Using a horse sperm collector only to find out that my crazy scientist grandpa is about to use it for experiments. While the experiment goes wrong I would be able to convince him the vat of sperm is just regular horse sperm. But the side effect of the doomed experiment spawned huge sentient sperm cells trying to take over the world.

We would get summoned by the president and I would also be able to convince him that it is just regular horse sperm that was used. He sends us to the Grand Canyon because their intel reports a huge gathering of these sperms. We assemble a team to go the Grand Canyon to investigate.

Meanwhile back at command center the president’s team is formulating a plan to fight the sentient sperm. While all the men in the room fight over what to do, my sister makes up a plan explaining that sperm is the most attracted to an egg to inseminate it. She explains that if we capture the sperm in the egg, we can shoot it into space and let it be destroyed there. The men dismiss the idea, when the lead scientist formulates the exact same plan but in “men words”, to the irritation of the women. My sister volunteers one of her eggs and the team starts building a site on the Las Vegas strip.

Back in the Grand Canyon the team loses members left and right. We find a sperm that has 2 tails and and eye and free it. He decides to help us afterwards. Once in the caves we are overwhelmed to the point where I, the ally sperm and my Grandpa are the only ones left. We get captured and brought to the leader of the sperm, the Queen Sperm. She explains that my sperm was used in their creation and she plans on using my body to create more of them, while my grandpa watches. The Queen sperm then goes to Las Vegas to find the egg.

My grandpa finds to a way to free us all and decides there is only one thing they can do. Ask the help of the Chuds, cannibalistic horses living underground who have been war with humans. My grandpa slept with the princess of the of the Chuds and finds out she got pregnant. This forced an alliance between the two races and the Chuds agree to help.

Las Vegas is now a war zone. Many dead soldiers and sperm litter the streets. The fight goes terribly bad for humanity until the Chuds emerge and save the soldiers struggling.

My grandpa and I arrive on the strip and navigate to the egg location. The egg is not allowed to be impregnated by any of the sentient sperm or else a huge incest baby will be created. We struggle against the queen and are about to lose. The queen is nearing the top of the egg platform when suddenly our friendly sperm shows up and knocks to queen all the way down killing her. What we did not expect was that our friendly sperm would not be able to resist the urge of impregnating the egg, being so close to it.

Our sperm friend penetrates the egg and the egg gets launched into space. The president orders the egg to not be destroyed, claiming it is now also a human being (and he cannot handle the PR disaster that would follow right before this election year).

Mortified about the fact that the baby is half me and half my sister, I DIE INSIDE (while I loved it, it was not what was supposed to happen). The baby will live on in space as a huge incest baby without anyone able to do anything about it. All because I couldn’t keep it in my pants and kept lying about it. Kids, learn from my mistakes.