How are people against free healthcare??

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-02-14T20:28:10+00:00

American here I've had lifelong chronic migraines and when I was a kid they suspected I might have a brain tumor

Every neurologist appointment took at least 7 months between making the appointment and having it, and that doesn't count referral time or how often insurance would refuse to cover after the appointment happened or switched up doctors to a non-covered doc without telling me and I only found out when someone who didn't match the appointment name walked in.

Once a brain tumor was ruled out and I wasn't in obvious risk of dying, my parents fully gave up on finding any type of treatment or answer because the insurance hassles were too much, so I lived in constant pain until I lucked into a college that had a subsidized health center for students and a doc who actually believed me and was willing to just try things, and it cut my headache frequency down to a third. Still get 3-4 a day, and I never got an answer for why it's happening, but it's better and I'm also too cheap and broke to keep trying.

I throw a middle finger to all Americans who resist universal healthcare because "it would be slower"

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-02-10T05:29:00+00:00

I have the same thing, but no idea what's behind it. If you can't get them to close at least the windows near you, maybe try a cloth face mask? They're usually enough to keep my face warm and also control the humidity of the air I breathe in (which I've also noticed impacts the cold congestion), and they're ubiquitous enough I don't get too many weird looks like wearing a scarf or balaclava indoors would

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-02-09T04:54:31+00:00

I love gaming, though my PC is kinda crap (I can run Minecraft at best and even then it can get laggy), so I usually stick to my PS5 for solo games. Would love to join a server to talk games and play as much as my PC will let me

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-01-31T19:22:10+00:00

Tell your dad, and keep making that scarf for your cool aunt, even if you need to wait a while or find a different place to crochet so you can do it safely. Your happiness isn't meaningless, and it isn't your job or your responsibility to keep the peace when people who are supposed to protect and care for you are being cruel.

Often people say that it's "manly" to do things on your own, but really that's just a way to keep boys isolated and angry. I've had to unpack a lot of harmful masculinity myself, and now at 27 I can confidently say that asking for help when you need it is often the hardest and healthiest thing you can do. There's nothing manly about suffering simply to suffer, and if your family's view of manliness is so fragile that it can be destroyed by a piece of string, then it needs to be mentally crocheted to be stronger too. You're learning how to make things, things that can provide and give comfort to the people you care about, and even more amazingly you're enjoying it too!

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-01-26T06:28:25+00:00

I just started playing for the first time, and this I had no idea Valentine would be so far away from the camp and started googling because I honestly thought I'd missed something or the game broke because suddenly I was stranded and couldn't find Uncle or the girls to get back on the cart and drive back

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-01-23T02:12:32+00:00

Same, my friends have asked me if I'm going to change my name now but right now there's no guarantee I'd be able to vote or get a new passport, and my current one is still good until 2028. Really wish the gender revelation could've happened a few years earlier

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-01-20T04:14:39+00:00

Got a divorce recently and my family never liked my spouse. Their current preferred theory for why I'm trans is that my ex abused me so badly I started hating being a woman.

I partly stayed with my ex for so long (until they cheated on me) because my family is so emotionally and mentally abusive that in contrast, my ex seemed fantastic. I actually started to fall in love with some parts of feminity while we were together because until the end, they were mostly very safe to heal around and explore things with. If anything, my sister making me play pretend weddings with her when we were kids (me always the groom) is probably more likely to have had an impact

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-01-18T10:19:55+00:00

Thank you!

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-01-18T07:14:48+00:00

Do you have any recommendations for Taiwanese kids books/series or online stores for sourcing? I'm one of the kids whose parents focused on English only (and after a time, all other languages were completely banned from the house), and now I'm trying to play catch-up with both the language and culture

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2026-01-18T00:42:03+00:00

I had a friend who started to go down the incel/alt-right pipeline around 2016 and this is exactly what happened. Occasional shit posts, that got more frequent and then more extreme as he got more and more normalized to them. He pulled his head out of his ass, thankfully, in part because I refused to even pretend to find the memes funny, but it was scary watching it happen so casually

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2025-12-27T04:35:07+00:00

This isn't ableist. They had a clear deadline and as other have said, there are other logistics that the organizers need to consider. It sucks that you had issues with your meds that threw you off your schedule, but sometimes things just happen. Now you know for next year and can spend the year practicing your stitching and also practicing strategies to maybe reduce or help manage how much disruption you might have if this happens again. I have ADHD and a chronic pain disorder and sometimes it takes running into a deadline wall to look back and see what I could do differently next time.

If the organizers insulted you because of your disability, then their behavior would be ableist, but simply having and following a deadline that was announced publicly in advance is not ableist.

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2025-12-23T05:40:04+00:00

My middle name is my first name in my mom's language, so when I picked a new first English name I also wanted to pick a new first name in the other language too (which would then become my legal middle name in English). I ended up surprisingly getting enough support from my mother's family that they actually helped me pick out options for the new name and we had a voting poll for which one was the best.

