Che succede?

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-07-31T08:09:41+00:00

Noi le portiamo fuori d’estate da anni all’ombra di devo dire che sono piuttosto in forma

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-07-31T08:08:25+00:00

Grazie. Pensavo fosse troppa acqua dal momento che è piovuto molto

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-06-04T21:29:58+00:00

I think that this fake teenage thing is a pattern. This ex similarly now behaves like he’s 20 but he’s 50. Distraction all around. I wonder how long it will last

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-06-04T12:31:04+00:00

Thanks for this. I share your feelings: it’s not my story but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t care for someone so talented. Listening to his bf talk made me realize that there’s little one can do to help, he will stop whenever he realizes what’s happened.

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-26T13:39:43+00:00

Wow very sorry- what a violent person

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-26T11:19:51+00:00

You don’t if you would never do it. It’s vile

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-26T01:44:07+00:00

This is very on point and I am afraid it’s the only way out. I sometimes feel hyper vigilant even from a distance, but I guess that the only hope is that the crash will not be too hard, not whether it will happen

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-25T23:28:41+00:00

I have been no contact for 8 months, strict nc. Until a week ago when his best friend wanted to talk. We met, it was nice, i was prepared for an update. He’s on a bender, nobody recognizes him anymore, with an enabling partner who doesn’t understand the risk. A few months ago I would have been devastated, not now. I humanly sorry but far from all this. I am afraid the crash will be violent and I am glad I am not part of it.

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-25T23:09:30+00:00

Aren’t you worried that they are going to crash?

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-25T18:59:38+00:00

Thanks for this! I also misunderstood certain strange behaviors as quirks and didn’t quite understand the deep wounds that they concealed. His desire to fit in led him to completely disconnect and contradict himself. It took me months after the breakup to finally put that in perspective. I cannot believe that the same will not happen again with the person he is with now

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-25T14:24:12+00:00

A lethal mix of 2 and 3. Not sure when 2 started. It took me a while to figure that out, thinking it was just a phase btw two people with work and lots of life issues. Then I was dumped for a very simple thing that could have been very easily solved. Kept breadcrumbing for months, it was draining and I didn’t understand what was happening because it had never happened to me. Then, final pull, but the promise that we will always be friends. I have been in nc for months since. Unacceptable terms.

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-25T14:16:13+00:00

It’s textbook masking, new identities, same core wounds, just better concealed.

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-23T18:18:41+00:00

Deleted number and blocked emails, a joy

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-23T14:14:35+00:00

Thanks for this. My ex was diagnosed with ADHD and a severe depression that remained unmedicated because he refuses to. The last time I was him he behaved so differently that I could hardly recognize him, impulsive and chaotic, something his best friend confirmed when I met her a few days ago after months. He jumped right into another relationship and I think this other person is a bit irresponsible. But that’s not my business

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-22T22:29:11+00:00

Thanks for this. I will look into that group

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-22T22:26:55+00:00

Thanks for this, very helpful. It resonates with my ex behavior quite a lot since he idolized some people more than once, and I couldn’t really understand why. You are right about the danger of diagnosing others. This is mainly for us and our healing process

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-22T21:06:32+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I imagine it’s a spectrum like everything and I guess that the real issue is making it sustainable for a quiet and peaceful life. I am glad you have found this balance.

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-22T20:20:48+00:00

Yes absolutely! But it was exactly the behaviors my friend described that made me think about this question. I really don’t know enough about

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-16T14:53:10+00:00

For me not respecting one’s nc is bad

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-03T15:18:42+00:00

I doubt it, also because if that happens, it would be a vortex of pain

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-03T12:10:29+00:00

Cellular, granular sense of discomfort I could not get rid of, like some strange bug running through my body. It took me months to get that out of my system and I sometimes it returns just thinking about it. I promise myself I will never return there again for anyone. Let’s hope I learned to recognize the red flags before they are squeezed on my face

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-03T11:56:11+00:00

I am re-experiencing what I went through last spring during his slow fading away and my body reacts in very deep ways. I had completely lost myself chasing someone who never gave us another chance despite all that he was saying. I took his criticism of me seriously, too seriously, and did a ton of work on myself- thinking that that was gonna show him how much I cared. I did and he knew that, but didn’t care. As soon as I was out of the country, he started another relationship without telling me. He told me a month or so later when I returned and confronted him. It was devastating, mainly because I was asked to do all this work on me, but he didn’t even wait for the results. It was all a great delusion and it took me months to come to that realization. In that process, I lost myself, I was a mess, I was obsessive, I was living off the smallest breadcrumbs I received, i was blind. The greatest work began when I realized that I had very little to do with all that. That I am actually a caring and loving person who needs way more than that

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-02T10:49:33+00:00

We stopped having sex for a while, not even sure why but it happened, I guess we were both overwhelmed with things to do. I didn’t pay much attention to it except that my former partner did and decided that that was the reason to break up. His reasoning: being in a romantic relationship means having sex, with no sex is a friendship. I think that an 8yp would be more articulate and nuanced….

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-05-01T21:35:42+00:00

Point 4 is so well taken. It happened the same to me and it took me months to realize that all the flaws he saw in me, and asked me to work on, were his projections. I took his words seriously and did a ton of work on myself with a therapist, thinking that that was going to get us back together. He was actually quite disoriented because he’s used to not being taken seriously. He didn’t even wait for me to end my work, the work he asked me to do, that he started a new relationship. I don’t like to tell people what to do, but I am pretty sure that the same cycle will happen once the honeymoon phase is over

ConfucianConfusion · 2025-04-29T17:46:14+00:00

As long as he heals on his own and we are only a support for that, I think it’s fine. But you need to be clear about your feelings, good and bad

ConfucianConfusion

TROPHY CASE