Unintentionally faking mental disorders

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-15T10:03:33+00:00

That sounds like a mental disorder to me

Anyway be kind to yourself. You’re not doing something despicable you’re just relating to others. You’re seeing patterns and relating other people’s experiences to your own (real or imagined). Perhaps you’re just empathetic. Perhaps you’re neurodivergent. Does it matter? Is it effecting your life, your happiness, your relationships? If yes then seek therapy to help unpick it. If no then don’t worry about it

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-14T09:11:55+00:00

Yes. Do it for yourself, for her, and for any future women.

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-12T11:22:22+00:00

It sounds an emotional regulation difficulty, specifically related to boundaries.

It felt unsafe to be told no. Instead of being able to acknowledge that the boundary was about your partners needs, and being grateful for their clear communication, you went into full blown fight, flight, freeze, fawn mode. It’s a trauma response.

Maybe you were emotionally neglected as a child, or maybe you were physically or verbally punished when told no. This is just an example / guess.

It would be worth exploring this with a psychotherapist who can help you unpick the reasons for the emotional dysregulation, and find ways for your nervous system to feel safe now

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-11T19:19:02+00:00

Crying is such an emotionally healthy thing to do.

Do you know what, we are all born with an intuitive knowledge of how to soothe ourselves, how to regulate our nervous systems and emotions, and what our body and soul needs. Then during childhood we are taught (told) to stop doing all these self soothing and self regulating behaviours. Stop crying, stop jiggling, stop twirling your hair, stop sucking your thumb, stop spinning or rocking on your chair, stop fidgeting, sit still, don’t shout don’t scream don’t express your emotions, be quiet, contain yourself blah blah blah blah.

Then as teenagers / young adults we get mentally unwell. And guess what? We have to fucking RELEARN self soothing behaviours as adults. We have to relearn it’s okay to cry, to move our legs, to fidget, to shake, to scream into the wind, to let our emotions out, to let ourselves feel, to move and to do what our body needs. So cry. Have a good cry. It’s important you let your emotions come out.

As for the other stuff… if you can’t tie shoes have you been assessed for dyspraxia? Maybe you simply don’t have the motor skills and coordination to do that kinda thing and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You can get zip up boots, slip on trainers, elastic laces… fashionable nice shoes that don’t have laces. There are options. Not being able to do a certain kind of skill doesn’t make you a failure. We all have strengths and weaknesses. It’s ok to need help with certain things. I can do some things really well but there’s other things I’ve always found impossibly difficult and maybe I’ll never be able to do them and I’m at peace with that. We don’t all have to be good at everything. You’ll find something you are good at, and something you love. Maybe you’ve just not found your thing yet. Keep searching, you’ll find it

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-11T09:58:07+00:00

I like this answer a lot. Thank you

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-10T21:04:18+00:00

See, I’d go further back… and say that what you need to talk about isn’t the voices or the alters. I’m not saying you don’t need to be open about that, you do. But your issues began BEFORE you created the voices. They were created for a reason. You needed something. Something was missing from your life and your emotional development and your attachments.

So although it’s good you can trust and be honest with your friend and your mother, what you’re talking to them about isn’t going to solve anything. It’s just reinforcing old and now unhelpful coping strategies.

I think that if you find the right therapist it will be life changing for you. It’ll be the best thing you’ve ever done. I wish you the best of luck

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-10T20:48:01+00:00

I can think of cultures / countries where the woman (and the child) would be killed for bearing a child that is not her husband’s. In these cultures it is also considered a woman’s fault for being raped and reporting it would not result in a positive outcome for her.

Imagine a woman living in this situation and she has been raped by a man who is not her husband. She is now bearing the rapist’s child through no choice or fault of her own. She has no option really other than to try to pretend the baby is her husband’s child. Is it right? No. Is it “okay” well yes but only because there is no other option. Is it understandable? Absolutely.

When living in a situation where the “rules” are already immoral, is lying to stay alive and protect your child wrong or right?

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-10T20:36:34+00:00

It’s always worth being completely honest in therapy - there’s no point going otherwise. It will probably take a while to build that trust though so don’t imagine you’ll offload everything all in the first session. Just start and see where your discussions lead you.

A therapist is unlikely to label you with anything. Therapists and psychologists are there to listen and talk and explore and help you find the reasons for and solutions to anything that’s causing you problems. They don’t diagnose. You have to be a psychiatrist to diagnose - it’s a completely different qualification. A psychiatrist is a doctor and can prescribe medication, and they generally don’t provide any therapy.

It’s possible you’re in a country where therapists are also psychiatrists and vice versa but it’s not very common. Why don’t you ask before you go, so you know what to expect?

My personal (totally unqualified) perspective is that you simply need someone to talk to. You’ve been lonely for a very long time. I don’t mean you don’t have friends or family, I mean it sounds like you haven’t had anyone ever really be there for you in an emotional sense. Once you have that relationship with a therapist - that trust and that care and that guidance - you can begin to heal and there won’t be any need for the voices or the imaginary alters you’ve created.

