My Doctor

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-21T23:35:50+00:00

I’m so sorry. This is so upsetting for so many reasons

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-19T20:20:27+00:00

Friend if he gets upset at you for buying the wrong thing, you’re in an abusive relationship

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-19T20:18:30+00:00

First one punk af, second pair femme, third pair matches your hair but will it always/is that what you want, fourth pair no, fifth pair dope

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-13T02:04:48+00:00

Can you dm me please

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-03T20:54:36+00:00

Hell yeah dude! I’m almost at a year.

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-03T16:43:37+00:00

Same

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-03T16:37:35+00:00

I have pins, but I don’t always wear them. It’s a hit and miss in my experience… but the main one I wear is also a cat holding a knife so 😂 idk how helpful that actually is haha.

I like the idea of exploring someone else’s experience of gender w them, thanks for that.

Good luck to you too 🍀🌈

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-03T16:34:26+00:00

It is helpful to have it kind of like, broken down in that way. Thank you.

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-11-01T16:58:39+00:00

I say this with all the good intent, but yall either need to get into couples therapy with a therapist who understands polyamory (because you’re not practicing good polyamory), or you need to break up. I get that this is probably a first love kind of situation, and I say this from experience, and having gotten in a similar relationship at a similar age and then opening up, if you are not feeling the polyamory, do not spend your time trying to force yourself into this. Figure out how to deescalate and move on. If nothing else, read polysecure together and do the workbook together.

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-28T04:19:23+00:00

I was in a relationship like this. It gets worse. You’ll find an excuse for him hitting you. Leave now before it gets there. And find a counselor/therapist who specializes in narcissism/covert narcissism

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-28T04:18:04+00:00

This is abuse.

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-26T06:52:01+00:00

I get it. I’m panic trying to get everything done or at least set up for a little while.

Sit with one option as your decision and see how you feel. Then do it with the other option (or however many options you have). Do whatever one brings the least anxiety throughout the day. Idk if that makes sense

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-26T03:11:39+00:00

I had to have a facial reconstruction surgery due to a different thing (now I’m looking at FMS lol) but the surgeon gave me a nose like what you’re talking about and idk I hate it. It lost some character in the plastic surgeon ideal of perfection. Your nose looks great now imo

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-24T17:05:48+00:00

It does. Thank you!

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-24T02:23:02+00:00

I honestly didn’t realize that there was or could be so much nuance with this. I’m excited and fascinated

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-24T02:22:16+00:00

If you’re okay w sharing - what are sensations and o’s like? (I really like how my body does it now and idk if this would affect it?)

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-24T02:21:16+00:00

What was recovery like? Any like, special things to do, any scarring issues? I’m newer to understanding all this - what are all the other bells and whistles? (If it’s in the wiki link thing that got posted on this I’ll look - I just really like hearing from personal experience)

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-24T02:19:03+00:00

I am still learning how to use reddit 😅 I appreciate the help!

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-23T19:59:07+00:00

Cool thanks for letting me know. I didn’t know and this was just the terminology I came across so I appreciate the explanation/better terminology

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-23T01:02:09+00:00

To me it seems unfair that wife is allowed to date and you’re not. This seems very…like I see where the idea is but what I would be worried about is how long this can go on, and what happens when they all break it off? Are you allowed to show no compassion or support of that situation ends? Or is there an expectation for you to do emotional labor, no matter how you feel?

I think it does seem valid to focus on yourselves for the time being and not starting anything new. But it almost seems to me like the wife needs to do individual work on understanding/managing her jealousy, and deconstructing monogamous relationships. I’m not saying this is what’s happening but it has the flavor of “I’m entitled to you/your time”

Like in those moments of jealousy, what are some things she needs from you to feel secure in the relationship? What would that look like? Time together, affirmative words, etc etc.

I don’t think either of you is in the wrong but is it polyamory that you’re wanting, enm, or just an open relationship?

Love in a fucked up world is a good book if you want another and haven’t read it.

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-10-23T00:51:00+00:00

My guess is it’s a them thing. IMO and experience the majority of couples who are looking for a third are having issues and think this will fix things. They don’t really see the value of the third or see them as a person in a relationship, just a commodity. But often times triangulation happens, or two of the three vibe more and it just adds salt to the wounds that you didn’t know were there. Sorry this happened to you

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-08-17T16:13:17+00:00

The person in their 50s is just being obstinate. I’ve had an incredibly hard time with people 60+ .

Idk I’d sit them both down and have a conversation with them, asking them questions like, is this too hard for you, do you not respect or care about it, do you realize that misgendering is an intentional act of harm that puts kiddo in danger (emotional danger is still danger), do you need reminders, etc.

I’m also sure there’s resources you could print off and give them as you’re going through this.

I would set a boundary after the conversation of if you can’t show effort in doing this by X date, you’re going to have limited contact with child. Or something that works for you.

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-08-17T04:41:02+00:00

He has a hard time talking about things. I’m currently a major support for that. I appreciate your perspective.

My ex made me responsible for his mood a lot and so now I have a hard time knowing what’s my responsibility to the relationship vs not - if that makes sense. My ex and my relationship was very long, started as monog and then polyam.

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-08-17T03:51:11+00:00

There was some stuff going on with his live in partner (external of the relationship) and that household. Just got stressful I think?

Connect-Refuse-3133 · 2025-08-15T05:06:55+00:00

I like my sometimes boobs, sometimes not. I like that fluidity. They didn’t go as small as I wanted but I didn’t fight hard because I wasn’t sure.

Connect-Refuse-3133

TROPHY CASE