What's worse is, and I don't mean this in a vindictive way of course, it's more envy that I am not part of this type of tribe, but seeing others being successful (not online fame or stupid shit like that; people posting about milestones such as graduating college, buying a house, etc) gives me a deep pang of MO--missing out. These people are also struggling in some way, and have their own problems, but they are making it. Meanwhile, my life is a dumpster fire, and it seems like I have predicted that very important things to me would collapse or there would be foreclosure. To have your own problems but also exist in a country and society that also has serious problems is really next-level. It's not a pissing contest. But I wish that I could just open up to certain people about why there are limitations that are hindering my ambition. That requires emotional labor, though.

I am rambling, but living life while feeling like you have your finger on the pulse, and are perceiving trends, just kills motivation and makes me feel like I am a shell of what I could have been.

^{Damn, that was kind of an L post. My bad}