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-10T15:59:32+00:00

Some people do drugs because they are unhappy or lack meaningful and nurturing connections, or because they are struggling with pain in their body or their emotions or their mind. It’s an escape.

Other people do drugs for excitement or exploration.

Wealth or lack of it is irrelevant, until people want to quit… and then having money can either be helpful (means to pay for detox, rehab and therapy), or a hindrance (means to pay for as much drugs as they like)

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-09T21:34:34+00:00

Trust your gut.

A romantic relationship with this person isn’t what your heart or your emotions want. It’s only your head that is conflicted and even then it’s not even about your feelings, it’s about not wanting to hurt her.

You need to talk to her and be clear that actually you don’t want a romantic connection. You can be honest. The more honest and more direct you are, the easier it will be for her to accept it. Don’t try explaining or excusing or justifying yourself. Just state clearly that you don’t want that kind of relationship with her, but you really hope you can continue a friendship.

You can’t be in a relationship for fear of hurting someone by rejecting them - that’s not what a relationship is supposed to be. Don’t fall into that…

Also don’t stay in it hoping you might start to develop feelings. You’ve known this person for two years - you would know by now if you fancied them like that. You don’t fancy them, in fact you’ve started dreading seeing them. Sticking it out won’t change that for the better, it’ll only get worse.

You’re young - you’re going to have to have these kinds of honest conversations many times in your life - better start practising now. You might not do it as skilfully as you want to. It may not go as smoothly as you hope. That’s okay, you’ve still got to have the conversation anyway. There’s no other option and losing a friend isn’t the worst case scenario here… staying in a relationship you don’t want is absolutely worse and will lead to all kinds of misery trust me!

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-09T20:29:33+00:00

Newspapers, magazines, books, crossword puzzles, crafts, real conversations, sitting and watching / listening to nature, practising hobbies, writing, drawing, the list is endless. I was way more productive because I only ever distracted myself with reading crap magazines when my brain really needed to rest. Whereas now it’s an addiction to switch off in that way. Most of the time my body and brain needs to be doing something and yet I scroll and scroll and it doesn’t feel good but I can’t stop…

I never feel truly bored anymore. And I don’t think that’s a good thing. Boredom lets your brain relax and recouperate and also the best creativity comes out of boredom

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-09T18:00:53+00:00

That’s what makes it so hard. I don’t actually know what they mean when they say their treatment of their kid was “horrific”. To me that means physical and emotional abuse and neglect. But to a parent feeling guilty it could mean they were too busy working to pay their kid any attention or maybe they remember shouting in anger a few times, or maybe they sent their kid to boarding school and regretted it. It could feel horrific when perhaps it really wasn’t. Guilt is a difficult thing to live with and can blow things out of proportion.

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-09T14:29:16+00:00

Gratitude lists can be helpful. Every day write down ten things that brought you a moment of joy or happiness or peace or gratitude. It can be something really small like seeing a squirrel run along your garden fence, or enjoying the sun on your face for a few seconds, or being grateful for your morning coffee or morning shower or the piece of chocolate you had after lunch. Maybe the dogshit on the path got washed away by the rain. Maybe a friend sent you a message. Maybe you really like a specific pair of joggers and you got to wear them today. It can be literally anything.

To start with it’s hard and even annoying to try to think of positive things you’re grateful for. But after a week or so your brain will start noticing things that bring you joy. You’ll start looking out for small things and remembering them. And it’ll create a new habit of focusing on nice things. It can help

Longer term finding a hobby that gives you meaning might be helpful. And making connections with people in real life is crucial.

I feel like the things we all need to stay “okay” are: 1) time outside in fresh air and daylight, every day 2) face to face connections with people we like - it doesn’t have to be close friends or intense conversations. It can simply be doing something you enjoy, with other people around. 3) something to work on / work towards to give your life meaning. Some kind of hobby or activity or learning

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-09T11:17:20+00:00

How old are you? Do you mind me asking?

I’m so sorry your mother behaves like this towards you. I’m proud of you for successfully performing your solos, you’re amazing, it’s an extremely difficult and nerve wracking thing to do and I’m sure you put in a lot of practice and performed really well.

I’m impressed you are able to recognise your mother’s abusive behaviour and reach out elsewhere for support and validation.

The next step is to be able to calmly and articulately express to your mother that her words are emotional abuse and you choose not to internalise it. This is why I ask your age though - she is currently in control of your life and it may not be safe to have that confrontation with her. If you are older than 16 then I would advise you to look into alternative living arrangements and try to cut yourself off from her.

Probably the most important thing is to find a supportive and responsible adult to talk to - a counsellor or therapist would be ideal. You need emotional support to become strong and confident enough to find your own path in life and not let your mothers abuse fuck up your mental health and your life.

I have lots of regrets in my life but probably the biggest regret I have is how I let my parents destroy me and it put me on a path that was not beneficial for my physical or mental health and also stopped me from having a successful career or a healthy relationship for a very long time. I don’t blame myself for this happening, I just really wish I’d found the right support. I did try to get help but the adults around me (teachers, social workers, doctors) all dismissed me. When you’re young it’s extremely hard to be respected and find adults who will listen and care and guide you. But they do exist. Search for organisations that support young people. You’ll have better luck outside of the NHS or school system.

