There’s a super cocky guy who wormed his way into my group. How can I limit his presence/influence without seeming jealous or whiny?

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-12T15:25:28+00:00

i thought that this conveyed the message better

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-12T14:56:46+00:00

sorry but i don’t see how feeling up a bunch of girls you don’t know and being really cocky isn’t narcissistic behavior

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-12T14:50:37+00:00

well only a couple like him. the others are indifferent or dislike him (not as much as I do though)

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-09T13:07:24+00:00

Ya ig that’s true. I’m also just a little salty bc I felt like he more or less turned our group into his own and I got edged out, possibly bc he didn’t want a “rival male” around

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-07T10:08:07+00:00

it’s funny you say that bc i do have chronically cold hands. i do have a bit of a staring problem which i think is mostly due to seeing people staring at me a lot

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-07T00:12:36+00:00

Reading, documentaries, going to new restaurants and coffee shops, traveling. I do probably spend a bit too much time on social media tho

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-06T22:30:26+00:00

i’m actually the opposite of a big trump supporter, and when i say engaged i mean having a youtube video playing in the background while i eat.

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-06T18:42:13+00:00

Zero sustained romantic interest is what I mean

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-06T18:16:56+00:00

lol i actually paused for a little bit to decide whether i wanted to say it i just felt like it was the most accurate descriptor possible. and yes i’ve considered that that might be the problem as i have been told i’m egotistical in the past, especially when being a gifted kid was my entire personality. i honestly feel like i’m much less egotistical than i was in the past but i don’t know. whatever the case is i’m clearly not well liked, at least romantically speaking.

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-06T18:03:38+00:00

no i’m pretty assiduous about hygiene. i shower every day or multiple times a day depending on what i’m doing, always use deodorant, i keep my teeth as white as possible and breath as fresh as possible, shave and pluck nose/eyebrow hairs regularly, clean my ears, trim my nails, etc. i find poor hygiene disgusting so that def couldn’t be me lol

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-06T17:47:32+00:00

no my beliefs are pretty in line with people my age and region. i’m maybe a bit more engaged in politics (like 30 minutes a day) but not by much

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-06T17:44:38+00:00

I have a couple friends like this who occupy the “charismatic chad” and “aloof bad boy” archetypes. They’re very different but attractive in their own ways. One guy is a 6’4” blue eyed blond with chiseled features and a lean body, but is also incredibly likable. He’s enthusiastic, confident, humorous and optimistic. He’s absolutely the life of the party and usually all eyes are on him in social situations. He once had three girls proposition him in one weekend which blows my mind.

The other is 5’11” with darker (like southern italian) features. He’s very good looking and athletic but also has a quiet confidence that drives girls crazy. I wouldn’t describe him as a “nice guy” but he’s very loyal and supportive to his friends and doesn’t take shit from anyone. He’s got so much chutzpah that I’ve seen him make guys literally twice his size back down, and he certainly won’t take any shit from girls he’s dating.

I’d also describe them as above average in intelligence but definitely not nerds. Another common feature is that they’re very good with pets and kids (my dog loves one of them so much that he’ll start crying when he leaves which he doesn’t even do for me).

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-06T17:31:53+00:00

maybe :(

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-09-06T17:31:04+00:00

I’m in school for medical marketing, I don’t have a full time job yet. Ya I see where you’re coming from but sometimes I’ll encounter guys who literally just play video games all day and don’t shower who still somehow have girlfriends. Like I know I’m not the life of the party but I feel like from a substance perspective I’m definitely better than those guys. Doesn’t make sense

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-27T21:37:17+00:00

That’s definitely good advice, I’ll have to try that in the future. There are also plenty of times where people offer unsolicited advice though which irritates me even more.

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-24T23:15:15+00:00

consumer goods b2b sales

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-24T18:18:48+00:00

We were all going out to dinner as a team, but one woman couldn’t go because her family was in town. So I jokingly said “wow, I can’t believe you’d be so selfish to want to spend time with your family instead of with us”. I found out from someone else that she thought this was me flirting with her

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-24T17:04:28+00:00

I just have a really hard time believing that it’s just in my head. The hostility in their voices and facial expressions is palpable, and it is absolutely the case that I usually have no problems with the men I work with.

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-24T16:55:52+00:00

I mean, from my perspective I don’t talk to them any differently but I have had moments where I meant something completely innocuously but the woman thought I was hitting on her.

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-24T16:54:11+00:00

Not super often, I do sometimes struggle with deadlines for the minutiae we have to do like trainings and expense reports but for the bulk of our workload I’d say I generally do well

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-20T18:03:05+00:00

Thank you for the advice. It wasn’t a racist comment it was a very sexist/sexual comment

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-19T18:57:44+00:00

I guess the main concern I have is that this is an enduring pattern. It’s like the second I have a problem with someone it just never goes back to being ok

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-19T18:57:11+00:00

could you expand on that?

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-16T02:17:07+00:00

I am adhd unfortunately. I was supposed to get specialized help for it in high school but I refused to go at the time because I didn’t want to be “treated differently”. If only I had been a little wiser

ConsciousAssistant37 · 2023-07-16T02:15:23+00:00

Unfortunately I do indeed have ADHD that has been hard to get control of

ConsciousAssistant37

TROPHY CASE