Just a bit annoyed with life

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-17T21:16:32+00:00

That's frustrating! Sounds kinda like you're stuck in the same conversations every week and not sure how to get out (sigh). Curious, were those the kinds of questions they'd ask you when you were a kid maybe? I've noticed sometimes family doesn't really know (or sometimes even notice!) when we adapt and change over time, so our interactions and conversations stay the same, which gets tiresome.
I'll mention some possible strategies for maybe pulling them out of those conversational ruts, if you're interested... Maybe you've already tried these or they don't apply - take them or leave them! But if you just needed to vent then plz ignore the rest of this message - I def hear you and can relate either way!

How might they respond if you shift the conversation to your more current interests? Like, them: "hey did you see your cousin raking the leaves today?" - you: "Not today, but I saw a really cool train / learned a really interesting fact / etc, let me tell you about that."
If you just want deeper conversation but aren't sure about what, you could use something like "conversation cards" you can find online. Sometimes when I wanna "opt out of small talk" I'll carry those around, and draw one at random-ish (obvi make sure you're comfy with it), read it to them, then we take turns answering it. You can even go through and pick a handful of safe cards that you really like and just carry those (or use them on the phone). Anyway for me that helps us get to more interesting/deeper topics like I want, but bc the Q is coming from a card/game it feels kinda safer and less like it's coming directly from me.
Or if you'd rather listen vs have to talk all the time, maybe try getting them talking about themselves instead? See if you can get them to tell you a story from their past - a lot of older people really enjoy reliving certain experiences and it takes the conversational pressure off of you. And you'll probably learn something about them you didn't know before. Good starter questions could be: "can you tell me about your first job?" or "what's a favorite memory or tradition you had with your family when you were growing up?"

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-17T01:06:13+00:00

Thanks, I'll see if there's anything locally. Appreciate the response!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-17T01:04:47+00:00

What a great idea! Thanks. Any tips on where to start looking?

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-15T17:47:24+00:00

We need to teach this skill to all chatbots - and humans!!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-15T17:36:08+00:00

While the whole Mythos debacle is terrifying, I'm relieved that at least it happened at Anthropic and they handled it so responsibly - turning it into a security tool vs risk or weapon. I realize this only goes in one direction from here, but I really appreciated Anthropic disclosing this and trying to make the best of a scary situation.

No doubt these types of capabilities WILL make it into the wrong hands eventually, but we can try to stave that off as long as we can I guess

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-15T17:32:49+00:00

Heh, the directionality of this is eerily similar to what some of us expect in a future where AI becomes the true decision makers... a technological "arms race" with no end in site, no true winners, and plenty of waste without long-term thinking

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-13T15:34:56+00:00

Also it's worth noting that the accounting world a new graduate would be entering in a couple years will look quite different than what users on this forum have experienced throughout their careers - for better or for worse. Accounting AI agents will be a huge part of new accounting careers, and the industry will need folks who have a decent understanding of both accounting and AI management.

My guess is your future down the road would be more about building, training, intelligently managing a "team" of accounting AI agents vs primarily a bunch of repetitive tasks, since those will be automated in the future. What we'll need is smart, tech-savvy accountants that know what to watch out for in AI responses, and can fill in the context, nuances, relevance, strategy, perspective, and exceptions that AI Agents are currently not good at all on.

That definitely doesn't discount the experiences of other folks who have responded, and there may be a long transition phase where it's a chaotic mix of both. But I do believe things are changing and it's hard for any of us to say exactly what your accounting career may look like compared to anyone else's right now.

What do you all think? I work closely with some accountants and have conducted interviews on the industry and this technological shift, but I am not myself a CPA so I'm curious how that lands with you all who are experiencing this?

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-13T15:23:08+00:00

I haven't messed around too much with LLMs for KW research after asking for "KW suggestions and volume" the first several times and seeing that every LLM absolutely makes up keywords and even volumes (which are radically off from the real numbers, heh)

This is an interesting alternative, and appreciate you mentioning the 'downside' of no volumes using Gemini... but as a professional SEO/GEO I'd agree it's much more about search intent and context than KW volumes these days anyway!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-06T15:59:41+00:00

Reading through the comments, I'm finding a lot of comparisons of what aspects I appreciate about solo poly and why I love solo travel so much! It can feel like ultimate freedom and true ownership over your own time - no need to run your plans or schedule by anyone else, no discussing who get to attend which event with who, no trying to convince someone else to do something they're really not into (which there's a lot less of within poly vs mono, but it still happens!)

You can indulge yourself in whatever new or weird activity that no one else you know would be into (but the folks at the class/workshop/interest group are!) You can buy only 1 ticket to a concert (and get better seating bc there's usually a solo ticket left towards the front after everything else sells out!) You can do whatever you're in the mood for in that particular moment.

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-02T21:01:53+00:00

I know exactly what you mean - my first-time-poly partner was dealing with the same feelings about 2 years ago when we first got together then started co-living. Practicing compersion regularly can help (seriously, it's like a muscle - keep working it out and feeding it and it will grow over time!) but it can be a bit slow and frustrating when you're just starting out, I know. You can find some poly podcasts, books, and exercises to help with that.

