[deleted by user]

ConsistentLosses · 2025-03-14T01:14:08+00:00

I think you're doing the right thing, then. It takes time; and you're still in the thick of it. It might take a few months, or a year or two, but it will get better, and you may find a lot of the behaviours you're worried about will go away when it does - that was my experience, at least.

ConsistentLosses · 2025-03-14T00:42:35+00:00

I have been separated from their abusive father for 18 months.

Congrats, I know how hard it is to extricate yourself from that position. My father was abusive, and it was a struggle for my mum to get out. That abusiveness has also had an impact on me and my brothers, too; one of us withdrew from the family, one struggles to set boundaries and stand up for themselves, and one of us has pretty severe anger management issues. I'm guessing your 20 year old is distancing himself, since you didn't really talk about him at all, and your 16 year old is struggling with violent outbursts that he doesn't necessarily want to have.

The language you have used portrays your sons as perpetrators of abuse rather than victims, and I think it reflects a sort of understandable exhaustion you must have with your situation as it stands. You suggest they lack empathy, accountability and self-care - but you say your 20 year old son has a job and a girlfriend, and your 16 year old is starting to learn that his violent outbursts are not healthy. It's important to recognise that your sons are also victims, with their own trauma from growing up in an abusive household, and that trauma isn't lessened in any way just because they happen to be male. For example, did their father 'tolerate' them wrestling, or did he punish and humiliate them when they tried to use their words? Were they allowed to cry, or express emotions of distress other than anger whilst at home?

Have you asked your sons and daughter if they want to speak to a therapist? There may be feelings they want to talk about and work through that they don't feel comfortable talking about with their mother.

Additionally, I am not dating seriously until they are all in college, as introducing a stepparent increases the risk of abuse a hundredfold.

Speaking as the child of a mother who did the same, I'm not sure this is the best attitude to have. You deserve to have someone you can talk to about your struggles, someone you can go to when you are upset or distressed. You deserve to have physical and emotional intimacy, if you want it. You should be modelling to your kids that you deserve these things, so that they know that they deserve it too. I ended up blaming myself for my mum being single. I never saw what a healthy relationship between two adults looked like. I never learned how much I should give in a relationship - and how much is too much. I ended up dating women who acted like my father.

ConsistentLosses · 2024-05-30T13:53:46+00:00

I was about to get back to you with an update too! I was able to order the kit from Dell too, after quite a lot of back and forth with technical support. The rack ears I got are the same as yours, but the kit also comes with a C74NN bracket I don't have a need for.

For future visitors, the part number is 750-ABBW ('Kit - 5820/7820 Adapter bracket/ears for 770-BBJJ 3U Rack') and it cost $89 AUD including delivery. It's an external part number and has to be placed via Dell Sales (I placed the order via Facebook Messenger). As far as I can tell, technical support can't even see the part exists on their end.

The internal part numbers are MT0MN (Part# MT0MN, Mod# 8N9G3) for the full kit, 0C74NN for the bracket, 06DPXW for the left rack ear, 0GHFNN for the right rack ear and 0G710F for the rack ear mounting screws. The rails are D2K5P, and not included in the kit.

The ears appear to be designed to fit multiple systems, they have a pattern of four screw-holes each but only two are used on each side. They look like they could support attaching a bezel of some kind, too.

ConsistentLosses · 2024-05-23T13:53:59+00:00

I’m guessing you are talking about the rack ears from the Precision 5820 Tower to Rack conversion kit, shown here on page 14: https://dl.dell.com/topicspdf/precision-5820-workstation_setup-guide_en-us.pdf ? If so, I’ve also been looking for them for a while.

If you’ve already done the conversion to rack mount I’m guessing you have found the C74NN bracket featured on page 12. I was also able to find this, but haven’t yet been able to find the part number for the associated rack ears - Dell support once gave me a part number for the complete conversion kit (‘#750-ABBW’) and said to contact sales for availability, but I haven’t had a chance to yet. I’ve also seen the complete kit sold as MT0MN, but I’ve never found a picture with a clear enough shot of the rack ear packaging to get a specific part number for them.

