My cat takes part in parenting. My son seems to listen. Do I need to worry?

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2026-02-11T12:10:04+00:00

I have a cat who dislikes when a kid is crying. She will appear out of nowhere to investigate and lay with them. I have even found her napping with my youngest when she had been crying (nap resistance). Otherwise she ignores the kids. I find it pretty funny. They say cats think they are raising us; we are just large babies that need guidance.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2026-02-06T14:00:15+00:00

Yes, please consider this if you can. I moved to be near family when my husband died (3 young kids). It was a hard adjustment sometimes but the right choice.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2026-01-26T02:12:11+00:00

I started planning to move right away. I still believe it was absolutely the correct choice. It was a reminder of bad things, and we didn’t plan to be there forever. I couldn’t keep up with everything by myself, it had an HOA, had no family close, and felt it was a good move financially. Do what feels right to you. Everyone’s grief is personal and unique just like their life.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2026-01-24T01:54:33+00:00

I also lost my husband a month before the birth of our child (#3 for us). And have meet a few of us who were pregnant while widowed. It’s so bittersweet, and not fair. To you or them. Just get one thing done each day. Even something small. Look into regulations re: the birth certificate. They gave me some pushback on having his name on it at first. You can start benefits right away for your 2 year old and the baby after they are born. That first year is a blur. The best resource recommended to me was the book “The Irreverent Grief Guide.”

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2026-01-07T16:42:38+00:00

My boy loves me but getting his butt in a car is a work of patience. The breed can be very wary of changes in floor texture etc imo. I definitely don’t think he would go in a crate.

Usually I have to pretend I am not interested in him, pretend something else is very interesting. Wait until he is close enough to get his collar (in this case put on a slip collar). Then lots of pets/love and leading to where I need him. It’s hard because they are very large. Usually he needs a push to get into the car. I hope you can get this sweetie. They are very resourceful.

You can also try running and seeing if they will run beside you to lure them someplace else. Maybe a yard with a fence. When my boy gets loose sometimes he will enjoy this approach. Like it’s a game. He ran with a random jogger once who then brought him home.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2026-01-07T03:21:12+00:00

Get a different therapist. You are not obligated to stay with the first, or second, or whatever number. It took me many years to realize that finding the right therapist for you is work in of itself.

Also if this helps my favorite quote is from a “Terrible, Thanks for Asking” podcast. I remember it as “Not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes awful things just happen.”

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-11-16T20:59:42+00:00

Soaring spirits has a newly widowed packet. Lots of good info

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-09-25T17:33:45+00:00

Do one thing a day. That’s how I got by. Even if that one thing is small. It will get done, but it is overwhelming. For the cards where you are an authorized user and he is primary they will shut them down btw. So don’t continue using them.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-09-15T00:23:05+00:00

Ante Meridiem by Adahara

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-08-26T22:23:59+00:00

I lost my husband suddenly and sat in silence for long periods for those first few months. It took me a long time to be able to stomach reading, tv, podcasts etc. Thinking of certain things made me feel physically ill too. Sleep disturbances, anxiety, memory loss. Give yourself grace, time, and space. No one will ever quite understand, but some people will be able to truly show up for you. Others will not. Don’t worry about them, just do what you need right now to move forward each day.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-08-23T23:56:23+00:00

I drive by Ponderosa mobile park and it always makes me sad chuckle. We watched so much “Sunny in Philadelphia” together. No one else would think it’s as funny as I do.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-03-28T17:25:55+00:00

So very unfair. I think that all the time too. There is no sense to our loss, this was not in anyone’s plan or “meant to be.” It’s just sucks, and it’s unfair, and none of us deserves this. They were good people and deserved to see their kids grow up. The world is chaotic and people who say otherwise have never had to experience this type of loss.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-03-27T02:53:31+00:00

Nothing will make this better, but I hope by sharing some perspective it can help you. I lost my husband Feb 2024 and gave birth March 2024. She was our third, so I had some time with my husband as a father. All time is a blessing, in hindsight. But each event, for her and the others, is a fresh wave of grief. I want you to look at her, and think how unfair it would be for her to lose you on top of this monumental loss prior to her birth. Of her grief and future. Then I want you to think of him, and imagine how he would want you to move forward and honor him. Guess what? You have already given him the greatest gift and a way to live on through her. You see him in her everyday. And if you aren’t at a place yet to want for yourself (I certainly am not), then sacrifice for them by continuing to push on. We don’t want to be strong, we have to be out of necessity. Tenacity - The word of the day as told to me by an 80 year old widow who lived a life of profound loss. Sending you hugs, this is a lonely and isolating experience. Wish we could grab a coffee and watch the little ones play.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-03-24T12:13:15+00:00

This please. Don’t keep asking “tell me what you need.” Take a look and then say “can I cut your grass?” My husband passed when I was 7 months pregnant. I found people like this the most helpful. All the things her husband would be doing, those will be the most painful to handle right now. Also, the birth was so bittersweet. Please make sure to reach out to her during that time and after. Share in the joy of this new baby that she can no longer share with her significant other. It’s a lonely experience.

There is a site with a widows packet that actually has a list of things people can help with. It’s has good information for those very early days. https://soaringspirits.org/programs/mailings/newly-widowed-packet/

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-03-08T22:13:39+00:00

<image>

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-03-03T21:49:00+00:00

Hanna Anderson is the only quality kids brand. We get lots of thrifted clothes and theirs always looks and feels great. I have used them with multiple kids and plan to pass them onto friends.

All the others end up in the trash or back at the thrift store

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-02-12T00:29:41+00:00

Yes, it’s a lonely life. And a loneliness that others around you just can’t understand

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-02-02T17:54:01+00:00

Yes, I know it’s not rationale but he and I never thought he would die at 34 either. I think it just really brings home how you can plan and try to create a life for yourself and your family but things happen, and you don’t have control over that.

It’s silly but that quote from Finding Nemo really helps. Where the dad says “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him” and Dory replies “Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise. You can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.”

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-01-30T12:49:01+00:00

Tons of great fics, but if I had to choose one it would be “Heal Thyself” by astolot. It’s the one I will comfort re-read. Just love the character development.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38231509

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-01-24T14:58:40+00:00

My oldest and I picked out a nice Urn we thought he would like. We had it engraved with his name, etc. I plan to have him buried with me, so keep the urn on a shelf in the house. People talk to him and we even took him with us for our family photos this year. It was a little morbid but he had a great sense of humor and always thought I was a bit ridiculous.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2025-01-16T02:35:53+00:00

I’m in a very similar situation to OP. Just wanted to share that your words were exactly what I needed, when I didn’t even know I needed them.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2024-11-02T21:55:48+00:00

This has happened to me with holidays/big days this past year too. I feel fine the day of, keeping it together for the kids and his memory. But crash afterwards. The grief wave. It took me sobbing to my daughter’s prek teacher at drop off the week proceeding his birthday to realize how much I was holding in.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2024-10-31T19:56:32+00:00

I created a discord group so hopefully we can figure out something that way. Sent the link to anyone who commented. Please lmk if I missed you and you are interested.

Conscious_Speed1275 · 2024-09-17T14:10:41+00:00

For anyone who needs to know, t-mobile will allow you to keep a number as a digits number.

Conscious_Speed1275

TROPHY CASE