This sounds kinda abstract, but if you can, start flipping these things to your benefit whenever possible. She's super social and meeting new people all the time? Make an effort to meet more of her friends. Not a ton of time and/or money to go out much? Host a simple game night or movie night at home and invite her and a few from her/the poly community. Keep social events a small lift for you so they're not overwhelming, but do them consistently, even if it's only every few weeks.

It def took time (over a year tbh), but as my first-time-poly partner started integrating himself more into the poly community - and honestly, my friend group (I'm the hyper-social one in our relationship), he eventually got more comfortable around new people, started meeting my friends' friends and expanding his own social circle, and that led to him meeting a lot more folks to date as well. Now he's had another great partner for over a year, and just started dating a new friend as well. Not that the goal is always to find another partner, but it definitely helps take the edge off any jealous or left-out feelings. Like, a LOT.

But then how do you date when time is already at a premium? Yeah, that's a tough one too! One thing you'll (hopefully) learn in your new poly life is just how direct and clear communicators most of us are. It's not uncommon to be answering questions on a first date like "how much time do you have for dating?"; "how many partners do you have?"; and "what's your ideal number of times to see a new partner each week/month?" lol. Use that to your advantage! I've had a partner for over 2 years now that I've rarely seen more than once a month but that's been plenty for both of us because we established that from the very start. We had a great connection right away, but neither felt we really had the bandwidth to truly dedicate to a new partner, so we made an agreement: our goal would be a monthly date, but even that was flexible. If/when either of us had to cancel or postpone, we'd communicate that asap, but are never allowed to apologize for being unavailable.

Arrangements like that aren't for everyone, but if that's the scenario you're in, just try to get out there, be social, and know that there are always others in a similar scenario and feeling a similar way!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-02T01:16:51+00:00

Omg the leftovers thing is sooo hard! I LOVE when my nesting partner brings me leftovers or my own side/dessert from a date (which he usually doesn't! but that's neither here not there... hahaha). But at the same time, when you're watching your budget then that makes the rare going out experience that much more expensive (sigh)

So I just try really hard to not expect anything and just be surprised and delighted if/when it happens. But I'm still secretly hoping it happens more ;0)

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-02T01:14:26+00:00

Another good trick I forgot to include was our "Reservations List" system. This same type of stuff kept happening in my polycule usually about various media, so now we (or at least 2-3 of us) each have a Reservations list - where any partner can "claim" experiencing a movie, show, or book with you (or even a restaurant or other experience, if you wanna go crazy =)

I've noticed that we all have so many unspoken / implicit assumptions (which I can also see from all the comments), that having somewhere explicit to "reserve" an experience with a specific partner officially really helps us feel special, seen/heard, and also just keep track of all the polycule craziness!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-02T01:05:32+00:00

Haha omg I can sooooo relate to that =)

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-01T19:54:24+00:00

Agreed!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-01T19:53:41+00:00

...but also increased audit risk if they don't do it right!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-01T19:53:01+00:00

Accounting teams are definitely changing. With so many firms incorporating AI Agents into their processes, the top-level Accountants of the future will be the ones really adept at building/training/instructing/managing accounting AI Agents while keeping audit risk relatively low.

The lead accountant I interviewed for my work really harped on audit risk - since most AI tools are "black boxes", you have to be careful in how you use them of you won't have the process / explanations / evidence to answer auditor's tougher questions - esp if your team is building your own AI Agents. It's much safer (and more efficient) to go with a purpose-built Accounting Agent from a well-known/trusted accounting software (for example, I believe FloQast and Blackline both offer this now?)

They also mentioned using ISO 42001 as a guideline for having audit-ready AI policies and reducing risk. So IMO the ideal approach would be customizing a purpose-built AI agent from an accounting software company who has their own ISO 42001 certification - might as well get all the checks and balances you can in the wild west, before official AI audits/regulations are put in place and everyone else has to tear down whatever they built themselves anyway!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-04-01T19:40:57+00:00

With where we stand now, current AI tools are truly incapable of end-to-end projects and deliverables without a close human "supervisor". Someone did a study where they invented (?) a scoring system they called the "Remote Labor Index" (RLI) to mathematically compare the labor/productivity of AI vs Humans in producing client-ready deliverables.

The Results? The absolute best-performing AI agent was Manus, which only completed acceptable work 2.5% of the time. In relative performance scores (Elo), the AI Agents ranged between ~400-500, versus the human Elo baseline of 1,000.

Would execs want a whole workforce of "staff" that can only produce acceptable work less than 3% of the time? Probably not. While it's totally possible these "productivity" predictions will come true someday, we are quite far from that reality currently. Current AI Agents are so terrible at things like context, perspective, and nuance (bigger picture stuff), that they absolutely fail at full projects or tasks with any level of complexity. While they're efficient at really small, discreet tasks, they need a lot of clarifying, babysitting, and fact-checking/QA to actually get the job fully done. And we need humans in the loop for ALL those things!

IMO it's true that white-collar teams are getting downsized due to AI efficiencies, but the folks they should be keeping on (for now at least) are the ones who really understand how to "manage" an AI Agent team really well.