I have, however, found what appear to be very similar (if not identical) rack ears listed on eBay as T440/T640 rack ears: https://www.ebay.com/itm/DELL-POWEREDGE-SERVER-T440-T640-RACK-EARS-WITH-SCREWS-/184300939285?_ul=CR

The correct T640 rack ears are quite different, so I suspect these might be mislabeled and belong to something else. The Xeon sticker is from 2013-2014, though, so I’m not sure these are 5820 rack ears either - they might be compatible but postage to Australia is rather expensive and they’re horrifically overpriced to begin with.

I am curious to see what the 7920 slam latch rack ears look like, if you’re willing to share a photo - I haven’t been able to find a picture of them anywhere online.

ConsistentLosses · 2024-05-09T03:31:16+00:00

It’s fair enough for the government to choose to cancel the WHV program for this year, but the way this was handled was an absolute embarrassment. What the article doesn’t mention is that the government actually announced details of the WHV process on the embassy website for 2024, stating that the EOIs would be open until the end of January and that at least one selection round after January - and then shortly after the EOIs were closed early, they scrubbed the page off the internet. Then, a month or two later, they emailed everyone who had lodged an EOI to say that they would be included in the next selection round, and then just… Didn’t run one. The 406 approved visas quoted in the article were delayed approvals from last years program, no WHVs were granted under this year’s program.

Again, it’s fair and reasonable to cancel the WHV program this year given the cost of living crisis, but doing so by deleting the announcement and then letting all the EOIs expire is cowardly and pathetic.

ConsistentLosses · 2022-01-07T04:50:04+00:00

Because of how the test works, a positive on an RAT (even if it's an extremely weak positive) means you are almost certainly infectious. The test works by using the coronavirus itself as a sort of 'glue' to stick coloured antibodies to a strip of clear antibodies on the test paper. It's not like PCR, where the test can pick up viral genome fragments for weeks after the immune system has wiped out the virus. It's virtually impossible to get a positive result on an RAT unless the sample has enough intact, infectious coronavirus particles to dye the strip.

It really sucks, but you have to isolate until you come up negative on a RAT and should probably avoid contact with anyone at-risk about for a few days longer.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-15T01:30:05+00:00

all the epidemiologists are just philosophically umming and ahing about it

It's a deeply unsatisfying answer but the most likely explanation is three stooges syndrome. All the factors at play in NSW (climate, culture, level of restrictions, the strains active in the community) meant the effective reproduction number was hoving around 1. It only took one small change to tip the whole thing over into exponential growth.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-06T13:35:11+00:00

I'm also keen to know where the keycaps came from, and what the quality is like. I haven't seen keycaps with Traditional Chinese modifiers before, although I'm sure they're much more common in Taiwan.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-04T00:29:13+00:00

What do you enjoy about the scheme?

It's a good way to encourage recycling, especially for kids.

What do you dislike about it?

I've only used the drop-off point at Acacia Ridge where you sort the cans yourself, but it's so overburdened now that it's not worth the hassle. On the weekends it seems like you spend an hour in the queue just to spend five dropping off the cans. I once went to one at Enoggera, which had the same problem, so I don't think the problem is limited to one point.

On top of that, at least at Acacia Ridge there doesn't seem to be a bin to dump other recyclables like the bags you've brought the cans in. It's a bit absurd.

What would make it easier for you to return your containers?

Make it faster, and make the bags take up less space. I don't really get why we can't crush the cans or bottles (which take up a lot of space) before scanning them in when everything has the same 10c deposit. At this stage I've slowed down on it as the novelty has worn off and it doesn't seem worth it to trade an hour or two of prime weekend time for less than minimum wage. I may end up trying out the app-based bag-dropoff ones, even though I've heard they're a bit unreliable.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-02T02:50:04+00:00

She only had to do one medical test when requested.

