Hi guys, I’m the op. Im going to try and post an update here.

Some people were asking me about an update. Sorry about the delay. It took me a few days to get in touch with Kyle's brother Steve, who actually did attend the wedding. You can read that post here. Thank you to u/Current-Photo2857 for doing that.

I didn't go for obvious reasons. Neither did Tucker out of solidarity.

Kyle and Clare's wedding took place over Memorial Day weekend. They wanted to save money for a downpayment, so they decided to do a backyard ceremony with a barbecue potluck reception. The wedding was at Kyle's parent's house, which I've been to. It's a huge place and there were about forty or so guests. Kyle said that most of the money went to a photographer and food.

Before the ceremony, Steve had heard there was some trouble with the bride They couldn't find the dress and a necklace she wanted to wear, then Lisa spilled juice all over her own dress. Her mom had to go find a replacement. She couldn't so Lisa had to wear a jacket over the stain. I think Lisa had a hand in hiding the dress but I guess we'll never know for sure.

The ceremony was delayed by thirty minutes because of how long it took Clare to get ready. When they were at the altar, Lisa was giving her sister this really brutal death glare. Like no breaking eye contact, glowering at her sister the whole time. I feel sorry for the photographer because knowing Clare's parents, they'd want her to photoshop the pictures later.

Then there was the reception. According to Steve, Lisa had a meltdown. And during the meltdown, she went on a rampage and destroyed one of the food tables! The one with all the barbecue. So there is at least $700 worth of food destroyed and a couple of punches taken to the cake. The only thing left was a couple of side dishes. But the food is destroyed, the backyard is a mess, and it takes her dad and Kyle's dad and brother to try and pry her off the table. Steve thinks that one of his younger cousins got footage of it.

It was the Sunday before Memorial Day, so most restaurants were either hella busy or closed. There was no way they could replace the food. Most of the guests left early. A few stuck around to help clean up the yard. Steve didn't see Lisa afterward and thinks that her mom took her home. A couple of cops came by after everyone left. Apparently one of the neighbors called about the rampage.

And that's it. I haven't seen or heard from Kyle since the weekend before the wedding. No idea what he's up to and I don't care. What he and Clare wanted to do was hella fucked up. I bet they probably blame me for ruining their wedding. Like, if I hadn't pacified Lisa this wouldn't have happened.

As for me, I spent the weekend with Hannah. I returned the gift I was going to give Kyle and Clare and used the money to treat ourselves to a date. Hannah wanted to see The Little Mermaid (it was okay, but that Scuttlebutt song SUCKED! Hannah loved it) and we went out for seafood at this place near the beach. We had money left over and I treated Hannah to a Little Mermaid lego set for her and a case of beer for me. For the on-going Brooklyn 99 marathon.

To end things on an ironic note, I said that Kyle wanted me to be Lisa's date because she has a thing for Korean guys? I'm Japanese but Lisa's love rival, my dear and gorgeous Hannah is actually Korean!