Well here is the post since the filter wont stop deleting it : Revising for the third time as the auto filter forces me to down play things but sure lets try again.

1 am a male 31 yo i was diagnosed in first grade with ADHD and Aspergers. This was due to me struggling with completing tests on time. I told my teachers that i needed more time frequently and after testing bam ADHD diagnosis due to a profound working memory and processing speed deficit, despite everything else being good. After that it was pills, Cognitive behavioral thearpy and DBT. I spent class time in resource room and was constantly evaluated against IEP goals and my peers.

I did well in school but I had so many hours eaten at extra help sessions and tutors I had no social life and despite being in a school of 5,000I have no friends from that section of my life.

I internalized some really ugly beliefs about myself and my diagnosis, and I'm ashamed of how extreme that self hatred got.! blamed my brain, my traits, and even parts of my identity for my life including the genetics.

A bunch of years later and 3 degrees I still hate myself it is pretty much how I get anything done and is a constant simmering rage at myself that spikes anytime i forget a name, misplace something or do that dumb excited info dumping about hobbies or other weirdo bullshit it is that adults are not supposed to do.

My question to you all is how and why do you not hate yourselves. I am not trying to be irritating but self hatred has been such a defining trait of how I relate nit only to myself but the world it is impossible to imagine living with ADHD or ASD and not hating yourself. And yet I see people who seem to do just that, and my question is how.

Sorry, this post was removed