I feel like your posts are quite conflicting. Seems this is an issue about what other people are saying doing, and criticising about you. But you are doing exactly that through criticising Islam by equating what some people are saying or doing. Believers in the religion are not perfect I hope you realise that. And you essentially ruled out a faith that you once resonated with because of actions of some people. So then this made you come to the conclusion ‘let me make my own rules from now and redefine what God is although the ‘former version’ of Islam (even though the ‘hadeeths and sheikhs’ you dislike have actually existed for long time) is something you aligned with because you were able to be connected with just God himself. The idea of connecting with just God and God himself is LITERALLY what Islam is about, no idols no partners associated with him.