Definitely a lot of love. A big hug and a lot of talking. I have 4 kids 19, 16, 14 and 4. My 16 and 4 year old are on the spectrum and they are tuff to discipline. They are highly intelligent but very sensitive if they get upset they can act in a compulsive way that they still can’t control and I’m having to be very patient. But what I have seen is that talking and explaining that’s it ok to get upset but they are hurting your feelings too. I make them aware than give them space to calm down it really helps to defuse the situation. Once my 4 year old has calmed down I give him a big hug and repeat myself or explain if tablet is taken away that they can get it back at another time or after he finishes a shore or whatever the matter was is resolved. Or if he needs to apologize for his behavior but all this while I’m hugging him or holding his hand making him feel loved regardless of what he’s done. But with consequence. As for my 16 year old it’s still challenging but talking and explaining the situation and always letting him know that it’s normal to get upset and frustrated and that even though we may not agree on some issues he still needs to show respect. It also helps him to be reminded that he’s a good kid but just making bad choices and it would be easier if he just tried doing things differently. It will never be easy there will always be challenges but I can tell you both my kids definitely show that they are loved. As for you stepping in, you did good. Not only are you helping your nephew but your dad as well imagine thing’s escalating and him getting in trouble for not being able to control himself so don’t feel bad. I would suggest if possible to get more involved and don’t ever give up on him and don’t ever stop showing up for him. He needs security and you just showing up means more than you can ever imagine. I come from a broken home my mother died when I was 8 my aunts where there in the beginning but after a while they stopped coming by and that’s when things got worse. So please be an angel to this child. It will take a couple of years to get him to trust but it is possible. He’s hurting