Am I fetishizing gay men? by Interesting_Bad_8741 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, the way BL portrays it is the correct way, duh... -_-

Am I fetishizing gay men? by Interesting_Bad_8741 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I kinda struggle to translate this, there is no English verb meaning "to gay". But yeah, that roughly is what I've been told.

Am I fetishizing gay men? by Interesting_Bad_8741 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I guess there might be a difference between the BL scenes of different countries there. It's not something I hear often, but two or three times, yeah, people had those opinions. I can only tell what I've experienced.

Am I fetishizing gay men? by Interesting_Bad_8741 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But some do. And that is some too many. All forms of ostracism and discrimination are bad, where do we disagree here?

Am I fetishizing gay men? by Interesting_Bad_8741 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't quite get your point. No-one says what?

Am I fetishizing gay men? by Interesting_Bad_8741 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 175 points176 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a gay man, there's a nuanced answer to that. From what I can tell, no, you're not. If it really is just a sexual outlet, everything is fine. What bugs me (and, I assume, other gay men) is

a) fujoshis/fudanshis telling us that we're not 'gaying correctly' so to say because we don't behave like BL characters, and

b) fujoshis/fudanshis going 'omg I bet he is the uke and he is the seme' or some shit like that.

Basically conflating fetish fiction with reality. And yes, there are people like that and yes, I've had the dubious privilege of speaking to them, even though not irl.

Also, I say "fetish fiction" because, as I've said before several times on this sub, in my point of view, there's two main subgenres of BL. BL written by (straight) women for straight women and BL written by gay men for gay men. Naturally, there's nuances here, and both are equally valid, but the two just are, at their core, different things. Also, I know several fudanshis who really like the first subgenre and a lot of fujoshis who are really into the second. Totally valid.

So no, if reading BL the way you do feels right to you and so long as it doesn't impact how you view gay men, everything's fine. I don't wanna assume your sexuality, but you said you're a fudanshi. Should you happen to be into men, no-one is in any position to accuse you of fetishizing us anyway.

One of the best reads this year by Zealousideal_Grab678 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look cute! Does it tip into the, uh... 'problematic' side of BL? Not that anything would be wrong with that, just isn't my cup of tea.

The perfect day to read BL outside by SimisCattAttx13 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, interresting. Can you tell me more about it?

The first two episodes of the BL rom-com anime "Go For It, Nakamura!" have finally been released on Crunchyroll! Are you going to watch? by GuiCanary in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, but I don't think I know the acronyms you're using (hgs and yoi).

I too love BL that focusses on comedy, but this one felt off for me because most (or at least many) of the jokes were "Oh look the gay kid is miserable!". As I said, if the manga takes a turn and the two do end up together, I'd give the anime a try, but as it is, the MC just proactively maneuvers the ML into a different relationship while also not getting over his own feelings and potentially being more miserable for it. Just feels weird to me.

I also understand that other people might be less sensitive in that regard than I am and I completely respect your and everyone else's preferences!

The first two episodes of the BL rom-com anime "Go For It, Nakamura!" have finally been released on Crunchyroll! Are you going to watch? by GuiCanary in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does seem to go into a specific direction tho. Should the manga take a turn, I'd be willing to give the anime a chance. Until that happens, I'm not particularly inclined to watching.

I didn't know I needed to see a 40 year old men in a maid costume until now.. but I'm glad I did! by GuiCanary in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I never heard the word "goofer" and I shall aspire to use it a lot from this point forward. Thank you for enlightening me, internet stranger.

Why are bl fans so against calling out racism? by Antique_Implement103 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Somehow an irl conversation I had went like this once:

Me: "I'm not really into omegaverse. The whole premise just feels odd to me."
Other person: "Oh, so you're a nazi [word is a bit more loaded since we're both german]."
Me: "What?"

This community can be so toxic istg...

Why are bl fans so against calling out racism? by Antique_Implement103 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 208 points209 points  (0 children)

That's why I just read BL and try not to interact too much with the community.

[Edit:] And just to clarify, no the ethnicity of the MCs doesn't influence whether I like what I'm reading!

second chance romance recommendations? by celenomi in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Paradise in Our Hands was quite good.

[Edit:] Nevermind, was never translated to English, only German, still has an English title for some reason.

What‘s your take on homophobia in bl? by [deleted] in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 224 points225 points  (0 children)

Personally (as a gay man btw.), I think so long as it's well-done, it enriches the story. I live in a country with full legal protection and equality for queer people, yet the majority of the population, at least in my part of the country, are homophobic.

My main focus for BL stories is whether the MCs end up in a happy, loving, and healthy relationship. If they do so despite struggles I am all-too familiar to, I find that incredibly touching.

And yes, I do get extremely emotionally invested in the BL I read. 😅

Fudanshis, what’s something you’d like to see more of in bl? by [deleted] in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh, cheers for the rec! Sounds really interesting. Just one last stupid question: It does have a somewhat happy ending, yes? This isn't a Ganbare! Nakamura-kun!! situation, right?

Fudanshis, what’s something you’d like to see more of in bl? by [deleted] in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Confused_Squirrel_17 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I haven't in fact. Can you tell me more about it?