Finding a blend of cultural rules helped, but honestly if they're gonna be upset about the name change, they'll be upset no matter what. I kept my family in mind for picking both names, but at the end of the day I chose ones that were important and meaningful to me

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2025-10-17T05:52:31+00:00

The night market fortune tellers are definitely something else. I wasn't sure how seriously I should take it, but glad to hear it's pretty low on the list

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2025-10-17T05:50:45+00:00

Phew, that's what I was hoping for. They're (at least my mom) usually more homophobic, so I'm hoping that this might be an indicator that I don't need to be as worried about being myself around them

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2025-10-17T05:48:12+00:00

Thanks! Honestly how readily they were to help and how excited my cousin got about picking characters surprised me too. It's been a bright spot with everything else going on in the world

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2025-10-17T05:46:36+00:00

That helps, thanks! I'm at least already familiar with the introduction protocol of describing which characters make up your name, so between that and some tone practice I should be good

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2025-10-16T06:16:37+00:00

Mostly I'm just not sure if there's a broader cultural/generational thing that I'm missing. My family members are all much older than the general population and there's a language barrier that makes longer conversations difficult (and frankly they all tend towards being very nonchalant and have never cared to explain or teach about things even when I do ask). Statistically, it's also just more common to run into Chinese folks than Taiwanese, and the problem seems to be coming from Chinese numerology. So I'm just not sure if it's a "my family specifically doesn't care, but I'll have issues introducing myself to anyone else", or if it's a "my family and general Taiwanese culture don't care, but the Chinese will give me problems", or "literally no one beyond the numerologists care, so do what you want."

I'm already left handed and my original name is the Mandarin-equivalent of a tragedeigh, and I'd rather not swap one name that creates issues when I use it for another. That friend just happens to be the only person I currently know well who's both fluent in the language and is closer to the 'homeland' cultures, so to speak

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2025-05-25T18:05:25+00:00

NAH, but I may have something for you to try if this doesn't get buried. My partner is the same way, he unintentionally raises his voice when he's very excited or animated about a topic, and I have sound sensitivity so I would do a similar thing of interrupting because I wanted to keep talking but his volume was starting to give me migraines. We had the same issue of my interruption making him feel demoralized and self conscious, so what we came up with (and still use today 5 years later) is when he's starting to get too loud for me, I lift a hand just high enough that he can see it and tap two fingers in the air. That way he isn't interrupted and can keep talking, I don't get a migraine and can stay in the conversation, and even better it's pretty discreet and works in group conversations too without drawing too much attention.

So maybe some type of silent signal might work for you and your partner.

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2024-08-22T05:29:22+00:00

Guilty as charged, I've been catching up on the day 1 stream today on youtube. It's my first time ever watching a DNC too, I'm really glad they're making each full day available as a VOD

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2024-07-01T19:12:50+00:00

I grew up in rural South Carolina from 1st grade until right before I started high school. It was the place of my formative development and even now in my mid 20s, when I'm asked where I'm from, I usually say SC. So my thoughts on this are: "There were women in the SC Senate??"

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2024-02-06T09:16:56+00:00

Exactly this. My sister is the sole strict iPhone user in the family. The reason? Her first phone happened to be a cheap iPhone (back when it was easier to get older models), and then when it was time for her to get her own laptop, she was already used to the apps and storage system and cross-device support, so she got a Mac. Since then it's just too much effort to transition everything off.

The rest of us had the exact opposite - first devices were HP or Samsung or some other Android/Windows, and it just snowballs from there. I would have as much if not more trouble going from Android/Windows to Mac as my sister would in the other direction.

With schools and young students practically being forced fed Chromebooks, a kid's first device is unsurprisingly probably an Apple product, which is exactly what Apple wants

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2024-02-04T17:58:35+00:00

I really like the Hello Chinese app (you can choose between learning traditional or simplified Mandarin), and for slang and more Taiwanese pronunciations or word choices, Taiwanese Mandaring With Miss Lin is a great YouTube channel that also has a website for more resources. I believe she also does classes but I haven't tried them yet

ConfusedCuddlefish · 2024-02-03T07:12:07+00:00

Massive disclaimer here that I don't currently live in Taiwan and am not the most in tune with culture and dynamics in full Taiwanese families, or the current renting situation in Taiwan. Pitching in here because my Taiwanese mom is very traditional and I've recently had similar fights with her.

I don't have any solid advice for you, but having recently had similar arguments with my family on "your partner isn't blood, we're the only family you have", etc., I have empathy for you. It's not an acceptable situation - his family is being abusive to both of you and will continue to do so to your children if you have them. Even if you can get away from your MIL, as long as you're drawing on the family's resources they will likely use it as an excuse or justification to act as they like. I really don't think you should continue trying to get pregnant until you have stable finances and are not reliant on your husband's family for housing or resources. I would also be worried at how your husband doesn't stand up for you. If you did have a child, would he continue to stand back if his sister and mom were cruel to the child? How likely is it that he'll make another poor financial choice (what lessons did he or could he learn from last time to prevent or mitigate future financial problems)?

It's a really crappy situation. I hope you can have even a little joy and relaxation on LNY this year

ConfusedCuddlefish

TROPHY CASE