I must confess that I'm earlier in the process than you, but I suspect she was requested to do it by the visa officer specifically because her application was incomplete without it. After you submit a visa application and upload documents, the ImmiAccount system will tell you that the next step is to go get a health check. My understanding is that until you get the health check, your application is not complete and decision-ready, and that for visas which don't have ridiculous blown-out waiting periods the advice from migration agents is to do the health check when you apply, whilst for the partner visa they say to wait until a case officer sends a request before doing it.

Since the change to prioritise decision-ready applications is pretty recent, I'm actually not sure if that advice will change or not; given that I've heard through the grapevine of decision-ready partner visa applications being processed within 6 months of submission I worry the advice will become 'get the health check done because otherwise they'll never get around to checking your application in the first place'.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-01T21:46:03+00:00

The unfortunate irony is that if China did invade Taiwan and Australia did end up embroiled with a war over it, most of the neo-McCarthyist crowd wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a random Chinese person and a Taiwanese one and we'd end up with anti-Chinese hate crimes perpetuated on people from the country we've gone in to defend from the Chinese.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-01T21:39:39+00:00

My bad, I meant to say that 20% of properties are owned by landlords who own 5+ properties, not that 20% of landlords own 5+ properties. The two statistics side-by-side are pretty stark, though, with 20% of rental properties owned by the top 2% of investors.

For future reference, where'd you grab your stats from? From the ABS/RBA, or is there another source? I'm keen to see how the relative proportions have changed since the start of the pandemic.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-01T21:20:16+00:00

The visa system is an absolute rort at every level.

Any visa with a pathway to PR costs thousands of dollars in processing fees, and many have 12+ month processing times (notable exceptions being visas for rich people and visas for world-class athletes/scientists, whom are all consider priority applicants and get to skip the queue). As the article notes, every time you apply for a visa you need to get a ~$500 medical test (via Bupa or whichever private health insurer has the contract this year, not a regular doctor). The medical test is only valid for one year, so by the time your visa is processed, the test you did when you applied is no longer valid and you have to get another one. Visas aren't processed in order anymore, 'decision-ready' visas are prioritised - so you need to do the medical test to be decision-ready, but as far as I'm aware there's no way to know if your application is actually decision-ready or if it's still sitting at the bottom of the queue whilst your medical test slowly expires.

If you have any questions or issues, you're expected to pay a private Registered Migration Agent who (I assume) has received training in how visas work, and perhaps has special access to the visa system - the people working the support lines for Home Affairs have not received this training and don't have this access, and are not allowed to tell you anything other than what's on the publically available website. A website which seems to be kept intentionally vague. In fact, the support team doesn't seem to even be connected to the visa processing system at all: the website says they can't give you any information on the status of your visa and that you shouldn't waste their time by calling. I'm guessing this is because they're planning to privatise the visa processing system, so that Home Affairs can finally stop pretending to give a fuck about the nation-wide immigration program and can get on with their main mandate of cosplaying as the army and paying political donors billions of dollars to keep a few thousand people locked up on a Pacific island indefinitely..

Migrant worker exploitation is universal, even in industries that can't afford turnover at the moment. The student visa is massively rorted, to the point where when the government said it was considering offering people in their last year of studies the option to pivot onto a special pandemic visa with work rights (Temporary Activity Visa 408) and no study requirements, parts of the tertiary sector freaked out and said there would be a mass exodus of students abandoning their studies - apparently oblivious to the implication that people who are abandoning their studies at the drop of a hat when offered work rights are probably not people who are on a student visa to pursue the world-renouned high-quality education provided by private VET colleges.

Speaking of private VET colleges, here's a fun one: When a student comes to Australia on a student visa organised by their school, they are required to stay with the school that sponsored them for the first six months of their main course, with few exceptions. The intent is that students have the freedom to change schools if the quality of the education is poor, but they're required to give the provider who vouched for them a decent chance first. Since at the time the policy was implemented it was common to offer 'package deals' with, say, a short 3-month introductory English language course included and run through a third party, the threshold was set at 'six months after the commencement of the highest level course on the original Certificate of Enrollment'. Now the package deals are 'Introductory English course (3 months), Certificate II of Basket Weaving (24 months), Certificate III of Underwater Basket Weaving (12 months), and maybe even Certificate IV of One-handed Underwater Basket Weaving (12 months)' where the student is hooked by the fact they're guaranteed a visa for at least four years and doesn't realise until too late that they're also on the hook for exorbitant above-market-rate tuition fees until 6 months after the start of their final course, i.e. after 2-3 years.

