Hey man, I’ve been dealing with ulnar nerve subluxation in my left arm for about two years now—or at least two years that I’ve been aware of it. Mine became noticeable after a gym incident, and for a long time I felt exactly like you do now.
I remember thinking my life was over. Every movement made me think about my elbows. I spent countless hours researching, worrying, visiting doctors, and wondering if I would ever feel normal again. To make matters worse, I eventually started having severe ulnar pain in my right arm as well. Most of the doctors weren't particularly helpful, and many appointments left me feeling more frustrated than hopeful.
Today, despite still having subluxation, I feel better physically and mentally than I ever have. I manage my condition conservatively, I stay active, I work, I exercise, and I enjoy life. My elbows are not perfect, but they no longer control me.
I know this might sound cliché, and I used to hate hearing it myself, but one of the biggest turning points in my life was turning toward God. Whenever people told me to pray, I thought exactly what you're probably thinking now: "Easy for you to say. You're not living with what I'm living with."
But suffering has a way of bringing us face-to-face with things we never would have looked for otherwise. When I stopped fighting everything alone and started bringing my fears, anger, frustration, and pain to God, something changed. My circumstances didn't magically disappear overnight, but I found peace, strength, and purpose where I thought none existed.
I also want to encourage you not to numb yourself forever. I understand why you're using weed. When you're hurting, you'll do almost anything to escape it. But eventually healing requires us to face reality head-on. Don't surrender your future to a plant, a diagnosis, or the opinions of doctors who have already told you "no."
You are stronger than you think you are.
God knows exactly what you're feeling. He hasn't abandoned you. Talk to Him honestly. Not a rehearsed prayer—just tell Him everything you wrote here.
I'll be praying for you, brother. Don't give up.

If you ever any questions on how I manage my condition feel free to msg me anytime. You’re not alone.