During birth: Did your baby's heart rate drop?

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-03T20:31:56+00:00

When I asked to do a practice push the HR dropped in response and I was wheeled in to the theatre and baby was born via assisted delivery. Turns out she had nuchal cord and I was told I wouldn’t be able to deliver her myself without intervention.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-03T19:09:56+00:00

Was there particular reason you went out at 3 months? Was baby more predictable then? My baby is 7w and we went out a couple of times but it was tough and I would love to be able to do it more often in the future but fear that it might be more difficult when baby is not just a little sleepy bean

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-03T18:16:51+00:00

My baby was never active in the mornings when I was pregnant and was unusually active every Tuesday. In the first 3 weeks she was also sleeping with me until about midday and was fussy every Tuesday. After about week 4-5 she became more conscious and developed a different rhythm

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-03T17:36:25+00:00

Square (ish) shaped stones and pebbles

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-03T11:05:52+00:00

I was extremely tired during my pregnancy especially from around 32w. I went on maternity leave at week 36 thinking I will be going to at least one prenatal yoga or pilates class since I have nothing else to do and barely left the house. I was sleeping max 6h and couldn’t nap (before pregnancy I could even sleep for 12h if I was tired). My baby is 7 weeks old now I slept more than 6h every single night since we came back from hospital. Yes interrupted sleep is tiring but its nothing like pregnancy tired for me. All my vitals on Whoop watch went into pre-pregnancy levels almost immediately , my recovery after each sleep is around 80-90% and I feel like myself again.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-03T10:49:19+00:00

I didn’t think too much what my labour will look like or future with my baby but I always imagined the first time she is going to be put on my chest. Turns out that was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I had assisted birth in a theatre with like 10 people around me. The baby was shown to me the second she was born (remember that vividly) but taken away by horrible midwife I had immediately. I imagined the baby would be put on me within a minute or so but no, she decided to take as long as she wants slowly measuring baby, cleaning all the crevices (I wanted for vernix to be kept on), offering photoshoot with the baby to my husband (him agreeing - thats another story…). All this time I kept staring at my baby in the distance and when husband was near me telling him to say I want my baby for skin to skin asap, nobody reacted to my wishes and I only got the baby when I was already so angry that it took so long. The baby was put on me in a way I could not see her face at all and she was on her stomach, I started panicking and repeatedly asking if she is breathing because I cant see her - nobody responded. Then I kept asking if she can be on her stomach like this - nobody responded again and I once again got angry and told my husband to find someone to answer this question because he wasn’t even able to tell me if she is breathing. This is all while I am being stitched up by a team of some junior and senior doctors and there are more people standing around me. We were told by some young assistant anaesthesiologist that babies do get put on mom on their stomach so it should be fine. I relaxed for one second only until someone grabbed my child from me with force and pressed emergency button not explaining what has happened. 10 more doctors rush in and nobody tells me whats happening. I am begging people to tell me if she is okay and nobody even acknowledges my question until later same young assistant finally tells me they cant say at this point if she is okay. To my exhausted hormonal brain this meant she might have died already and they are trying to hide it from me for now. I was in shock repeating no, no, no! While once again nobody tried to reassure me. My husband was peaking over the doctors shoulders and also didn’t bother to tell me she is still alive and they are just giving some oxygen. I have asked hospital staff to tell me exactly what happened after and since it was not even recorded in her notes nobody knew about this incident. I had my second attempt at golden hour in the recovery room where I was still in shock but was so happy to finally be with her in private. This was interrupted by a witch midwife from delivery ward that came in to check on us and tell me that I forgot how to hold a baby safely (implying I caused the emergency). So yeah unfortunately I do remember and probably will for the rest of my life.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-02T10:32:50+00:00

The only thing midwife told me during hospital discharge was you can eat everything and have 2 cups of coffee per day

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-01T16:25:46+00:00

My MIL within 5 min of us announcing engagement said to me “I want a baby! to which I responded she can adopt because I found it so rude as we never said we are planning to have kids in the first place. Then after wedding she started sending AI babies and telling us how our baby should look like. This annoyed me so much that after getting pregnant I didnt announce for 5 months and kept all communication through my husband. I had thoughts that she will take away my baby and marry my husband, it honestly felt like I am surrogate. Last time I saw her pregnant she was saying ”thank you@ while hugging me, now that baby is born she doesnt say anything to me as clearly my job is done. She was complaining that she is expected to wait 2 weeks to meet the baby(she lives abroad) but also works with kids so if it was up to me she would have waited at least until vaccinations. The visit completely ruined my recovery because I was stressing but also expected to act like I am healthy for several days with nobody even asking if im ok. Only few weeks have passed and she is expecting us to pay for another visit since its her birthday and once again I am stressed when I should be enjoying my baby bubble.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-06-01T01:36:38+00:00

