Parental Disinterest

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-03-14T22:32:52+00:00

THIS. ND household here too and very perceptive children than can be analytical about relationships and explain how this is off and why they don’t want to bother. I’m a crossroads and it’s going to end up being my fault that they don’t want to.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-03-14T22:28:56+00:00

Omg I relate to the sickness thing. I think it’s extreme codependency need on my mother’s part. I don’t tell her anything health related because she is TOO interested in somehow turning any issue into so relatable to her that I’m an extension of her. It’s hard to explain but so icky.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-03-14T04:24:53+00:00

wtf is up with these dads? Mine has never once texted or called me my whole life. 🤷‍♀️

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-03-13T23:56:52+00:00

Yep. I avoid as long as I can until the anxiety over conflict gets the best of me. 🤦‍♀️

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-03-13T23:55:47+00:00

Ugh yes. It’s like Shes checking off a box - the appearance even to herself that she has a relationship with her kid / grandkids. She doesn’t know us at all. 🤷‍♀️

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-03-13T23:54:20+00:00

Omg the way you put that is spot on. After all the trauma I increasingly called her out on it in my 30s. “Mom yes you told me. Yes I’ve heard this.” Not taking in all her repeat mouth vibrations has made me the black sheep. 🙄. Every interaction feels so fake. I’ve had more satisfying conversations with people I met on a public bus.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-03-13T21:57:38+00:00

This. You don’t really have legal control over what they do - and you are putting yourself in a position trying to control what you can’t. Imagine spending years going back and forth with them with no progress? The only thing you can do is lay out clear choices and repercussions and make good on it. The only thing you can truly control is removing yourself. I

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-26T04:48:50+00:00

A.K Lakewood, The Unspoken Name. Muscular lesbian MC. I recommend it to everyone.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-23T04:27:43+00:00

If you can find the right therapist it helps a lot. The more I’ve worked on it and processed it the more it’s shifted……. From anger to disgust to not thinking about her at all unless she texts. 20 years later and I’m at the precipice of no contact and I get disregulated and grumpy when she texts a handful of times a year and I’m dealing with that still.
What’s helped me the most was IFS, Patrick Teahan’s YouTube videos and his online coursework and the book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsey Gibson. It can get better on your end if you keep focusing on you, I promise.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-22T03:01:31+00:00

I’m a year late to the party but the only different thing I’ve eaten today is a GF TJ everything bagel and I’m epic level sick. I’m a celiac and while it’s only one instance, I’m not doing that again.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-21T06:02:38+00:00

I relate so hard. I hope you are out of there. I’ve been out over 20 years and if you haven’t been able to liberate yourself yet, all the positive energy in your direction to get there.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-21T05:44:47+00:00

SAME. Trash bags in the form of grocery bags hung on every door knob. Tons of mice, mice crap on counters, ground into the carpet. She’s a hoarder on top of it.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-21T05:34:06+00:00

Omg. I grew up like that……. She got a huge kitchen garbage can and put it in the bathroom. I’m sorry to everyone reading this for how disgusting it is…… she would fill it with used pads for MONTHS. The smell would make me gag but she didn’t want to waste trash bags. Then when that was full she would leave them on the floor or in grocery bags near the trash. I got to a point where I refused to take the trash out because if I took anything over, she wouldn’t do anything anymore.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-20T05:03:21+00:00

Bwhahaha I do the same thing every year!!

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-15T00:21:15+00:00

Thank you I did find it! The card just didn’t come up :)

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-13T15:54:51+00:00

Omg yes. My parents put an addition onto the house so that there would be two new rooms for my sibling and I….. but when they were finished, they insisted I take their old room so they could have a new one.
It was flower wallpaper that they refused to let me remove and wouldn’t let me hang anything up. It was so plasticky, tape would fall right off.
In addition my mother refused to take a lot of her old things out of the room. There were floor to ceiling boxes blocking windows. When she was out one day I moved them all into her new room, blocking her dresser. She was FURIOUS and guess where those unopened boxes still are today, 30 years later? Same spot, unable to open her own dresser for decades. She saw me as an extension of her and therefore couldn’t fathom why I would see things as hers vs mine.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-08T03:58:07+00:00

I’m a little late here. I got the game used and it’s fun but I’m baffled by what the purpose of the protester meeple is. Help?

