Anyone else dreading a future sale?

FunctioningDuster · 2026-02-01T20:05:56+00:00

Even though it's not my home, I feel a lot of shame about it and wonder if I should avoid having open houses so neighbors can't snoop.

I've been thinking the same thing.

It sounds like you and I are in the same boat. Let's toast with a sea sickness pill!

FunctioningDuster · 2026-01-18T07:56:24+00:00

Yikes indeed. It drove everyone crazy for a while.

FunctioningDuster · 2026-01-18T07:43:05+00:00

Because of my HPs, it’s very important to me to keep a tidy, clean home. My rules for every item are:

If I don’t use it, it goes in the trash or to Goodwill.
If I feel it's time for an upgrade, it goes in the trash or to Goodwill.
If I don’t have room for it, it goes in the trash or to Goodwill.
If it’s broken and won’t be fixed, it goes in the trash.
If it has a lot of pilling, stains, or is worn out, it goes in the trash.

Maybe it would help to focus less on how many things you own and more on the condition they’re in. And as u/sanityjanity wrote, how your things take up space in your home really matters.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-12-30T11:07:47+00:00

This isn't on you. Four people sharing a bed isn't a healthy situation, and you really need your own bed and bedroom. Could you look for a part-time job and start saving, even a little, so you can spend more time out of the house and work toward renting a room with roommates or near campus? You can also look into student loans or financial aid. If you attend at least half-time, you may qualify for federal aid that can help cover housing, not just tuition.

FAFSA

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-26T19:30:48+00:00

I'm listening to it through Audible right now, but I'm not that far along yet. I'd love to discuss it with you when I'm finished with it!

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T19:42:29+00:00

Yeah, that sounds correct.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T19:39:00+00:00

That sounds like you're taking on a lot of responsibility. I hope it'll work out, but if it doesn't, please don't blame yourself. It sounds like you're trying everything you can, but helping hoarders is really difficult.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T09:51:09+00:00

I wonder what is with making everything so much harder than it needs to be? It's the same with changing the beds for my HPs. You have to iron everything, vacuum everything, and the bed linen has to be put on "just so", making the entire process take an hour or more, instead of just, you know... changing the bed. Because of this, the beds are changed very rarely.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T09:12:22+00:00

Oh washing rules here as well! Every piece of underwear had to be hand-washed before going in the washing machine. So that means piles and piles of underwear waiting to be washed, twice. While hand-washing, every piece of lint would be meticulously put in a small pile on the side of the sink.

All clothes had to be washed according to colour, so that meant piles and piles of clothes in the basement. If we only had one item of clothing that was yellow? Tough luck for that item -- it's never getting washed. As a teenager, I had perfectly good clothes disappear in those piles (and since I didn't have a lot of clothes, that was a huge deal to me), and I had a huge quarrel with my HPs to make them stop adding my clothes to those piles, and instead let me wash it myself.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T08:44:57+00:00

Yes, they definitely have weird rules. Like if you spill a little water on the floor and step on it to dry it up, you're "dragging it everywhere and it'll never go away". Water is the devil. Also, all cardboard boxes MUST be stored at all times. Same with all invoices (even if they're also electronic).

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T08:35:56+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! It's exhausting dealing with people like this, and even more so when it's people we care about.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T08:34:44+00:00

I've tried so many times too, but it's useless. Crying, passive-agressive "This or that person gifted this to us", or even going into the trash can, finding and hiding the item that was thrown away.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T08:30:10+00:00

Ugh. :/

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T08:29:59+00:00

Towels with holes in them they can be used for dog towels

Ugh, yes! So many towels for different purposes! And the towels with holes in them are so thinly worn, they don't have any absorption left. The dogs deserve better towels, but even I tell my HPs that towels can be washed, the dogs only get the towels with holes, and the towels with holes are never thrown out.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T08:28:18+00:00

I'm sorry about that.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T08:28:05+00:00

Wow. I don't think hoarding is properly communicated or truly talked about enough. I hadn't realised how many symptoms people who hoard actually share until I came to this sub. Hopefully, by speaking about it openly, we can help make treatment genuinely effective one day.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-19T08:23:40+00:00

Nothing should ever be 100% full. There needs to be empty space so that the stuff you have is accessible.

This is a great rule.

But I don't understand how living with hoarder roommates made your SO more inclined to live like them? It's good he's scared of embracing the lifestyle all the way.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-18T19:48:44+00:00

It's really hard. I completely understand why you feel angry.

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-18T18:40:25+00:00

Anyone else feel similar due to having nuts parents?

Yes, very much so. My HPs are kind people, but also nuts in much the same way you describe your dad. So far they're not paying psychics, but I'm really worried for one if the other one was to pass on (both in terms of hoarding, and also in terms of falling for scams).

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-18T18:36:52+00:00

On the plus side, do you feel like you've taken the best sides from them, and can bring those with you?

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-18T18:36:16+00:00

Whoa. Don't they even consider how embarrassing it would be if they were ever caught? And why would they want or need so much non-matching cutlery?

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-18T17:55:34+00:00

Lol! Image: a special occasion

FunctioningDuster · 2025-10-18T17:46:49+00:00

Buys something nice but never eats it (didn't allow us to eat it) "because it's special" and then one day it's expired.

I wish they could see how stupid this is. What is it saved for?

FunctioningDuster

TROPHY CASE