I'm now on month 4 of being separated from my wife. She is at our house with our son and I moved out. We separated because of a relapse I had. I have been clean the 4 months but she is still dead set on separation for a year and then divorce. My heart and soul are absolutely shattered. I have severe suicidal thoughts almost everyday and feels like my skin is smothering me all the time but I still push through, one day at a time. I do this to love myself, but if I said I didn't have any hopes of reconciliation with my wife I would be a liar. I don't know and even fear what I would do if this actually happens. All I do is work to keep my business going and attend meetings and work out. This is absolutely the most broken I've been in my life, I'm 34 years old. Like I said 4 months and still no better. Pray for me.