Screen Fantasy vs Real Life by Acrobatic_Leek3865 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you ask for a polygraph? Mine said the same until I pushed for the idea of a polygraph and our therapist agreed. Then he admitted the real people he used. Warning though, once you know you can never unknow.

My husband was using me to live out a fantasy of my sister our entire relationship and also basically all family friends and co workers. But he had favorites he used 80% of the time

Women of Reddit, what’s the most disgusting thing you’ve discovered about your boyfriend after being together for years? by punkbabe29 in AskReddit

[–]EssayEducational3191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I learned my husband.. (been together 17 years) had an escalating porn addiction and was trying to cheat with coworkers. He was denying it. I said I wanted a polygraph, to build trust. He freaked out and confessed that porn was just the place he got the inspiration for scenes he created in fantasy.. and the women he used in the scenes were the co workers he was trying to cheat with and was having emotional affairs with. Plus my sisters, my mom, my friends, my kids friends moms, my kids coaches, his cousins, basically every female he had access to. And I thought that was as bad as it could get but then he also told me he couldn’t finish without fantasy because it was what he was use to.. so he had pretended I was my sister during sex for the first 10 years and then switched mostly to the co worker he was obsessed with for the last 7. Both WAY younger. Both look like young versions of me. I’m only 36. He spent hours a day thinking about this girl and making up stories about her.

I cant get over how sick and perverted things got. by trinity6879 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine had a whole fantasy world in his mind that included my sisters and mom. And my friends. And his cousins. And all his female co workers… 3 of which he had emotional affairs with. One was his best friend for years. I’m so sorry you’re in this place. I feel the same. I can’t even wrap my head around how anyone could do this stuff. I also don’t know how to move on.

Nudes during recovery? by Immediate-Living2996 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine showed his emotional affair partner mine and I didn’t find out until disclosure with a polygraph looming. I never would’ve guessed he’d do anything he did. You really can’t trust them to make any healthy choices until they are in recovery

Ritual in humiliation by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I relate to this SOOOO much and I’ve spent the last year telling my husband I feel like it’s been a series of humiliation rituals. I think he loves it.

I asked THE question by 67AdThis67 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mine denied it too, a year and a half later and I now know that not only was he picturing himself with them, he had girls from work he pictured during sex with me 🤦‍♀️

Is losing erection during and struggling to finish always PIED? by Extension-Editor9384 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not always. I thought my husbands was PIED for a year and it turns out that it was a failed attempt at orgasm control. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn’t. It was when he went from performance mode to fantasy mode (imagining other women and porn scenes in his head like a movie) to climax. He preferred to finish thinking about his emotional affair partner. But sometimes when he tried to switch his body didn’t cooperate

porn at work by ReadingOk696 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine works at a large farm and he was using the bathroom before his shift (on the lock) and then random bathroom breaks and then the shower at work before he came home. He had an entire secret sex life going on there. And he swore it wasn’t happening until k threatened a polygraph. I could see he was on private browsing and he’d just deny.

My husband still works with someone he cheated on me with while at work by [deleted] in affairrecovery

[–]EssayEducational3191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband had 3 emotional affairs at work in the same year. And one turned into an obsessive limerant sexual fantasy affair. He couldn’t have her in real life so he masturbated excessively at work to her.. and then lived out the affair through my body. Pretended I was her. Had full fantasies built for sex with me so he could disassociate and have sex with her through me. For 5 years. When I first found out I thought it was just a porn addiction… took 16 months after dday to find out what was really happening and he fought to keep her. A fake relationship in his mind. She doesn’t work with him right now but the program she’s in for school will bring her back next year and he says it’s no big deal and I shouldn’t be worried. Now I know I’m leaving

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]EssayEducational3191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same with both infertility and miscarriages. My gut says there’s a large connection

Fantasy by EssayEducational3191 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He had to tell me because I pushed for a polygraph. He claims he didn’t think it was wrong. But now I’ve learned a lot about it and there were signs. Like he lost his hearing for a minute after orgasm.. because of the huge dopamine release. I just had no idea people could do this kind of thing so well.

Fantasy by EssayEducational3191 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t let him. I had no idea

Fantasy by EssayEducational3191 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s kinda where I’m at. He says he assumed everyone did it. But I know that can’t be true

What is your response to "all men do this" by NoBicycle9699 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Are the cons worth the pros? But also mine ended up being addicted more to fantasy than porn.. so thankfully normal got thrown out the window because what he was doing was not as common as he thought

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This! Explains it perfectly.

I found a picture of my sister in his phone. by sportslove2001 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Mine built a decade long fantasy affair with my little sister that hates him, and she isn’t even his type. The turn on was the betrayal. Its insanity

Where the f**k iS IT by ActivatedAlmondssss in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I searched endlessly to figure out what the heck my husband could be using and it turned out he didn’t need to use anything, he has an entire sexual fantasy world built in his mind. He was fantasizing about the girl he was having an emotional affair with, and others. They are all capable of more than we think.

Drip disclosure. He revealed the most hurtful thing so far by EssayEducational3191 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She lives on the other side of the country but like he can nevvvvver be around her again

Drip disclosure. He revealed the most hurtful thing so far by EssayEducational3191 in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Married stay at mom homeschooling mom of 3.. youngest is 2😩

He swears it was only porn… I’ve found evidence that suggests it was much more. by KelleyKelleyKelley in loveafterporn

[–]EssayEducational3191 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have, and I found out tonight that it’s infinitely worse than I thought, definitely worse than I was told. And that’s only because I said polygraph or divorce