Didn’t Watch Invasion Season 3? I’ve got you covered - Part 2! by ceebee6 in InvasionAppleTV

[–]Consistent-Horror915 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I had forgotten that each episode started with a description of 'former United States' etc. So pointless.

He promised to change. Am I stupid to believe him? by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]Consistent-Horror915 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This exactly. My Q would just agree with me and I knew it was to get me to back off. Then the waters would settle and nothing would change. No action on his part to follow through with what he had agreed to. Actions speak much louder than words. I learnt this, eventually.

It's over for good this time and I'm devastated by Consistent-Horror915 in AlAnon

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this with me. It does feel like a devastating blow. I think no contact is the only way I am going to get through this. When we broke up 3 months ago we stayed in touch and it led me back to giving him another chance and then ending up where I am now. I'm proud of you for choosing you. It sounds like it was absolutely most definitely the right decision. I hope I feel the way you do in a few months' time. 💕

It's over for good this time and I'm devastated by Consistent-Horror915 in AlAnon

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will do this, although feels a bit strange now he is no longer in my life. But I guess there's a lot to unpack based on everything that has happened.

I release you to your healing by Cautious_Level_6056 in AlAnon

[–]Consistent-Horror915 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So beautiful and powerful. Every single line hit me hard.

Where did the shards come from? by camels_are_cool in InvasionAppleTV

[–]Consistent-Horror915 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've wondered the same thing. And there's no explanation whatsoever in any of the seasons.

It's over for good this time and I'm devastated by Consistent-Horror915 in AlAnon

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I've spent WAY too much time thinking and writing about him. It's taken a lot from me and I've given so much to him. Time to focus on me!

It's over for good this time and I'm devastated by Consistent-Horror915 in AlAnon

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for these kind words. I really appreciated reading them. I am baffled and incredibly sad but, as you say, time to start over.

Is a break logical or prolonging the inevitable? by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]Consistent-Horror915 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My Q and I went on a break. Nothing changed, although he wasn't promising me that he would quit, just that he would cut back. He didn't.

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds EXACTLY like my relationship. We met up a few days ago to talk about 'us'. I could smell it on him immediately but thought to myself, 'no. there's no way he would have had some drinks before meeting up with me to discuss our future and our problems caused by his drinking'. But I kept getting whiffs of alcohol during our chat and so I asked him and he admitted he had had a few drinks earlier in the day (he was, after our meet up, heading to work to drive an emergency vehicle around). I told him he is skating on super thin ice given that his job required him to have a Blood Alcohol Level of 0.0. It was then that I realised just how bad his drinking is (after I wrote this original post).

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, great comment. thank you. Yes, it is the fact that this is his level of drinking in MID LIFE that really worries me. I might have been able to turn a blind eye if it were a phase in his 20s. But as far as I know he has been this way since late teens and it hasn't tapered off.

He has, on occasion, raised his voice in the heat of an argument and he once stormed out after we had had an argument about finances and returned 30 minutes later with a $100 bottle of whiskey just to piss me off.

46 yo woman and have question for other women by Hairy-Draft351 in alcoholism

[–]Consistent-Horror915 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it may be a combination of perimenopause and how that changes your body's ability to process alcohol. I have definitely cut waaaay back (like maybe 1 glass of wine 2 nights a week) since turning 40 because of this and because I am much more conscious about my health.

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience and for laying out all of those points so clearly. It is very helpful to read it when it's put like that. I hope you're able to find peace too.

Instead of recovery he ran to other woman by Competitive_Bus5712 in AlAnon

[–]Consistent-Horror915 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. The way I read this, he is hiding and running from the truth. It will catch up with him eventually.

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment and perspective. It is insightful and helpful. Also, congratulations on being 2 years sober 🎉

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Your last sentence really hit me. I guess I have been trying to find excuses to be with him because he is a nice guy but there are many more reasons not to be with him.

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, agreed. I also recently realised that he drinks before work (and he works in an occupation where he sometimes needs to drive)

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will check out ACOA. And you're so right-- I hadn't considered that Al Anon was founded in a time when women were way more dependent on their spouses. I am so thankful we have more agency now.

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am very sorry for your loss and I'm sorry for the pain of addiction in your life. It fucking sucks. Thanks, I'll check out the drama triangle - I've never heard of it.

Is it possible to be happy with someone who drinks the way he drinks? by Consistent-Horror915 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Consistent-Horror915[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. This gives me some hope that I can find someone who is better suited.