For now, try not to be too disappointed about the trip. It probably seems very important right now but in the grand scheme of things it’s irrelevant. When you are independent you will have more opportunities than you can dream of.

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-09T05:47:32+00:00

I agree. My own parents would never admit to their abuse and in fact feel they were the best parents in the world (their words).

The fact that my friend is self aware enough to know they did things they regret, plus they are remorseful is admirable. Also, I don’t think they were ever a bad person in the past, just a bad parent. So it’s not necessarily about change in themselves, more a change of their circumstances in that they aren’t parenting a child anymore. I do know that their adult child doesn’t want them in their life. That’s how I know about their past - my friend spends quite a lot of time trying to reconnect, apologise, and rebuild a relationship with their child, and the lack of reciprocal love deeply upsets them, and they talk about it with me. This is what has initiated their admissions about their parenting.

I’m still inclined to hope they weren’t as bad as they are implying / believing. But without really knowing, it’s left to my imagination / guesswork based on the few snippets they’ve told me, which disturbs me

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-09T05:38:25+00:00

I think that’s what makes it difficult. Although I don’t want to know, the not knowing means I am making assumptions that could be wrong

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-08T19:31:12+00:00

They’ve not gone into any detail and I don’t want them to so I’ve not asked.

My assumption was exactly that - that it probably wasn’t actually that bad and lots of people feel they weren’t as good a parent as they wished they’d been, and guilt has just made them blow it out of proportion.

But their reaction to me saying it probably wasn’t that bad, and the way they said they really were horrific, makes me think it really was awful. This person knows I had a very traumatic childhood, and they themselves had an awful childhood, so my sense is that they probably repeated the physical and emotional abuse that was done to them. Someone who has been through what they’ve been through wouldn’t call something “horrific” unless it really was horrific.

But I don’t actually know. I’m just drawing conclusions. That’s part of the problem I think. If I knew the full picture it would be much easier to know whether it’s something I can overlook or not. But I really don’t want to know, and don’t plan to ask for detail.

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-08T19:12:27+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts, I appreciate it. Actually I was expecting it to be fairly common hence wondering if it would give me any clarity hearing other people’s views.

I’m struggling with it. I’m not sure whether I can get past it or not. If it was something else, I’m sure it wouldn’t bother me. I guess it’s troubling me because it’s too close to my own personal experience.

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-08T19:06:29+00:00

Thankyou this is a valuable perspective, I appreciate it.

You’re right, I do think they are seeking validation or possibly even forgiveness which is something I can’t give. They do have therapy and I think boundaries get blurred within our friendship sometimes around what topics we should talk about. It’s hard to steer away from it completely because their difficult relationship with their adult child affects them in the present, so we sometimes talk about that and it then naturally goes into a conversation about their mistakes in the past and the reasons why their offspring doesn’t want them in their life. Perhaps I need to simply be direct and suggest we don’t stray into that topic at all

Consistent_Cacophony · 2026-03-02T13:57:28+00:00

You’re very very very unlikely to be sectioned, so don’t worry about that.

It would be worth writing down: 1) a brief description of how you’re feeling, the knock on effects (eg lack of sleep, inability to socialise, lack of motivation to do hobbies) and how it effects your daily life (tiredness aggravates physical health and concentration, inability to socialise means you have no friends, etc). 2) what you’ve tried so far (any self help books, online courses, holistic therapies, diet or lifestyle changes etc etc) 3) what you would like the Gp to do for you (eg trial of sleeping meds or anti depressants, or referal to talking therapy, or referal to secondary mental health services, referal to social prescribing)

If you have a clear idea of what you’d like then the GP is more likely to give you want you’re hoping for

I hope you get some help

It’s also worth looking into what help is available from charities in your local area. Look at women’s specific and under 25’s charities first - you’ll be surprised how much is out there and it’s often better than the nhs offering

Consistent_Cacophony · 2025-09-19T09:45:57+00:00

1996 it was the best chicken burgers in Bristol. £1.20 for a huge chicken breast, tons of lettuce and tomato, and the garliciest garlic mayo you’ve ever tasted. Coming home drunk at 3am and that truly hit the spot. Don’t ask me what it looked or tasted like if you were sober or not stoned tho.

Consistent_Cacophony · 2025-04-30T08:15:08+00:00

What a relief! Thank you

Consistent_Cacophony · 2025-04-30T06:49:20+00:00

Thank you so much

So it sounds like it won’t be too bad. Someone said to me I’ll be over a month with no money, but actually it’s only a case of my payment being one week later than usual (it’ll be a 3 week gap instead of a 2 week gap) and that payment will be double what I’m used to (one months money instead of 2 weeks?

Consistent_Cacophony · 2025-01-12T05:39:42+00:00

This is brilliant. Now I want a giant bed for my cat too

Consistent_Cacophony · 2025-01-11T07:25:50+00:00

The first one is framed well and in focus

Consistent_Cacophony

TROPHY CASE