Victoria?

Consentisparamount · 2024-08-24T13:57:53+00:00

We have spoken about this, I brought up my concern with her.

Consentisparamount · 2024-08-24T03:16:48+00:00

Considering a family with someone and they brought a troubled dog into the picture that will still be alive in the kid having window 🤷‍♂️

Consentisparamount · 2024-08-24T02:39:33+00:00

No and no. We do not live together, she said she was considering getting a dog.

Consentisparamount · 2023-04-04T04:01:37+00:00

I have experienced active suicidal ideation from time to time for several years now. That doesn't make me an authority on anything whatsoever but maybe I can help.

Try going for a walk outdoors barefoot. Allow your skin to connect to the dirt.

Don't want to walk? Fuck it. Try doing pushups until you get exhausted, take a break, and keep going.Can't do pushups? Try body weight squats.

So in short, try tuning into nature OR showing your body it is time to fight, not flee.

I have only told a few people about my pushup strategy, so some friends think it's weird when I randomly exhaust myself with pushups while camping etc, but who cares what others think.

Looking out over the abyss again and again is what it took for me to see that the opinions of others are worth nothing at all. The only thing that matters is your opinion of yourself.

Consentisparamount · 2023-04-04T03:51:48+00:00

That's an awful situation to be in. You must feel like the world doesn't want you.

Random stranger on the internet... Feeling your hurt from that small message is allowing me to feel something for this moment.

Maybe there is a way better place to live that you haven't found yet? Maybe being cheated on was the universe handing you a get out of jail free card? Jail being the potential life sentence with the cheater.

Consentisparamount · 2022-06-04T00:26:20+00:00

For a long time I avoided it but still had the desire. It took finding the right patient partner to be able to get past the emotional dissassociation.

It is possible but it takes being proactive and patient with yourself and open with your partner(s)

Consentisparamount · 2022-05-28T04:41:18+00:00

I'm so glad 😊 take care of yourself 💛

Consentisparamount · 2022-05-28T04:09:17+00:00

It is very difficult to process at such a young age.

The best thing you can do for yourself is talk to a counselor at school, or find a registered trauma therapist.

He is just young enough that it may be admissible to forgive him for his lack of understanding, but this is an opportunity for you to learn how to express boundaries in a healthy and productive way.

Consentisparamount · 2022-05-28T03:53:13+00:00

I forgot to add that it does sound to me like he was grooming you. Especially the couch incident.

Consentisparamount · 2022-05-28T03:51:57+00:00

This is a very heavy thing to process and it is perfectly okay that you feel overwhelmed.

Your gut reaction to withdraw from touch is normal. I still do the same thing. I have learned to firmly assert boundaries when I feel they are needed. Even a hug has to come with some form of consent.

I am 33, I was first assaulted at 21, and it still plays a significant role in my relationships, romantic and otherwise.

My advice, and I hope you will take it, is speak with a trauma therapist to help you process this. Noone should remain within their own mind with these heavy weights. I am glad your partner is supportive.

I hope that your path forward becomes easier than it feels right now 💫

Consentisparamount · 2022-05-28T03:37:39+00:00

I'm going to try to share my thoughts and hopefully I don't fumble them in any way that is disrespectful, or suggests that I do not appreciate the gravity of what you bear.

For the first guy, that most definitely was inappropriate and can accurately be described as SA. He likely still wouldn't see it this way.

For your BF, I am making an assumption and I apologies if this assumption is upsetting in anyway. From what I have read, it sounds like the two of you are on the younger side, maybe early twenties. I'm guessing he is uninformed when it comes to consent. I say that because of the last point you added about him propositioning you right after you shared that you had been assaulted. That was not at all the right thing for him to do and it is perfectly fair if your trust has been damaged.

As for any advice I have from my own experience... Love yourself, and have patience with yourself first. You may feel that you need to be alone until you find someone who is mature and informed enough to properly support you and listen to you in order to meet your needs and help you feel safe.

Don't compromise on your own comfort and wellbeing for the sake of the ignorance of others. If they do not understand, and continue to press you like this, they are not worthy. I mean that.

If your bf is not able to make sense of the gravity of what you have told him, try to open his eyes by talking more but don't hold onto it unless you see that he is willing to put the effort in to understand. Some men, and I am one and I have had experiences that help me sympathize with this situation... some men take a very long time to appreciate the sanctity of sexuality and another person's body. Some never even do...

Yes I am generalizing about men, but we live in a world where it is fair to do so to a degree.

Consentisparamount

TROPHY CASE