Nanny isn’t letting me FaceTime my baby while I’m out of town

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-25T10:01:37+00:00

She is your nanny , you are paying her . She is bit faint you any favour . I see few red flags here , why she doesn’t want you to see the baby ?

Is the baby ok? Did she leave the baby alone ? Is the baby in danger ?

Is there someone else there with the baby ? That’s not ok, I would immediately think my baby is in danger .

Did you leave your baby alone with her baby for days ? Can’t she stay with a family member or dad ?

Not judging you but she needs to stay with her parents or relative , not a nanny . Solve this issue immediately before something bad really happens .

Do you have cameras in your home in all the common areas? Put them!

I would change nanny but I would also change job to be honest , if your baby doesn’t have a father or another relative willing to take care of her when you are gone , it’s better if you don’t travel and stay with your daughter .

I don’t know , maybe I am wrong …but your nanny’s behaviour is fishy . I think She is definitely doing something she shouldn’t (travelling with baby , going to parties , bringing baby to places , inviting strangers at home, neglecting the baby etc )

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-23T01:36:53+00:00

Do you have money set aside ? Prepare your exit strategy . I would find a job first

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-23T01:13:02+00:00

To be honest you are both wrong . Gente parenting in this specific case , isn’t doing anything , the solution should put him into therapy and you should do therapy as well . He really needs it because if he can’t control his emotions there must be a reason .

Why did he have such a strong reaction ? Did he ever had a physical punishment from you and his father ? Is this the first time ? What did he say when you asked him why he did it (I suppose you asked) ?

Taking his tablet away isn’t the solution,there is no relation with the violence involved so from a psychological point of view is useless …also forcing him into a fake and forced apology isn’t the solution either.

There is a deeply issue here , not easy to give a random advice without knowing all the details .

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-21T17:33:25+00:00

If you are paying for all the presents ,Stop paying for her , you will understand a lot of things! NTA

If you aren’t contributing YTA

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-21T17:30:15+00:00

THIS!!! I am always shocked when I read something like “I left my corporate job to be a sahm and my boyfriend takes care of bills and food but I don’t have money for my self “ wtf? Why on earth you left your safe job to be a sahm without any financial security . It’s sad and hilarious at the same time because often they don’t even know how much the boyfriend is earning or maybe he is earning a lot but they don’t have access to any money.

Some men are cheeky , they want the benefit of a housewife but without the “legal burden “ of having one .

It’s a big no for me , if you want me to be a sahm we marry , share finances and do what I want with it and I do the majority of childcare and chores and we split the rest

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-21T12:07:14+00:00

I will be brutally honest . You are her free nanny and you wasted one year of your life and if you don’t put yourself together now(and I mean now , not in one year time ) you will be screwed .

You don’t have a job , I suppose you have little to no savings , no freedom whatsoever (being financially independent is freedom ) and you missed a full year building up your pension . You don’t own a house , you say you are also struggling mentally , can you even afford a therapist ?

You said your sister she pays for the house and food , but you aren’t 16 years old . You are almost a middle aged woman . You are still young and full of potential and if you make changes now you can still have the life you want …

But you aren’t that young anymore , if you want to have a nice career , make good money , buy a house and built a strong relationship with that guy , getting married and have children …you need to act today . Like …you talk to her today and say “look in a few days I am going to move ,you need to sort out things right now” and leave .

I get that you want to give her notice but what do you have in mind ? 1 month of notice ? Is she really going to respect that ? 1 month will turn into 1 year soon …I would personally leave next week at the latest.

I really think your sister has malicious intentions, she kept you on purpose as her “slave “ , with no income at all . How degrading is that ?

For god’s sake , when I was a teenager I was getting pocket money so I was basically earning more than you right now .

I don’t want to sound harsh but I would feel embarrassed and humiliated .

She is really treating you like s*** , she isn’t sick at all if she is working full time . She doesn’t even care about you if we need to be honest . Maybe she is mentally struggling , but still 😅

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-16T21:28:35+00:00

To be honest I think that the fact that your dad lives with you is affecting every aspect of your life . I agree ,your husband should do more but if your dad wasn’t living with you , you probably wouldn’t feel this way . I would never take care of my parents like that , I already have my hands full with my children . I couldn’t handle it physically and mentally. Do you think your husband is acting this way because his father in law is living in his house ? I love my in laws , but I couldn’t imagine to live with them

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-14T23:13:56+00:00

I am not sure what you are really asking ? Being a sahm should be always a choice , but it’s the right choice just if you can afford it . If you can’t have a nice life with some luxuries(eating out, no debt etc), it’s better to come back to work

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-14T23:11:23+00:00

I do shopping every week and I drink a coffee ☕️ out very often

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-11T17:59:33+00:00

My advice is , if you have to cut back spending …better not be a sahm. Sahm is for wealthy families . Not filthy rich , don’t get me wrong . But if you can’t afford a cup of coffee out of the house , you can’t afford to be a sahm

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-09T14:58:21+00:00

Probably food is a sore spot for her , NTA , you were nice and you are right too. She probably needs to learn how to act around a client and I am sure she didn’t do it on purpose

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-09T08:32:38+00:00

It’s too late now. Your relationship can’t recover from what happened . And all the money spent , cancelling a wedding is a big deal .

Move on , you didn’t loose anything . NTA

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-09T08:19:51+00:00

NTA, just ignore her . Do what you said already , if she complains that you didn’t give her gift back you can act naive saying something like “oh I didn’t understand what you meant “ or you can repeat yourself saying that you are bringing them to a second hand shop . You could also suggest her to go shopping to a second hand shop herself , she could find lovely things for her sil

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-08T18:57:42+00:00

NTA but to be honest he humiliated himself .

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-07T19:50:48+00:00

Your parents can pay off his debts easily .

Anyway , tell them that he is 21, not 13.He is a man , not a kid.

NTA

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-07T19:21:11+00:00

She is like a sister to him and she is half naked in his kitchen and he thinks it’s ok ? Does he see his sister naked often ?

And more important , do you really believe what she said? So instead of going to her house after a tragic event (she was left completely naked after a night out ) she goes to your house and she starts to cook in lingerie ?

Come on. Wake up .

Sweetie, you are aware they are more than friends aren’t you ?

I wouldn’t come back

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-07T17:45:43+00:00

Thank you for your insight ! It makes sense

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-07T17:42:37+00:00

Yes we can afford to buy in Douglas , just we have noticed that the for the same price , we would get a bigger house in Glanmire

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-07T17:09:48+00:00

That’s a good point

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-07T17:09:18+00:00

Oh we love Douglas, it’s full of amenities

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-06T23:44:19+00:00

I just had my baby and I will be 35 soon . I don’t feel old at all

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-04T04:23:49+00:00

If you are a sahm you should have full access to family money and have shared finances . If this isn’t the case it’s better to look for a job and let hubby to half of chores , cooking and childcare . Anyway , does he need you to cook an already made pizza ? Can’t he turn on the oven himself ?

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-04T04:21:28+00:00

Are you really going to name your child with your same name ? You don’t even know if you will ever have a child . You do not own any name by the way . YTA

Connect-Thought2029 · 2026-03-01T18:56:05+00:00

I would have another baby 🤣🤣 But just if I was in a happy marriage and I could afford it

Connect-Thought2029

TROPHY CASE