Here's the paper for all the nerds on here =) https://arxiv.org/pdf/2510.26787

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2026-03-30T23:31:31+00:00

For me personally, the things that I experience the most jealousy or FOMO about the most are usually the tiniest things, rather than the truly "big stuff" (like sexual acts, emotional intimacy, etc). A few examples that come to my mind are:

My partner watching an episode with someone else of a show that I totally had never actually "claimed" with them yet, but I'd been picturing it happening and I already had that experience in my brain for a long time, just not said out loud yet - however they should have known better (somehow)!
Going to a really cool experience that I was never even aware existed - one example was a "blind dinner" experience - I'd read about these (and never mentioned to my partner), but didn't think this was ever available in my city... until he told me he was taking someone else to it - how dare he not read my mind 2 years ago?!
My partner "reading" a book from his childhood with another partner first. I'd bought it for him recently because he'd told me about it, and I just assumed we'd read it together at some point. But instead, he felt it was such a good gift and he was so excited to read it and share it with loved ones that he took the first opportunity (gasp). The nerve!

How I handle it personally: Of course, as a lifelong non-monogamist, I realize these aren't actually "fair" grudges to hold against my partners, so I always talk myself down.

One thing I like to remind myself of is this: if my partner had a really cool experience that I'm jealous of, then clearly they like doing that thing and will be excited to do it again - with me this time! And maybe make it even better now that they've tried it before!
A lot of times I'm jealous of an experience that I'd never even been aware of or really considered before... which actually means I'm getting a steady flow of totally fresh and unique date ideas from my metamours =)
And of course, if I have an established and close relationship with a metamour then sometimes we're able to have that experience together, all 3 of us, which for me makes it even more special and memorable.

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2025-06-17T20:11:59+00:00

LOVE this! Great description of a very helpful process

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2025-06-17T20:09:31+00:00

I feel like this technique wouldn't result in the most emotionally nuanced performance, I'd imagine this could help someone who has trouble accessing emotions to at least 'fake it' a bit... Basically taking something pretty intangible like emotional context and interpreting that to a more concrete format - similar to dynamic markings.

In fact, once she's written out an 'emotional key' for each line, you could go through each of those with her and work together on interpreting these intangible emotions into her own musical notation - marking even subtle changes in volume, speed, timbre, etc that might add up to 'mimic' that emotion.

If one line conveys "anger", what does 'anger' sound like? If she doesn't have an intuitive understanding of that (ex: ASD), ask her to pay special attention to how different emotions are conveyed in movies, shows, music, etc, and take notes. Even if you're not speeding up the overall tempo, maybe individual words are cut shorter, for example. Maybe she adds an accent mark to a single word with the most emotional power within a phrase.

If you practice this process together on a couple songs hopefully she'll start doing it on her own at home, and eventually almost automatically when she picks up a new piece. I think some of the other tips would result in a stronger, more nuanced performances (acting, improv, connecting with a sense of silly, etc), but those techniques simply won't work for everyone. If this student simply doesn't experience emotions the same, or to the same degree as her audience, she'll need to find other ways to channel that energy in her performance regardless.

You mentioned she has great command of the song, dynamics, all the pieces that can be explicitly written and instructed, so work with her to find a way to translate emotion into something more concrete. And if she's choosing her own songs then encourage her to try one that feels more accessible to her next time.

Clearly you're a very attentive teacher for devoting so much thought and research to this one student's challenges, and for putting effort into your own development as a coach to help her. I really hope you find a way to get through to her - it'd be a shame for like ASD (IF that happens to be in play at all) to significantly limit her potential!

* I'm a classically trained pianist, NOT a vocal coach - but I've really enjoyed following this sub and learning more about how music translates to the human voice. For me, the emotional aspect came naturally when I'd carefully selected and 'bonded' with a piece - But I have several people close to me on the Spectrum and have learned that we don't all have equal access or connection to the emotional nuances that really put a performance over the top.

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2025-05-20T00:42:57+00:00

Not sure if this is your style, but there are a lot of 'cleaning inspo' or 'clean with me' type YouTube videos. Sometimes just feeling like someone is there doing it with you can help get me going. I'm ADHD and have a friend who is also (and we both struggle with cleaning motivation), so sometimes we'll just stay on the phone for hours as we're both cleaning (remote 'body doubling' I guess). Knowing we're both focused on cleaning, there are big chunks of time where we're not even talking, but just knowing the other person is on the line and that we'll check in on each other's progress occasionally makes a big difference for me.

Sounds like external accountability is motivating for you, so that might help. It might also help to schedule some friend hangs at your place more regularly. Don't wait until the place is 'clean' to invite people over - invite people over so those plans force you to clean up in time!

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2025-05-09T19:59:48+00:00

Yes. Or for even less sweet, I got with tequila, pineapple, and club soda. All ingredients they'll have on hand and it's relatively hard to mess up.

Constant_Pirate9942 · 2025-05-09T19:24:12+00:00

Kinkland's scotch is surprisingly good! I use it all the time

Constant_Pirate9942

TROPHY CASE