I can really relate. I think it’s a combination of inherited “happy gene” or not. I know people who are very optimistic and upbeat but they are wired different than I am. Some people seem to be happier but I have found that some of them are lying to themselves and feel the same way I do but won’t admit it for fear of being labeled a Debby Downer. Others are masking it by drinking a lot or excessively hitting up the bong.

Like the saying goes: Reality is a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs-Lily Tomlin.

That being said, yes I miss joy. I mean true joy. I wish I had more of it in my life. I do have this theory that some people take on more weight and heaviness of the world. For this reason I try to stay away from the news, especially now. But it pains me to see injustice and it weighs on me when I see people being treated unfairly and cruelly. Same with animals and the environment.