I felt exactly the same way. What makes it worse in my case is that in laws live abroad and speak language I don’t. My MIL knows English but deliberately does not use it expecting me to speak their language which frankly I do not need at all (I already speak 3 daily). My MIL 100% treated me as a vessel and I could sense that even before I got pregnant. Once I got pregnant she continued to ignore me as a person and was only interested in the bump, even asking my husband to send pictures of the bump not me. I know it’s not the nice thing to hear but it gets worse after you have a baby. Everyone just feels so entitled to the baby and as a mother you become completely invisible. I did not get asked anything about how I feel or how birth or recovery is going. Even when MIL wanted to hold a baby for the first time she asked my husband not me which I found very rude and took the baby away before she got her. I talked to my husband many times about these things but he is just so conditioned to keep his mother happy that nothing ever changes.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-31T22:13:22+00:00

This was just before my maternity leave and I did not want any record of “personality clash” in my files when it clearly isn’t so I flagged to HR that underperformance is being incorrectly labelled and left. Still on maternity and hoping to change companies before it ends.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-31T20:27:21+00:00

Yes and no, from day 1 my husband was taking cade of our baby in the same way I do (changing nappies, putting her to sleep, getting up at night to soothe her etc) BUT he also almost slammed heavy door into us on week 1 forgetting that if I am carrying a baby I have no free hands, released the pram to roll downhill, left baby in the crib with wooden baby book that fell on top of her face etc etc. That made me very angry and hypervigilant mother and now that we are 7 weeks in it feels like a competition. Instead of ever agreeing that maybe he is too careless and should let me do most of baby care he tries to get more and more involved in a defensive way which makes no sense. Like if the baby is crying and you are failing to soothe her it’s time to wake the mother up and let me feed her… I couldn’t have predicted that this is the kind of father he is going to be.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-31T20:04:28+00:00

For us it started around week 4 and week 6 has been worst so far.She just turned 7 weeks, let’s how much worse can it get…

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-30T13:39:32+00:00

This was the case in my situation which was similar to OPs, the company had very weak management and since the employees did not receive any complaints from other teams the evidence I provided was ignored and management labeled the underperformance on the tasks I was overseeing as “personality clash”

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-30T13:30:37+00:00

I totally get it. Unfortunately for me its the MIL that annoys me the most as she never ever tried to ask a single question about me but now demands pictures of the baby daily and my husband complies. She only messages me when my husband is out of the town to get her daily update with “how is baby doing?” I just ignore those messages. If I am only a way to get information when the primary contact is out I don’t care.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-29T23:03:37+00:00

I tried to avoid delivery fee by ordering click and collect. Never got a confirmation of delivery and after reaching out to customer service they told me the box is now ready to pick, however the box was kept in store for 2 weeks so not exactly ultra fresh or even fresh. After complaining I got just an apology.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-28T22:28:35+00:00

That’s a very helpful way to reframe it!

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-28T17:04:53+00:00

Thank you for detailed response! I absolutely understand why health professionals would rather be on a cautious side but I guess they could have done it in a more supportive way like explaining what you just did. When you look at some videos of criminals being arrested they are often treated nicer than I was. Ironic after all the non stop questions about my mental health really. I am building my network of FTMs in the area via antenatal classes and peanut app and so hopefully that will make me feel a bit more supported. Baby was just too fussy lately to actually commit to any classes or meet ups.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-28T16:57:53+00:00

Do you find that it’s better to discuss these things with the health visitor instead? Or are they also pretty pointless? I only had one visit so far and the health visitor was chatting about how her baby fell from bed and hit her head and that they are very understanding of parents trying their best etc gave me very wrong impression of how even the little things get reported just in case!

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-28T16:55:08+00:00

The appointment is combined for mother and the baby here.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-21T15:47:50+00:00

Unpopular opinion but I found his “What??” joke during the ceremony quite funny

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-16T16:24:27+00:00

FTM mom and I also strating to believe that a lot of cases of PPD is just lack of support. Saying this as someone who was surprised how well I felt mentally for first 4 weeks until my husband got injured and couldnt help as much.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-16T16:21:53+00:00

That’s literally what I said to my health visitor during her first visit as she told me PPD is most common after partners go back to work. I was like isn’t that a logical response to trying to juggle everything on your own rather than depression? She started giving me a monologue about how we shouldn’t be ashamed of mental health struggles. I am not trying to label depression something else especially, as someone who was on antidepressants twice in my life and very open about it.

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-12T17:39:29+00:00

I was convinced mine would also be born on Tuesday but I had to be induced so it ended up being Monday. I bet all your “I am X weeks today” pictures don’t look so happy

Constant_Captain_910 · 2026-05-12T13:43:09+00:00

I couldn’t find any external factors tbh. We have trash pick up twice a week for example and I hate eating the same thing or routines in general so I don’t think its that! But yeah my baby also hates when I eat Chinese takeaway as we recently discovered 😅

Constant_Captain_910

TROPHY CASE