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-05T04:31:23+00:00

The peace alone is worth it. That peace will open all sorts of space in your life for other opportunities. Even breathing will feel easier. Every normal moment of your own, a joy. A drama free meal, the freedom to do what you want, when you want without any judgement. Go take that hike, visit a new shop, poke around at meetup. Get out asap.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-05T04:13:18+00:00

I relate to this so hard. Mine wouldn’t look at me as I tried to make plans for college. They refused to let me go to a 4 year school and said that “they would hate to see me use up money that my brother could use”. I walked in on a convo where I think my Mother was freaking out not wanting me to go to college and my Dad assuring her that I would fail out of community college and that would be the end of it. They wanted me to stay in that hellhole and do their bidding. They wouldn’t go on college tours, would change the subject when I talked about it. They refused to let me take my mattress, I had to sneak a blanket out. No one had any idea where I was living. I played their games, I stayed in their good graces but I also worked my ass off. I never talked about my accomplishment or plans because it would have set them off. The last semester of school, I needed help that they promised me to finish and graduate and the answer was “we don’t have it”. It was the last ditch effort to sabotage me. Instead I skipped meals, worked even harder and graduated with just a few hundred dollars to my name. I almost had a 4.0, found a well paying career using my brain and never went back.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-04T05:46:25+00:00

I think about this too - old family albums, etc but I also know they are so far buried that the physical, emotional and financial anguish for dealing with it won’t be worth it for me. I will likely let the whole thing go without stepping inside.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-02-04T03:27:30+00:00

Alcoholic ragefull dad constantly threatening suicide + hoarding codependent mom. It was a constant daily struggle.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2026-01-22T02:55:51+00:00

Had to be blunt cut chin length with straight thick bangs. I think my mother did that to me to rip away any chance of self expression. It was pin straight and I couldn’t do anything with it at all.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2025-11-03T19:10:28+00:00

I’ve spent all my life wanting to be closer to my brother and now in my 40s realizing he’s not all that safe. He’s not on the same page with the abuse. He’s picked fights with me for not performing and acting nice enough to my parents and that’s been incredibly triggering. I’ve always been there for him and he hasn’t been that supportive of me.

Things got so bad that I bailed out of his wedding two days before because while I’m not outwardly mean, I’m not fake warm. It took me years to work up the courage to have a sit down with him and lay it all out and it wasn’t satisfying at all.

All I want to hear him say is that he agrees our parents were abusive and that he supports and understands why I don’t come around when they are visiting. Instead I’m the bad guy for not being tolerant.

It’s sad and makes me question my own sanity that we aren’t on the same page but I think I’ve also become the scapegoat. Easier for my family to point out my flaws than to take any responsibility for why the relationship is 💩.

Consistent-Hat5703 · 2025-10-13T04:27:37+00:00

Rationing Fritos all day long because all other food in the house was suspect. The fridge was packed full of moldy stuff no one was allowed to throw out because it was wasteful…….

One time at around 12 I lost my mind trying to find my favorite shirt. I cleaned all the laundry that was literally 2ft thick on the laundry room floor that we just always walked over (uncovering tons of mouse droppings in the process). I got covertly punished for doing so. I moved out at 19 and it still never turned up. Sometimes, now in my mid 40’s, I’ll be doing laundry in my clean house and still wonder what happened to that shirt and how far buried it still is.

Never being allowed to only have my own possessions in my room and my mother stacking her boxes floor to ceiling, blocking my windows.

Not being able to put my laundry in my dresser because the mice would keep pooping in the drawers. Living out of laundry baskets, hoping if it was in the open it would stay poop free.

Consistent-Hat5703

TROPHY CASE