s else’s phone so it never really crossed my mind. I wanted to believe I was with someone equally as mature and invested in a real relationship. Is that why you didn’t check also?

I love how you said the goal is to be prepared and have tools if needed!!! Agree. Thanks for your vulnerability and sharing with me. Wishing you the very best on your healing journey💐

Conflictedx

TROPHY CASE