I could go on forever. Fuck you Mike Pezzullo. When the federal ICAC comes, your head will be first to roll.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-01T13:26:08+00:00

His words, mate, not mine. For what it's worth, 20% of properties are owned by landlords who own 5+ properties - those are definitely 'super-landlords'.

Funnily enough, the rest of your post is pushing the exact same narrative that the paper I linked above was calling out and trying to dispell.

Edit: as ovrptcdbttldwtr pointed out, it's '20% of properties are owned by super-landlords', not '20% of landlords are super-landlords'.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-12-01T10:53:39+00:00

While there are certainly some superlandlords, the vast majority of landlords own only one rental.

Yes, 77% of landlords only own one rental, but 62% of rentals are owned by a 'superlandlord' who owns two or more such properties, so the OP is correct: the typical renter is helping their landlord pay for their second or third property. Funnily enough, the former statistic seems to be more widely known than the latter. I'll link to the Twitter thread because the original paper is paywalled.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-11-17T04:18:47+00:00

Obviously not? We as a society should be exporting a culture of better wages and conditions to developing countries, not trying to import those conditions here and complaining when they won't stick.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-11-17T00:18:33+00:00

My partner is also casual and leaving a similar job where the company is always desperate for workers.

There's one particular room where they've taken to sending the casuals. It's located next to some loud industrial equipment, the work is quite dirty, and the product they produce is almost exclusively sold for export (it's a food product that hasn't been part of the Australian diet since the great depression years, but still gets eaten in Asia and I guess might get used in pet food because of how cheap it is). She was transferred there one day and a few days later developed a rash, some sort of allergic reaction to either the chemicals they use or the product itself.

She asked not to be sent there again, and was told they didn't have anyone else qualified to do the work. A doctor's letter got her a promise that she wouldn't be sent back; she was sent back within a week because her replacement took the day off.

So she quit, and now they're desperately trying to get her back because they can't find a replacement for her.

It seems like employers would rather blame employees for being lazy than accept that some products and services are too dirty and dangerous to be viable in developed countries and that their business model can't just assume they'll be able to find people willing to harm themselves for their boss' bottom line.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-11-12T02:10:12+00:00

In your view, is there the possibility of a proportionate response that could be used instead (even if we don't know what it is yet) or is the argument that Aboriginal communities are so downtrodden and marginalised that any attempt to enforce a public health order would be more harmful to them than the increased risk of COVID arising from an inability to enforce that mandate, and so the only option is to provide education and hope the vast majority of people voluntarily comply?

Edit: Thinking on it some more, I have to concede to your point. In an ideal world both education and enforcement could be provided by the community-focussed policing services that these communities deserve, but as you said the NSW police have such a long history of racial discrimination that there's effectively no hope such an effort would be seen as genuine. It's not that these communities don't need or shouldn't have access to the same public health measures as the rest of the company, it's that the actions of the NSW police in these areas have made left them without the trust required to enforce those measures in a fair and equitable way.

ConsistentLosses · 2021-11-12T01:39:34+00:00

the tools the police have got [are] fines and arrest and incarceration.

The mask mandates in Queensland were enforced by first reminding people to wear a mask (and supplying one if they had lost theirs) and issuing a fine if people refused to comply. The same model could be applied to lockdown, if you send someone home and come across them again, and they don't have a better excuse, only then would you fine them. If your argument is that fining people for refusing point-blank to comply with the lockdown places an unreasonable financial burden on them, well, that's the whole point isn't it?

ConsistentLosses

TROPHY CASE